Genuine Appreciation

Yesterday evening, upon stumbling back into our home after a difficult day, Joel greeted me with a couple of whiskey glasses uniquely shaped like a skull. I love my single malt whiskeys and would sometimes unwind with a Macallan, Belvenie, Laprhroaig or Talisker. And when I want to celebrate a little achievement, or an occasion, I’ll pull out my Springbank. The gift of our new whiskey glasses was timely because nothing can wash away a stressful day better than a shot of single malt served in unique glasses given by my son. And boy, did I have a stressful day. Watching me sip my single malt with a smile across my face was all the appreciation Joel needed for his thoughtfulness.

So that brings me to the topic of “Genuine Appreciation”. It’s easy to offer money, a dinner treat, a bunch of flowers, and even easier to offer lip service, but genuine appreciation is the hardest to give out, and the rarest to receive.

Within the family, we expect each member of our family to play our respective roles to run a home perfectly. However, we sometimes take for granted the little things that we do for each other. David prepares my pills every morning, lining them up neatly in a row next to my glass of freshly squeezed juice and a cup of freshly brewed coffee. This is a gesture of love I would always appreciate because it starts my morning right and allows me to ease into my day without haphazardly rushing around the kitchen to prepare my own breakfast. And what have I taken for granted? For a long while, David had been attempting his version of coffee art by drawing a heart on the foam of my coffee. I used to delight in embarrassing him by posting pictures of these on facebook and in his words “undermine” his “burly, macho, Scotsman image”. It’s been months since he has done that and I miss that most in the mornings.

Mom sometimes comes by our home with bottles of her wretched Chinese herbal brews that taste like embalming fluid. These herbal brews promise to tip the balance of the Yin and Yang in our bodies to our favor and recharge us with vitality to prevent us from catching a fever and a flu. Sometimes when Mom goes home, the herbal brews either go to the dog or in the bin without her knowing. But often, she would outstay her visit till she watched every drop of these herbal brews go down our throats. Truly unpleasant. However, I truly appreciate Mom’s show of motherly concern and love. I especially appreciate the time when she took the trouble to cook my favorite dishes after my surgery, and wheeled Dad in his wheelchair, while brandishing pots of delicious food to our home. Only the power of motherly love can help me heal my post-surgery wounds even more quickly.

Then there’s my team at work. In my career, this is probably the smallest number of colleagues within a team that does everything from public relations, corporate communications, customer communications, brand marketing, product marketing, digital marketing, sponsorship and corporate social responsibility. And they do it splendidly. God knows how they juggled the multiple projects within the pressures of tight timelines, demanding internal clients with multiple agendas and a period where we are so under-staffed with one of the girls away on maternity leave and another, away on long leave. I have deep respect for these girls and am exceptionally humbled by the show of solidarity and teamwork that made their delivery of every project even more perfect. That was the reason why, I had a lot of appreciation for the effort they put into their work, that I was driven to do the same by working even while I was on hospitalization leave. If the team had to be in the trenches, I was going to be in the trenches with them.

That is why I get annoyed when marketing communications specialists in any company gets under-appreciated. The role of marketing communications had often been relegated to pretty envelope makers, coherent letter writers, and pretty advertising campaign developers. How much effort one puts into lending thought leadership in any business, and how many times one’s work gets seen as a best practice amongst the different markets in the region, a marketing communications specialist seldom gets a pat on the back. However, they are the first to get nit-picked at, with frivolous criticisms about anything from the colors they use within an advertising campaign to whether a talent used in the campaign has a moustache or should be clean-shaven. Years ago, I worked for a company where I was even asked why I hadn’t the strategic mind to put an advertisement at our airport lounges when the bulk of our customers we were targeting were locals. Genuine appreciation isn’t about paying lip service to the “pretty colors” a marketing communications specialist puts out on the advertising in the newspapers. It’s about the genuine appreciation for the fact that these group of specialists are truly doing what they do best, to support the business goals. And I wished more people would understand the role and the contributions from this role much better.

