Cruising To A New Sunrise

A Vacation With The Extended Family

 
When Mom broached the subject of an extended family vacation on the Royal Caribbean – Mariner of the Seas for 5 days, I spent 2 weeks mulling about spending my precious leave days from work stuck in a cruise ship.  My thoughts on the first week was focused on the possibility and ease at which I could jump overboard and swim back to shore should the need arise.  The second week was dedicated to research about the facilities and activities on the ship which could allow me to have adequate me time away from the claustrophobia I might feel from being restricted to the space within the ship as well as  the disdain I felt about being immersed in a crowd of tourists queuing at the dining room entrance an hour before meal times, reserving deck chairs with their towels at 5am in the morning,  and stacking their plates with dessert, appetizer and main course all at once.

 
It did not help Mom’s case about this vacation when she sold it in this manner, “I booked you and I on a cruise with the family because if you come along, I get 50% discount on the price as I am a ‘senior citizen’.  So you must come ah!”
 

Obediently, I applied for leave from work and assured my men at home that the only reason I was leaving them behind was that they were not senior citizens.

 

Determined To Enjoy The Cruise

 
I was determined to enjoy my first experience on the cruise.  The friendly crew from the State Room attendant right through to the waiting staff at the restaurants went above and beyond to delight the guests, so it was not difficult to relax into a daily routine of enjoying the copious amount of food served 24 hours a day, and the professionally produced staged shows each night.  Several bars were dotted conveniently at each deck of the ship, in case I was driven to drink while managing conversations as civilly as possible with an uncle who had an EQ of 0. 

 
I was also cognizant of the fact that with an 86 year old grandmother in tow, I had the responsibility of ensuring that she enjoyed every minute of that vacation time with the family.  Mom often whispered to me as she kept me in check when I felt annoyed enough to want to hit that 0-EQ Uncle on the head with my shoe, “How much more time does Granny have with us? Please think twice before you say anything stupid.”

  

Family Time

 As we sailed across the Malacca Straits into the Andaman Sea, I woke up each morning at 5am to capture the Sunrise, and left our dinner table abruptly each evening at 6pm to capture the Sunset. I spent most of the mornings perfecting a selfie against the backdrop of the emerald-green waters of the ocean.  I wheeled Granny into the Casino to watch her operate the jackpot machine like a rabid Pilot on the computer dashboard of the Starship Enterprise.  I strolled with Mom along the jogging path on the deck whilst listening to a lengthy lecture on sun-damaged skin and ageing. I shared jokes with my other 2 favorite uncles who were gifted with higher EQ than the eldest one.
 

I did not have a chance to embark on my daily gym routine although the ship had a huge gym filled with state-of-the-art equipment because I did not fancy spending an hour working out, only to spend another 3 hours trying to hunt down the rest of the family throughout the ship after. I was all kitted up and ready for my sunset rock-wall-climbing experience but Mom was more interested in lining up for a chicken roll and a slice of pizza at the 24-hour café.  So I decided that spending time with Mom having a good chat over a cup of tea while she polished several chicken rolls and slices of pizza was more important.   I registered for yoga classes early in the morning but decided  that sitting out on our balcony with Mom to discuss the important topic of what shapes the clouds made, was more fun.  I was prepared to spend my day enjoying a half-empty ship as the rest of the guests disembark for their shore excursion in Phuket one day. As my son aptly put it across Facebook one day, “For Mom, a HAPPY CRUISE IS AN EMPTY CRUISE.”  However, I decided to disembark the ship in the afternoon to take my Mom out for a little shopping trip in Patong Beach, Phuket, and we enjoyed the ubiquitous Thai fare of Pad Thai and Boat Noodles before returning to the ship.

 
Throughout the cruise, I hardly had any Me Time as I tried to “stick with the program” to spend more quality time with my extended family. So when I returned from the cruise, a friend said in surprise, “What? You packed for a vacation with the intention to spend more time in the gym each day to get fitter, do your sprints around the track, attend yoga and pilates classes and get in some massage time but you did none of these! What exactly were you doing for 5 days?”

 

Chasing A New Sunrise

 
I reflected on my experience during the cruise and realized that the reason I had initial doubts and skepticism about this vacation was because I had been chasing my sunrise and sunsets in a wrong way. 

 
I was focused on the superficial aspects of special moments that I was expecting to enjoy, like waking up at 5am to wait for the sunrise. However, I forgot about the miracle behind a sunrise and the fact that the sunrise each day, actually looked very different from each other, beckoning me to see each day as a gift and an opportunity to start anew.
 

