My List Of Happy Soul Moments

One of my intuitive coaches Danielle Dove inspired me today when I chanced upon one of her Facebook posts.  In that post, she asked, "What's on your list of happy soul moments?"  She then posted a hand-written note which had a listing of 5 things she gave and 5 things she had received that day which she had considered as her blessings.

Writing Down My List Of Blessings

So that prompted me to write down my own list of 5 things that I had given this week, and 5 things I had received and felt were my blessings.  I spent a good 2 hours thinking through these things in my list, not because I could not find any content for that list, but more so because I had so many and did not know how to prioritise them.  So I just listed down what came into my mind first. Logically, that should be a reflection of what I was most grateful for, because they appeared first in my mind, right? A snapshot of that list is attached below.

The Harmony Between Giving And Receiving

This evening, I had the chance to re-evaluate this list and felt a-washed with a lot of gratitude because for one, the list titled "What I gave" had 5 items listed on it but the list titled "What I had received" had 6 items on it.  I made a mistake.  The rule was to only jot down 5 items on each list but I did not realise I had added in a 6th item. But was it really a mistake?  Subconsciously, I believed that my heart and mind were in consensus that I had more opportunities to receive than I had given.  I promptly made a mental note to correct that in future.

Being Present

Then something struck me as I started thinking about that list I wrote.  Much of what I had given of myself was my time and energy.   I felt the best way to ensure that I had more opportunities to give, was to draw boundaries and have the courage to say NO.  By saying NO, then I could give more of my time to being PRESENT with the people who mattered.  So this is the list of what I gave today:

1) This evening, even when I was invited to a business cocktail,  which lasted till 8pm, I drew my boundaries upfront and informed the gracious host that I had to take my leave earlier at 7.30pm as it was my "date night" with the hubby.

2) One of my friends had been going through some personal issues at home and while she needed my help and advice, I had been "very difficult to track down".  We missed calls with each other, and we could not find a time suitable to visit each other.  She even had to resort to making an appointment with me.  So this afternoon, I made time to give her a call so that I could  listen to her as she discussed her issues with me.  

3)  12 May, the hubby and I would be celebrating our 13th or 14th wedding anniversary and his 50th birthday.  I would have then just gotten back from our week long vacation in Sri Lanka, so I knew he would understand if I told him that I wanted to take the day off on his birthday so that I could spend the day with Mom instead. I wanted to be present for Mom, spoil her and pamper her, and more importantly, give her a break from taking care of Dad.

Now within these 3 scenarios, they were opportunities presented for me to give my time and energy.  Equally so, I felt that they were blessings presented to me too:

1)  I was blessed with great conversation and laughter with the hubby at our date night.

2) I was blessed with my friend's full trust in me as she poured her heart out to me about her issues.  I was privileged to be able to help her as best as I could.  Where I could not, I was glad I provided her with a listening ear.

3) I was blessed with a very understanding hubby, who knew when to give me space to bond with my Mom.  He was never possessive of my time, and ever generous with ideas about where I could take her out to lunch.  I am so excited about my day with Mom when I can bond with her over a scrumptious lunch as we laugh about my childhood days or about Dad's antics. 

So you see?  I have now got a well-balanced list of what I had given, and what I had been blessed with.  Result!

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com

My List Of Happy Soul Moments

Danielle's List Of Happy Soul Moments

Giving My Awesome Cafe A Second Chance

Another Visit To My Awesome Cafe

Last week, I wrote a blog post lamenting the need for business owners to follow through on their fabulous ideas with  great action plans right through to the flawless delivery of their services or products.   

In that post, I mentioned My Awesome Café, one of Singapore’s newest and hippest cafés that had been making waves amongst professionals working in the Central Business District who were gagging for a moment of peace and relaxation as they sipped their coffees and tucked into their awesome salads, quiche, sandwiches or desserts.  I was quite unhappy with the slow service and wrong orders that some of us had experienced.  And I swore then never to visit My Awesome Café again.