Genuine appreciation in any circumstance, at home, at work, or amongst friends is hard to come by. It becomes really sad if we sit around to expect it and it becomes even sadder, when we DO NOT expect it. I am just puzzled, if I could live life being truly grateful for everything around me from my husband, son, my parents, my job, my team and my friends, and tell them so as often as I can, I cannot understand how difficult it is for other people to do the same.

Looking good in my 40s effortlessly with Vitamin Science

As Head of Marketing at a financial institution, I clock countless of hours at the office zipping from meetings to meetings. When I return home from work, the pace continues with me hunching over my Blackberry to respond to emails, jotting down notes in preparation for developing my marketing campaign plans, putting together the household grocery list for the helper, planning the family's meals for the week, and discussing the day's issues with my husband and son.

When the family's tucked in bed, faraway in dreamland, I would then start to relax with my hobby - tarot reading. This means that I would be on my emails, phone or Skype late into the night, responding to clients who have requested for a tarot reading from me. I am extremely passionate about tarot. As a certified professional tarot reader I not only read the tarot cards for my clients during my spare time, but I also mentor and teach prospective tarot readers and I volunteer as a reader for the Free Tarot Network too.

With my attempt to juggle multiple roles and with hardly much rest even on weekends, maintaining good health, great skin and well being are my biggest challenges.

When I was 40 turning 41, I reveled in the notion that the 40s was the best decade for a woman. I would have had garnered so much knowledge and experience backed by a mega load of self confidence and pulled them all together with a fabulous family that included a 19 year old son. A tiny wrinkle or 2 on my forehead and bags under my eyes, were just badges of experience I didn't mind brandishing. I took care of myself with a healthy dose of regular visits to the gym, plenty of water, my daily vitamins, well-balanced meals and a disciplined Skincare regime of washing, toning, moisturizing twice a day, weekly masks and monthly facials.

At 43, and just shy of a couple of years away from being classified as "mid- 40s", the type of Skincare I used became even more important. At the age of 43, the couple of tiny wrinkles on my forehead and the eye bags were no longer in agreement with my concept of "40 and Fabulous". I had to prevent them from accelerating further into crows-feet, dull complexion and saggy skin. As the demands in my life meant that my body and mind demanded healthier food, I started eating more organic foods. And I started rationalizing that if eating good quality, organic foods helped me maintain a healthy body and mind, then I had better use good quality, organic Skincare to maintain a healthy glow in my skin.

That's when I discovered Vitamin Science. Like my daily dosage of vitamins that I take every morning to keep me healthy and maintain my energy levels, Vitamin Science Skincare was like a healthy dose of vitamins and minerals which helps me maintain a healthy glow in my skin.

I am currently using the Vitamin Science Vita EA Lifting Toner, Serum, Emulsion, Night Cream as well as the BB Cream. The texture is so light that I can't feel it on my skin, and yet I know that these miracle Skincare products are working to enhance the collagen production in my skin whilst reducing fine lines and increasing the translucence and clarity of my complexion. The best part about the products is that my new Skincare regime with Vitamin Science is completely adequate such that I do not need a specific eye cream. Years of dabbing on rich and heavy eye creams only worsened my eye bags over the years when I pulled and tugged at the delicate skin around the eyes with these creams. I should have discovered Vitamin Science skincare earlier!

Don't take my word for it. I am almost in my mid 40s, and proudly so. I am also juggling an extremely busy lifestyle with hardly much rest managing my career as a marketeer in a fast-paced industry, managing a hobby that demands intense time and energy with clients from around the world who are sometimes in distress, and managing multiple roles as wife, mother, daughter and friend. In spite of these pressures, for what my husband jokingly calls "an old bird", I think I look fabulous.

Besides thanking my parents for the youthful genes I have inherited, I do thank Vitamin Science for helping me maintain a youthful glow in my skin.

About The Writer:


The writer of this blog post is a 43 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketeer at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and her family which includes a 19 year old son.

