Thursday, 11 June 2015

The Ties That Bind

I re-read a post that I had put up across my social media platforms a few days ago.  “For David and I companionship means that we are Team Ash and Best Friends first and spouses second.  He was my rugby coach and remained one of my biggest inspirations both on and off the rugby pitch.  That is why we even worked so well together as a sports journalism team.  When we are focused on our respective day jobs, we are each other’s mentors when work gets tough and we always pat each other on the back when we have done something fab at work.  Friedrich Nietzsche said, ‘It is not a lack of love but the lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.’”

I was rather proud of myself for writing that because it was not something I had consciously thought about. However, when I looked back on the things we did as friends about 17 years ago and then as spouses for the last 14, nothing much had quite changed whether we were single or married.  We did so many things together and were almost inseparable, like fish and chips.  I was convinced that Friendship was what glued this partnership together.

 We respected each other’s quirks and individualism.  To him, I was the “woo-woo” weirdo who flew into his life on a broom.  To me, he was the Scottish jock who couldn’t speak a word of intelligible English which helped made communication within our little familial unit much better as most of my responses were “uh-huh”.  We were inspired by each other’s gifts and saw ways to put them to positive use together, like his photography work and my writing.  We enjoyed sports.  Ok let me be specific.  He enjoyed the excitement of the games played in some of his favorite sports and I enjoyed looking at some of the blokes who played those sports. We always found things to talk about beyond our respective jobs simply because we both led lives that revolved around a variety of interests.  We understood what was important to each other and made these an important part of our own lives, which brings me to the topic of Joel.

You see, David is more than a step-Dad to Joel.  If he had just depended on his role as a step-Dad to cement that relationship with Joel, they wouldn’t have been as close as they are today.  Again, the glue that helped to foster that closeness between step-dad and step-son was not this father-son relationship but Friendship.  They did things together as friends, he gave advice to Joel as a friend would and they had numerous man-to-man chats as friends that I wasn’t allowed to be part of. When one made a mistake, they helped to cover each other’s tracks…literally.  Once David finished a photography assignment at the rugby pitch when it was raining very heavily.  He left a muddy trail across my living room after hauling the photography equipment in.  When I got home from work, Joel said “It’s that stupid dog again. He’s been playing out in the rain.” 

So you see, my home is a regular YMCA. It’s a home that’s deeply entrenched in the belief that the strong bonds of true friendship, inspired by trust, honesty and opened communication is what makes this a strong family unit. 

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from  She is passionate about Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

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