Every evening when I arrive home after a hard day's work, there is a cacophony of happy noises ranging from Joel talking about the girls at school, David grumbling about an obnoxious client, Evelyn recounting her culinary adventures or misadventures in the kitchen and the dogs barking. I always find it comforting to hear these happy noises as I eat my dinner in front of a tv program, often emanating even more noises of its own. These noises are comforting to me. It's like coming home to the familiarity and warmth of barnyard activity at a cottage farmhouse. And it helps drown out the stress from the usual work day.
Every morning when I go to work, I hear the incessant chatter and comical bantering amongst the girls, in between countless meetings and numerous phone calls. It is very comforting to me to know that the day to day work is managed by a wonderfully tight team of staff who keep their heads above the heavy workload and embrace daily work challenges with enthusiasm and the spirit of great team work.
I look forward to our daily lunches when we saunter around Raffles Place looking for a lunch venue that allows us to tuck into food that fit whatever diet I am on at that particular time.... never mind the girls. And I absolutely love my daily coffee with the girls especially when they get the barista to personalize my coffee cup by drawing something pretty on it and signing it off with my name.
Every time a friend or stranger contacts me to discuss a personal issue he or she is facing and requests for a tarot card reading, I am happy for the opportunity to be of help and even more thankful for that trust placed on me. Whatever the outcome I had read from the cards I picked, at the end of the day, if I could provide some comfort with a listening ear, I know I have done something right for someone.
Every weekend when I visit Mom and Dad, I enjoy being doted on like a 10 year old again. I get fed with whatever Mom whips out from her fridge, I get to amuse Dad with stories of Joel's antics at school, he gets to amuse me with his old jokes re-told 117 times and I do enjoy ploughing through old photographs with them. I am thankful Mom and Dad are always there for me albeit, one snapping at me from the mahjong table, and the other barking orders at me from his wheelchair.
So when I received a letter last night from National Health Group after my mammogram, requesting that I make an appointment with the hospital to do another series of tests due to an anomaly found in the previous test results, I went into a panic. I was gripped with fear and my mind was completely filled with negativity.
I was consoled by a tiny fine print on the letter which said that the re-test was needed to ascertain cause of the anomaly and may be nothing to worry about. I couldn't help it though and I spent a sleepless night thinking about everything and everyone around me.
I was so angry with how the letter was written and the unnecessary stress it caused me last night and possibly will be causing me for the next two weeks.
I am praying the tests outcome will come up negative. However, if I am looking for any outcome at all, that letter had certainly done its job of making me feel grateful for not just living, but living very well.