She was not financially remunerated for this blog post and writing this post was entirely an expression of her personal opinions.

The first few months of Sun Goddess Tarot

Years ago, while standing at a major crossroad of my life, a Feng Shui master I had visited, gave me a list of "must-do" activities which he promised would help me ride the rough and maneuver the hurdles along that path. The list went like this, 1) take up a course/learn something new, 2) balance my temperament/don't be too hard on myself and 3) open my mind to new experiences/stop being judgmental and prejudiced.

So, just barely a few months ago, when my tarot teacher Renae, invited me to join her basic and advance tarot classes, I thought I might have lost the plot in agreeing to sign up for it but went ahead to do so because it was the perfect way for me to tick that list. It certainly looked easier than that MBA from the University of Chicago business School or the Six Sigma Black Belt course which I was considering signing up for. And it sounded like an easy and relaxing way to spend a few weekends.

Months have passed since then. I have set up Sun Goddess Tarot as a professional consultancy offering confidential readings for clients online, in person, and at corporate and charity events.

I am particularly proud that after graduating from Renae's advance tarot class, I was so fueled with passion for the art of tarot reading that I had my logo and my website (www.sungoddesstarot.com) designed with a vision in mind. How they look, had to represent the very essence of what I wanted for my clients and myself. I wanted vitality, energy, optimism, self-love, confidence and compassion as I set off on that journey past the original crossroad at which I found myself trapped in previously.

Sun Goddess Tarot gave me all that and more. In a few short months, my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot has now gotten 123 fans who are a great mix of clients and fellow tarot readers with whom I exchange a lot of learnings and experiences. I have also had my first experience doing tarot readings for the Children's Cancer Foundation last month. That was fun. I managed to do 42 readings in a day and while I went home nursing a 3-day migraine, I came out of it feeling gratified that I had put my skills to good use.

I am now a member of the Tarot Association of the British Isles and the American Tarot Association, and I am endorsed as one of the latter's readers for the Free Tarot Network. I was so thankful for a mentor assigned to me by the FTN who further enriched my knowledge of the art of tarot and actually made me a better and more intuitive reader. I have also gotten myself professionally certified as a CPTR by the Tarot Certification Board of America. The TCBA has 7 levels of certification exams that I had to sit for, and I finished 3 exams in a month. How's that for enthusiasm!

And you know what? That Feng Shui master was right. Learning the tarot and reading for clients in the last few months have been a turning point in my life. I feel completely healed from past hurts and disappointments as I became part of the healing process of my clients by reading their tarot cards. I also became more aware of myself and more opened to the faults and failings of others. Embracing the art of tarot has allowed me to get past that crossroad in my life, and walk that winding road with absolutely no fear of the roadblocks along my path. I am not even shying away from the skepticism of some friends who up to this moment, still thought that I made house-calls on a broom and danced naked under the moon.

So where am I taking this whole Tarot business? As far as I am concerned, it's still a beloved hobby of mine. I am not leaving my job as a marketeer to pursue tarot reading as a career just yet. I absolutely love my job and funnily enough, the intuition honed from tarot reading has made me a better marketeer. Also, I think it's the universe' way of telling me that I should just continue on this path of enriching my knowledge of tarot and continue sharpening my intuition as a reader. Honestly, I feel I haven't learnt enough and am thankful for every opportunity I get to improve my reading skills. One day, I hope to be good enough to be able to teach and mentor other tarot readers who have embraced the art as enthusiastically as I have.

The family has finally accepted that this isn't just a phase of looniness that I am going through. And I am so glad that for every accurate reading that I do for my clients, it's an opportunity for me to demystify tarot as a fortune telling tool.

Someone said to me last week, " The world of Tarot has no limits if your intent is pure."

What's Dad got to do with it?

