Sunday 17 May 2015

Mothers And Daughters


Unwavering Commitment And Undying Love

I loved to dote on Mom. I enjoyed pampering her with gifts and lunch treats as often as I could.  In the words of my Dad, handwritten in a handmade birthday card for Mom a couple of years ago, she had taken care of him with "unwavering commitment and undying love".  Indeed, she had taken care of the entire family with unwavering commitment and undying love. So, I would never hesitate to take the day off from work to spend the day with her, call her in between my meetings at work just to ask her about her day, and surprise her with gifts from time to time. What I could do for her was nothing. The amount of sacrifices made would not even come close to those that she had made for the family. This woman's "unwavering commitment and undying love" was not reserved only for Dad, my brother and I. She rendered it generously to the rest of her family, particularly Grandma.  That is why, as  I grew up and became successful, I had always put Mom above everyone and everything else.  All I wanted was to be able to take care of her and make her happy.  I wanted to wipe off every wrinkle from her face, the tell-tale signs of the struggles she had suffered during her younger days.  

These are just some of the stories of her past that I had picked up recently.  I did not want to make the mistake I did in the past when I finally shared stories about Dad when it was way too late.   I am sharing these stories today as my belated Mothers' Day tribute to the strongest and bravest women in my life, my Mother and my Grandma. 

The Engagement Ring

On 11 August 1968, Dad and Mom got engaged to be married.  I flipped through the dusty family albums to get an insight into that occasion.  It was a day filled with so much happiness as they exchanged engagement rings and  promised each other a future of marital bliss and eternal love.   A few days ago, I spotted Mom wearing the engagement ring and proceeded to remove it from her finger to play with it.  The underside of the white gold band was inscribed "E. Nah - 11 August 1968". I thought that was rather odd.  That had to be Dad's engagement ring, wasn't it?   When one exchanges a wedding or engagement ring, wouldn't the inscription within the underside of that ring be that of your spouse's  name and not your own?  

I then asked Mom,"Where is your engagement ring? Isn't this Dad's?"  Mom then proceeded to tell me that shortly after her engagement to Dad, she gave the ring to Grandma so that the latter could have it pawned in order to have some money to feed the rest of the kids at home.  Grandma had 6 kids including Mom. It was a difficult life having to raise 6 kids post war, on my Grandpa's meagre earnings as a clerk at the university.  Mom said it was a matter of survival for the family. She felt that as the oldest sibling about to be married, while she was one less burden on my Grandma and Grandpa, Mom felt that it was her duty to help the family out when they were in need.  Dad knew nothing about the pawned engagement ring and neither did anyone else within the family.  It was a secret shared between mother and daughter.   I felt compelled as the daughter and granddaughter to finally let the cat out of the bag within this blog post because it was to me, a symbol of my mother's "unwavering commitment and undying love" shown towards her family.  If I were put in the same position, pressured by those circumstances, I would have done the same. It is this special unspoken mother-daughter connection underlying our relationship and her own relationship with her mother, that no one else on earth could ever understand.

The Hairdresser Duo

Today, during lunch with Grandma, I spoke to her about the engagement ring. She  shared even more stories from the past that underscored this special mother-daughter bond.  Grandma was a trained hairdresser.  At the family's home in Serangoon Gardens then, she had put up a sign that said "Hairdresser" at the front of the house.  Many women living in that area would visit the home to have their hair washed, styled and permed.  Grandma and Mom who had helped her then, would sometimes suffer from skin irritations on their fingers because of the hair treatment lotions they had to use in the course of their work.  When times were really tough and money was tight, Mom would help Grandma to pack the curlers, combs, pegs, pins, hairnets, lotions and hairdryer into a little old schoolbag and travel across the village neighborhood to sell their hairdressing services. They were "hairdressers making house calls".  Serangoon Gardens then was a village where many British military personnel and their families had lived.  So many of these women who had their hair treated by Grandma were wives of British soldiers.   My Grandma and Mom were such an enterprising duo.  They even took IOUs on payment for the hair treatment sessions because some of these women could only pay them on Thursdays when their husbands who had worked in the British army, got their weekly salary.  I was completely amazed at the thought of this dynamic mother-daughter team gallivanting across the village neighborhood with their little schoolbag, driven by circumstance to become entrepreneurs.   Again, it is this unspoken mother-daughter bond that inspired so much strength and courage to keep the family going, sheltered, fed and schooled.

Never Go Hungry

Grandma also spoke about how she would never allow the family to go hungry. Even with little or no money, she would open a pack of vermicelli that cost 40 cents then, and fried it with a couple of eggs and soy sauce.  That would feed the family of 6 kids and 2 adults very well. If there were no vermicelli or noodles to be found in the cupboard, she would fry a little pork lard in some oil, mixed that with rice and soy sauce and whipped up a delicious rice dish for the family dinner.  Grandma was so resourceful. She had no choice then when poverty struck, but she assured me that the family was a very happy one.  I know, because Mom, no matter what, had always embraced life with positivity. If Mom was a chip of her block, I was truly grateful that Grandma had been critical in inspiring that positivity and courage in my mother.