However, when it came to desserts, or broadly, when it came to any kind of food, I always broke my promises.  My personal trainer and my heart surgeon would be familiar with this.

Today, I had decided to don my rather rare but widely welcomed calm composure, and gamely paid My Awesome Café another visit.  I attributed this irrational behavior to my uncontrollable weakness for desserts, and my soft spot for the café’s intrepid owner, Franck. 

The Second Chance

The service was still slow on the second visit, even though we were there at the tail-end of the busy lunch hour and wanted to just relax into a cup of coffee and a cake.  I sauntered to the dessert shelf and Franck gave me a rundown on all his awesome desserts.  I always enjoyed talking to Franck.  When I told him I might have the "Awegasm In A Cup", he would retort smugly, " Good choice!  That would be me then." 

I mustered a lot of self-control to order only 2 types of dessert – the pineapple upside down cake which I had lovingly labelled "Sex On A Plate" and the bread and butter pudding.  Both did not disappoint.  The pineapple upside down cake in particular, was served moist and warm and had generous chunks of pineapple in it.   In fact, I regretted not ordering 2 pineapple upside down cakes.  Maybe, next time, I might even pre-order the entire tray in fact. 

I soon forgot how long it took for the coffee to arrive.   Franck was quickly forgiven.  I was too busy enjoying the desserts that I forgot to even order my own cup of coffee while the rest of the girls in my party were served theirs.  

So you see, a customer could be so easily pleased if only one thing...just one thing..could be gotten right.  In My Awesome Cafe's case, there were two. One was the awesome desserts, the other was the awesome attitude of its owner Franck who managed to explain the menu items,  engaged the customers, took their orders and cleared the tables even when faced with the mounting pressure of his kitchen staff not turning around the food service fast enough and irate customers who just did not have the time to wait for a salad.

I am sure the café will soon creep back into my list of favorite chill-out places to go again.   I promptly chided myself for expecting perfection when I was there for awesomeness.  Perhaps, I needed to learn to separate the two.

When I am braver and calmer still, I will head back there for lunch to give its signature Awesome Salad another chance too.

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader, numerologist and astrologer, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com

My Awesome Cafe's logo and vision

Sex On A Plate: Photo taken by Chia Seow Wee

Follow Through

My Uncool Experience With The Press

2 weeks ago, an embarrassing situation happened to me. I agreed to an interview with a journalist for a national newspaper on a topic close to my heart, health and wellness.  When the story was published, I was so embarrassed with the photograph they had published which depicted me in a Surya Namaskar position.  However, I did not look like a composed yoga practitioner in that photo, but more like a walrus waiting to be fed. What was worse was that the journalist was not on message and left out 99% of the content of my story to focus on my age, weight and weightloss goals.   I should have known better as a PR professional not to trust that the coverage would be aligned to my intent.  I should have followed through with questions to the journalist to ensure he understood the key messages I had expressed earlier to him.  So I blamed myself for how that story turned out. I should have followed through.

My “Un-Awesome” Experience At My Awesome Cafe

For a week now,  I had heard my team at work grumbling about one of Singapore’s hottest new cafes called My Awesome Café, that clearly did not deliver up to their promise of being awesome.   My first visit there a few weeks ago left me with a less than favorable impression of their service but an awesome impression of their desserts that came with awesome names like the rather orgasmic “Orgasm In A Cup”.  “Orgasm In A Cup” which was actually a rich chocolate pudding, could not possibly get past foreplay as it was a tiny timble-sized serving.  However, it tasted awesome.  In fact, it tasted more than awesome.   I enjoyed it so much that I went on to try the other desserts like the pineapple upside down cake.  Now, if that chocolate pudding was “Orgasm In A Cup”, the pineapple upside down cake was “Sex On A Plate”.  While I enjoyed the desserts, my “coitus interruptus” came in the form of their service.  It was painfully slow and peppered with orders that were mixed up to the chagrin of other customers that had been waiting for the last hour and a half.