Many years ago, my gran on Dad's side took him to a fortune teller. The fortune teller said that Dad would die at the ripe old age of 70. Dad's 71 and as far as I know, even in his wheel chair, his mental sharpness and lucidity can still start or stop an argument over political issues. I never knew gran. She died when Dad was quite young. But I wished she was alive for me to tell her that that fortune teller was a complete fake.

Dad often reminisce about the days he sees his mother waiting faithfully by the window till wee hours of the morning for gramps to come home from work or other extra curricular activities. He would also remember, with a slight hint of anger, how gramps remarried about 6 months after his mother died.

He also talked about the affections gramps showered on his elder sister LC. The favoritism right up to gramp's death was quite obvious even to us, grandchildren.

I think, in that traditional Peranakan household, Dad never quite got the fatherly love he deserved. However, I can bear testimony to the fact that Dad was never anything like his father. In my entire life, Dad was the best father ever. I was never in want for anything. He stood by me under every circumstance.

Even when I was going through a divorce and Dad, in his utter disappointment, cut me off, I could see the pain I had put him through. It took me almost 11 years to realize that he wasn't disappointed with my decision for a divorce. Rather, he was so disappointed because with that special father-daughter bond we had, entrenched by his experience of not having a communicative relationship with his own father, I never thought to share my marital problems with the one man who could have protected me.

Till today I am so grateful that Dad taught me the one thing money couldn't buy - to stand up for what is right. His incarceration by the establishment for his political views was a lesson to me about not allowing myself to be moulded by the views of others. That's why I am extremely honest with my opinions at work even in the presence of my bosses. His lucidity in spite of being in a wheelchair taught me that there are no limitations under any circumstance. That's why I am proud of my skills and passion at work in spite of not being actuary-trained in a company full of talented actuaries.

Most importantly, Dad is an epitome of the adage "being true to yourself". He didn't have a childhood filled with warm kisses and nurturing hugs from his father. From his school days through to his graduation at the university, through his marriage and having kids, Dad didn't have his father pat him on his back or hold his hand at every milestone. And yet there is no semblance of bitterness in his heart. He never used his past as an excuse to be a lousy father. In fact, he used his past as an excuse to give me more warm kisses and nurturing hugs.

Dad is my hero. Because of him, I became a better person, a better spouse and a better parent. I don't want to just thank him for being my Dad on Father's Day. I want to thank him everyday.

Micro - management

Am I a micro-manager?

In the past, when my ex-bosses attempted to interfere with my perfect, well-laid marketing plans, making whimsical changes in media plans, creative briefs or activation ideas, I called it micro-managing.

When they attempted to re-engineer the structure of my team, decided how I rated them, or prevented me from firing non-contributors to the business, I called it micro-managing.

At home, there were times I thought the hubby's weekend stubble grown in the attempt to emulate the Hollywood brat pack of sexy bad boys made him look like a scruffy, down and out vagrant, smoking his weed while seated on a cardboard at a street corner with his faithful dog. When I asked him to shave it off if he wanted to be seen with me in public, he called it micro-managing.

When I had one of those nurturing chats with Joel in an attempt to find out who he was dating, what he was dating and when...you know, so I could share my rich experiences of my younger days spent in the company of some girlfriends I was acquainted with who were money-grubbing, sex-starved, manipulative lasses weaving their boyfriends around their snarly fingers. I just wanted to make him aware of the dangers of puppy love but he called it micro-managing.

When I visited Dad and Mom over the weekend and realized that all Dad had for lunch was a pack of peanuts due to lack of appetite, I would go on a tirade against Mom for starving my beloved father. I felt like the senior matron of a nursing home berating the junior nursing interns for misplacing a walking frame. Mom dismissed my melodramatic display of piety and called it micro-managing...then turned her attention back to the pretty flowers on the mahjong tiles in front of her.

When the maid attempted my granny's recipe of Peranakan Chicken Curry, I would totter about in the kitchen giving her tips on how to get a more robust flavor from the hand-blended curry paste with the use of candlenuts. I sensed her displeasure at my presence in HER kitchen, demonstrated by her moody demeanor and the cacophony of noises she created in the orchestral pit of a kitchen sink as she washed the crockery and utensils. She called my well-intended culinary advice micro-managing.