Today, Grandma and Mom are closer than ever. Everywhere they went and everything they did together, be it playing up a storm at their weekly mahjong games with friends or enjoying a buffet lunch uptown, I would see the same two women walking across the village neighbourhood with their little schoolbag filled with hairdressing tools. 

I love my Mom and Grandma. I wished I was as strong and brave as they were.  I am just a wee shadow of their giant selves, because what they had brought to the table were their unwavering commitment and their undying love for the family.

Respect.


About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  



My Beautiful Grandmother And Mother - Sometimes Looney But Mostly Sweet

Dad's Engagement Ring - He Didn't Know Mom's Been Pawned.  I Hope He Understood Why.

The little schoolbag full of hairdressing tools looked something like this.

Monday 11 May 2015

Eat Train Write : A Chapter In My Bangkok Travel Diary

Eat. Shop. Laugh.


The 2 long weekends recently spent in Bangkok could not have  been more different as far as experiences were concerned.   The previous weekend was a girly trip jam-packed full of shopping, gourmet adventure and endless girly chatter and belly-hugging laughter around the clock.  We busted our shopping budget hopping from mall to mall which resulted in my  coming home with 2 extra bags and absolutely no more space in my wardrobe.  We had a foot massage everyday to salve our aching feet from all that marathon shopping spree.  We indulged in exotic Thai street food and sinfully decadent desserts that did not sit well with my personal trainers and boxing coach when I sluggishly pulled myself into the gym for a couple of training sessions before leaving Singapore for Bangkok again.


Eat. Train. Write. 


When I returned to Bangkok this recent weekend, the trip saw a schedule packed with boxing training, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu training for the hubby, and plenty of Mixed Martial Arts action.  We were on a fight journalism assignment to cover Full Metal Dojo, Thailand's largest MMA event.  So the weekend saw us hauling camera equipment across town for some exciting fight photography work, worked through the night selecting and editing photos, conducted interviews with the fighters,  and did a couple of writeups to cover the weigh-in results as well as the play-by-play account of the event during fight night. 


As I was booked for  boxing training at the Bangkok Fight Lab this weekend, I was also careful about keeping my diet clean.  I hardly indulged in decadent food and did not have a drop of alcohol nor did I have any dessert simply because I wanted to get back on track with my fitness regime. I watched everything I ate, got as much rest as I could and kept my activity levels up.

 At his BJJ training sessions with Morgan at the Bangkok Fight Lab, David picked up new skills which was a big deal for an eager newbie like him, who often felt much slower as he rolled inflexibly behind the other younger, more agile, or more advanced  team members during his BJJ classes back home.  At my boxing training sessions with Kru Songkram, I often felt that similar intensity that I get during my boxing training sessions in Singapore simply because like my own coach, Kru Songkram is finicky about technique. His sessions were mainly drills which I would grumble about but knew deep in my heart that they were critical.  


Our only indulgences during this trip was a luxurious spa treatment which I bought David as a birthday present.  We also indulged in a scrumptious Teppanyaki dinner at Benihana restaurant, at the Anantara Resort where we had an early  14th wedding anniversary cum David's 51st birthday celebration.  The team at Benihana was flawless when it came to service and did everything to make David's 51st birthday celebration a memorable one.  


When all that writing and photo editing for Full Metal Dojo were completed, we took the camera out onto the streets of Bangkok and walked everywhere, off the beaten track, to capture some  Bangkok street scenes.


Bangkok Fuels My Soul


While both long weekends were as different as chalk and cheese, for me, my experiences in Bangkok fed my soul. Whether it was the food, the shopping, the massages, the people, their smiles, my boxing training, doing all that frantic writing before and  during fight night, staying up to edit photos or simply watching the amazing transition of Thai fighters from traditional Muay Thai experts to excellent MMA fighters, Bangkok truly fueled my soul.  


I love this city,  I love spending time with my girl friends or the hubby doing totally different things in this city. I love the friends I had made in this city.  I absolutely love being in this city.   I love the smells, sights and sounds of this city.  Every moment spent in Bangkok for me in the past 2 weekends, was somewhat like Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love.   For me, it was Eat, Train, Write.  

Even as I walked through the gate at the airport in Bangkok to board my flight back to Singapore, I was already making plans for my next trip back.


About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

Kamikaze Tuk Tuk Driver Failed To Spoil Our Selfie Fun

Trained With Kru Songkram At The Bangkok Fight Lab

Morgan Perkins Showing David Some New BJJ Moves

Some MMA Action At Full Metal Dojo 5. (courtesy of David Ash www.singaporemaven.com)

The Main Event At Full Metal Dojo 5 Was Fought Between Show Promoter Jon Nutt And The Referee Dana Blouin.  Thankfully They Are Still Good Friends, Dana's Black Eye Notwithstanding.