Today, the team had decided to give My Awesome Café another chance and went there for lunch.  I was unfortunately bound to the stupid stationary bike at the gym, while my personal trainer brandished his whip.  I could not leave for my dose of orgasmic desserts at My Awesome Café.  So, the girls brought back a take-away box of the café’s signature Awesome salad which was supposed to come with roast chicken, duck rillette and smoked salmon on a bed of fresh greens.  I searched over and under the greens but no duck rillette could be found.  The guys at My Awesome Café must have forgotten the duck rillette and charged me the full price of $18 for that salad that was just slightly bigger than the size of a timble.  The girls also complained incessantly about the slow service and they swore never to visit the café again.

So what went wrong?

I blamed it on the lack of follow through.  The team at My Awesome Café had a great concept.  Fabulous food, gleaming smiles on the faces of the waiting staff, and a cosy rustic décor which could have been mistaken for my grandmother’s kitchen. I loved it.  However without following through on a great concept with the right number of waiting or kitchen staff that could cater to the busy lunchtime crowd in the heart of the Central Business District, I was not sure how long My Awesome Café can stay awesome.

Follow Through

The basic foundation of delivering to expectations was  really having the vision and drive to follow through.

I had a golf instructor some years back who often barked at me at the 15^thhole of the golf course when I was exhausted, hot and bothered, “Follow through on your swing, Jo.  That was a lazy swing.”  I used to think that he was just annoying and gagging to get to the beers at the clubhouse but I understood  later that that was critical to my game.

My rugby coach used to holler from the sidelines, “Follow through with the ball! Use it or lose it!”  He became my husband years later and that allowed me to use the phrase back at him when he put his dirty clothes around the laundry basket instead of putting them in the laundry basket.  I would scream at him to follow through on his promise to keep the home tidy.  So I had grown to be quite fond of the phrase.

These days, I had been using the phrase quite a lot at work too. I used it when some brilliant idiot had thought of a supposedly creative idea but left it hanging in mid-air whilst expecting a fellow  colleague to telepathically pick up on his expectations to implement  his or her supposedly creative idea without a plan, resource or budget.  Needless to say, the idea was of course implemented with the fanfare of an egg and spoon race at a kindergarten.  That was when I would bark at my loudest, “Can someone with an IQ above 7 please follow through with this idea and turn it into a viable action plan in future?”

When I mentored my students at Tarot and Numerology, we often discussed case studies on the readings they had been doing.  When I noticed that one or two of the students had provided nothing else more than a very detailed and accurate interpretations of each Tarot card that had been picked for a spread, I would encourage them to follow through with the consultation by interpreting the cards to the clients’ situations and provide clear advice and options instead so that the clients could make informed decisions on how they should be managing their respective situations.  It was very important for me that my students learnt to follow through with the intent of turning a reading into an advice-centric consultation.

I found that in spite of all the fabulous ideas and vision that many people had when they started a business, many failed miserably when it came to the “follow through”.  I have had friends who started their businesses with beautifully designed business-cards, shiny offices that were renovated by award-winning interior designers, and well-developed websites that were search-optimized and came complete with CRM capabilities.  However, they ended up spending the next year wondering why their businesses stayed stagnant.  It was so telling that they had not followed through from their initial vision to create a practical business plan that was pegged against measurable KPIs.

Take Ownership

Instead of putting the blame on others or on the lack of help, support and resource for anything that did not go as planned, I would suggest that you take ownership for your own plans, ideas and vision by ensuring that you follow through at every stage to manage your own expectations for what a successful outcome may look like to you.

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com

So embarrassing.  I looked like a walrus waiting to be fed some fish....sighhh

Orgasmic food at My Awesome Cafe Singapore.  I hope they better their service soon or else I will have to look for my orgasm from alternative sources.  Photo credit: Chia Seow Wee