When I attempted to adjust Bailey's collar just now to tighten it, the bloody mutt walked away! Did it think I was micro-managing too?!

I do know a thing or two about micro-management. And like most creative people, I do dislike being on the receiving end of it. I hope those who were on the receiving end of my micro-managing ways could forgive me for lending passion into everything I do although one might deem my actions as micro-managing. And yes, please be honest by telling me when I do push the boundaries of micro-management.

Introducing Sol Elixir

Finally, I’ve got a custom-blended essential oil specially created for Sun Goddess Tarot which is an uplifting elixir that promises to enhance vitality, optimism, self-love and general well-being. I have named it Sol Elixir.

Sol was hand-blended by the very talented alchemist, Helena from Earth Magic Potions, based on ancient Lemurian knowledge and years of personal practice in essential oils, crystals and healing techniques.

Sol was created by custom-blending the highest quality, certified organic therapeutic grade essential oils of Jasmine, Lavender, Rose, Bergamot, Orange, Lemon, Frankincense, Sandalwood, Patchouli, Ginger, Cinnamon, Basil, Rosemary, Clary Sage, Vetiver, and Benzoin.

It was also infused with the following crystals, Tiger’s Eye, Red Aventurine, Carnelian, Citrine, Sunstone, Lemurian Jade, Charoite, Sugilite, Adamite, Moldavite, Snowflake Obsidian, Malachite, Labradorite, Pyrite, Kyanite, Kunzite, Clear Calcite, and Peridot. These were added into the bottle, to continuously charge the elixir with powerful crystal vibrations.

Colors from high energy flower and gem oils were then blended in and the elixir was nestled on a cluster of high vibration crystals with “Solfeggio Sound Frequencies”* directed at them for several days. The bottle was then transferred to a crystal cave and finally, the elixir was charged in a crystal singing bowl for greater sound and vibrational healing energies.

The development process and synergy of these elements, in harmony, with the specific intentions to energize and recharge one with confidence, positivity and self-love is what makes Sol Elixir magical. I remembered reading somewhere that aromatherapy is so powerful because of the positive effects it has on one's limbic brain when the oil is dabbed on one's pulse and chakra points.

So why have I named it Sol?

Sol or Sunna is the mythological Norse Goddess of the Sun who rode a chariot drawn on two horses called Allsvinn (Very Fast) and Arvak (Early Rising). I fell in love with this romantic mythological story of Sol and her brother, the Moon God, Mani.

In many ways, the birth of Sol Elixir marks a milestone in the transformational journey I took with the creation of Sun Goddess Tarot. When I started reading the tarot cards for clients, I went through an unbelievable process of self-healing and awareness, the way I hoped to have had provided the same for my clients.

Co-creating Sol Elixir with Helena has been a wonderful experience. She’s been an inspiration and I am very grateful for her time spent listening to ramblings about my dreams and my hopes, my thoughts about my past and my future in her bid to capture my vision of Sol Elixir.

This experience has just opened another door for me to explore my work on tarot cards combined with the energies of Sol which I believe will take Sun Goddess Tarot to a whole new level.

Postscript:

*What are Solfeggio Sound Frequencies?

In ancient times , these frequencies were sung in Gregorian chants during religious ceremonies in churches of that time. But mysteriously, around 1050 AD, they vanished and were presumed lost. These chants held special tones or frequencies which, when sung in harmony, and in Latin, were believed to impart tremendous spiritual blessings during religious masses. Apparently, the combination of these sacred tones and the Latin intonation had the power to penetrate deep into the recesses of the subconscious mind and promote greater healing and transformation.

The Solfeggio Frequencies contain the six pure tonal notes that were once used to make up the ancient musical scale. For instance, middle C is related to the 528 hz frequency tone, which is associated to the color green, which, in turn, is related to the heart chakra. (extracted from www.miraclesandinspiration.com)

Sol Elixir, like every potion that Helena concocts, contains 2 or more of these 6 frequencies to effect the highest transformational vibration of healing.