River Life (courtesy of David Ash www.singaporemaven.com)

Sunset At Chao Phraya River (courtesy of David Ash www.singaporemaven.com)

A Busking Schoolboy Captured On The Streets Of Bangkok. His Dancing Doll Bears An Uncanny Resemblance To Him.

David And I Enjoyed An Early Wedding Anniversary And Birthday Celebration At Benihana Restaurant, Anantara Hotel

The Benihana Team Surprised David With A Birthday Cake And A Song

I Watched My Diet And Only Had A Pot Of Green Tea At Mr Jones' Orphanage Cafe

Tuesday 5 May 2015

A Girly Weekend In Bangkok


 
I Hate Traveling


I know the posts across my social media platforms project a different perspective but I truly dislike traveling.  I dislike packing my luggage, the administrative hassle of booking a trip, going through the immigration and security procedures and then landing up in the plane at a designated seat next to someone who might lean towards me throughout the flight and drop his head on my shoulder ever so often as he pretended to snooze while I gag because of his severe body odour while I try to dodge his bad case of dandruff at the same time. I dislike traveling.
 
Over the years, I had always traveled with a purpose.  I traveled for business, for boxing training, for yoga, or on writing assignments, and most of the time with my husband.  On personal trips, he would make all travel arrangements.  I just showed up at the airport with my packed bags. Hassle-free. 
 
A Timely Trip With The Girls
 
So it surprised me somewhat, when I agreed to go on a girls-only trip to Bangkok over the long May Day weekend recently.   The rules were: 1) no boxing gloves, 2) no gym gear, and 3) no men.  We were planning to paint the town red, eat and shop our way through Bangkok, indulge in daily massages or a manicure and just enjoy the camaraderie and laughter as a collective sisterhood of looney colleagues who were also close friends over the years. Initially, it sounded like a bizarre nightmare for me. I could not think of a worse trip.  Without my boxing gloves and gym gear, I felt lost.  Manicure? I had never done a manicure in perhaps 6-8 years.  Eating and shopping spree? I am on a strict high- protein, gluten-free, no processed food, no sugar diet, and if it isn’t a sports or fight gear shop, I would not spend time in it.
 
However, this girly trip came at a right time.  Dad had just passed on slightly more than a fortnight ago and I had been deep in grief.  Work had dealt so much stress because of the recent reorganization of my team.  I had been training almost 7 days a week in boxing, muay thai, strength and conditioning sessions and sprints on Sundays that my body was beginning to holler for a wee bit of rest. I had been doing so many client readings in Tarot and Numerology right up to wee hours of the morning sometimes when overseas clients request for skype or email readings. I have been working on several sports-related articles for various websites at the same time. These were gradually taking a toll on me and I thought this trip would be a timely reprieve.  
It was.
 
So Much Fun
 
This girls-only trip was the best decision I made for myself.  It was truly a critical component of self-care.  Somehow, the 10 girls that banded together for this trip had such wonderful chemistry.  We laughed, we ate adventurously, we snapped at each other jokingly, we shared worries with our respective room mates, we talked through the night, we shopped every nook and corner of every mall, we watched out for each other, we waited patiently for each other, we broke up into smaller groups according to our respective shopping and dining patterns almost instinctively and we completely threw our daily cares away for a wee weekend and focused on just us.  
It was my first girly trip.  It took a long time for me to embrace this strange concept of traveling together with a bunch of close friends simply because I am very protective of my privacy and my space.  However, I was glad these girls shared my space and allowed me to share theirs. 
 
Would I do it again?  Hell, yes! When is our next trip girls?
 
About The Writer
 
 
The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Boxing and Muay Thai and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  


10 looney girls at Bangkok Chinatown. Almost had a garbage truck rammed into us as we took this wefie.

Coconut ice cream at Chatuchak Market - we needed to cool off from the heat

I  swear I had no part to play in eating all these bowls of Bangkok's famous "boat noodles"

At the Hello Kitty Café in Bangkok - bliss

Cute right? right?

In Hello Kitty heaven.

One of the best meals ever in Bangkok was our Teppanyaki dinner at Benihana at the Anantara Resort and Spa, Bangkok

Our Teppanyaki Chef at Benihana Restaurant

I had only a bite:D The waffle at Mr Jones' Orphanage at Siam Centre

I only had a wee bite...:D  This  was the best Shibuya toast at After You Café at Siam Square

Cute. Coffee at Mr Jones' Orphanage, Siam Centre

Got Mum a uniquely Thai Mother's Day gift.  A ring shaped like an elephant made from 18k gold, black diamond for its eye and ruby on its back.  Pretty.