Dealing with skepticism

Yesterday, I completed tarot card readings for 42 colleagues as part of my contribution to the Children's Cancer Foundation at my company's charity bazaar.

Most of the colleagues with whom I was familiar with, who gamely stepped forward to have their tarot cards read, were the same ones who had such fantastic enthusiasm in their day-to-day work and had displayed absolutely no fear of challenges. My working experience with some of them had bore similarities to what the cards had uncovered about them - their dare-to-do personalities and their determination to ride any rough times with persistence and plenty of courage. I was also particularly glad that some of these colleagues had initially viewed my tarot cards with skepticism and even fear. Yet, they put on a brave front when they sat through a session with me, some looking like a deer in headlights. The courage to open their hearts and minds to my cards and me, was definitely deserving of my respect.

Even my CEO, surprisingly, had a reading with me. I thought that was a career-limiting move for me but I loved him for being so sporting and feeling so comfortable with it. I think I still have a job waiting for me on Monday, thank goodness.

For the enthusiastic 42 that had stepped forward, I also had 420 skeptics who thought my tarot card reading was a "hocus pocus" party trick wheeled in to entertain the lot. One of them vehemently said to me, " No, no, I only believe in God, I don't believe in this", in spite of my protests that it had absolutely no bearing on religion and no reference to spirituality. At that point, I just thought to help myself understand their fears a little better.

So this morning, I visited a "modern day alchemist" by the name of Yvette Sitten. She runs her company Aurora Alchemy which specialized in healing and activating the chakras using hand-blended essential oils, each with beautiful names like Joyful Surrender and Queen of the Night. Each of these oil blends had specific purposes of healing, providing a sense of calmness, dispelling negativity and increasing alertness and confidence.

Like many who thought my tarot card reading was a complete joke, I had initially thought Yvette had fallen straight into the looney bin one day and got out of it only to be hit by a looney truck. A session with Yvette involved tarot and oracle cards as well as healing with crystals, essential oils, hypnosis and meditation. Frankly, even I couldn't quite explain the details of her session because I only had two words in my simple mind about it - Trust and Rest. I just trusted myself in the magical hands of Yvette in that hour and a half and I came out feeling very rested. In fact when I went home, I was so exhausted that I slept all afternoon. It felt like I had never slept for a long time, with my brain actively working overtime each night racing through dreams after dreams that I could never remember when I woke up. Yet, when I went into that deep sleep this afternoon, I swear I did not have a single dream. My mind was a complete blank. And I woke up truly refreshed. Whatever Yvette did that was unexplainable and beyond the comprehension of my simple mind, I honestly didn't care. It gave me a chance to rest my mind and heal my heart so that I can take on the world again.

More importantly, I had visited Yvette with a purpose to better understand and manage the skepticism that I had faced with my tarot cards. However, I came out of my session with Yvette, unconcerned about my skeptics and more fueled with enthusiasm to help those who were opened to my tarot cards and I. Yvette herself, had to confront skepticism when she first started on her own journey. She had never looked back since.

Yvette had a great career at CNBC as a journalist and documentary film producer only to leave it all behind to pursue this new path off the beaten track after many years of research and studies. Like me, she had faced initial skepticism from family and friends and had to " do her stuff undercover" whilst at CNBC. I was luckier. I have very supportive colleagues in the company. I was invited to do tarot card reading for charity events and I got invited to more upcoming client and partner events organized by different departments too. That's why I stepped out of my visit with Yvette realizing how fortunate I was, to be able to pursue a career in marketing that I loved and enjoyed, while helping people around me with my tarot cards. What more could I ask for?

It was humbling for me to realize that with or without the skeptics, I was putting my skills to good use. The skeptics only made me stronger in my resolve to hone my skills better and build better confidence in myself.