This vacation was not about spending more time with an 86 year old Granny who might have so little time left with us.  It was about reconnecting with the grand dame of the family who had planted the roots of piety, familial love, and resilience in the ground for my mother’s generation, my generation and the generation after.  That was an invaluable lesson in committing to celebrate our family’s past, present and future.

 
It was not about having to manage verbal altercations with my eldest Uncle who had very little social aptitude.  It was about the fun and jokes my other uncles and I shared across the dinner table, having a hearty laugh at my eldest uncle’s callous retorts that he had often dished out irrationally.  That was an invaluable lesson in diffusing tension and managing the dynamics of interpersonal relationships.
 

It was not about how much time I spent with Mom throughout the vacation.  It was all about the quality time spent having meaningful conversations with her during the cruise, sharing our thoughts, fears and memories.  This was an invaluable lesson in the need for me to make the effort to continue having more meaningful conversations with her even after the vacation.  Acknowledging that I spent little time with her every week, I was committed to ensure that each moment I spent with her would be one where I was fully present.

 

Coming Home To New Perspectives

 
On the last day of the cruise, as my ship pulled into Singapore waters and the skyline of the central business district came into full view, adorned with a spectacular sunrise, I began to see this wonderfully quirky extended family in a new light. We all came together, whatever differences we had as a family, and whatever expectations we had about the cruise.  What pulled us together was the fact that we celebrated a priceless moment together as a family.  We might sometimes fight, and we might sometimes not speak to each other, or we might each hold stubbornly strong to our respective opinions.  However, nothing could change the fact that we were a closely-knitted family. 

 
How could I ask for anyone within the family to change, including my uncle with 0 EQ? I will always love them for who they are.  Every day, I celebrate a new sunrise, and like a new sunrise, I am grateful for the opportunity to feel the warmth and love within this family.

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

Celebrate Real Moments In 2016

Resolutions

 
Everyone I know, seemed to have armed themselves with a well thought through resolution to kick start the New Year with.  I have friends who are already in the midst of working on their respective resolutions.  One of them took up water painting, another decided to step up her fitness regime with supposedly the latest and greatest fitness plan.  Yet another one had decided to de-clutter and went on a spree to throw out everything useless that she had hoarded over the years including facebook friends and a boyfriend. 

 

I thought hard about a resolution.  I did not quite have one because I was already on a fitness regime. I did not hoard anything apart from shoes which really, isn’t hoarding.  They are a necessity. I was doing what I could to save money and be more prudent with my spending.  I lead a fairly well-balanced life between work and personal commitments and I did have some hobbies.

 

However, if I thought about a word that could guide what I wanted to experience this New Year, I thought of the word Celebrate.

 

Reprioritization

 

 

Last year, my year was very much about health and fitness. After a spate of surgeries and health scares, I threw myself into a rabid regime that saw me working out every day under the supervision of specialized trainers. Health and fitness became a way of life for me.  I was more conscious about what I ate, how much rest I had, and intensity of my fitness regime. Indeed I prioritized my health and fitness above everything else and struck a fine balance in the way I invested my time and energy at work and at the gym.  I chose to reprioritize my life to take care of myself better, and I believed I had done a remarkable job with that.

 

However, the impetus to take care of myself was not the only factor that led to the re-adjustment of my priorities.  2015 saw the passing of my Dad, the enlistment of Joel into the army, and restructuring within my team at work.

 

These, quite abruptly forced me into the unfamiliar territory of needing to let go.  As one who took charge and controlled almost everything in my life, learning to let go was difficult, but I adapted to the situations by readjusting my priorities once again.

 

When I once defined my life with my career, I now defined it by how well my family was taken care of and how much time I could spend with them.  That would explain my frequent travels with David to support his sports photography work by teaming up with him as his writer.  I turned down a lot of social engagements and tarot reading and teaching opportunities over the weekends to spend time with my family.  Having lunch with Mom and attending mass with Joel every Sunday were important rituals for me.  My family came first.

 

So 2015 was a year I acknowledged what mattered to me most and shifted my priorities accordingly.

 

What then, would be my theme for 2016?

 

Celebrate

 

Naturally, the only thing that could evolve from a fairly eventful 2015 that forced me to reprioritize my life was to celebrate each moment and each experience, no matter how big or small, no matter how good or bad.

 

When Dad passed on, I shifted my perception of his passing, from one of loss to one that celebrated his life and his love.


When Mom was anxious about Granny's frailty,  I thought about how we had celebrated Granny's 85th birthday recently and she still looked fabulous for her age. I hope that when I do reach 85 years of age, I would look like her.  Granny was a woman  full of courage and if you had heard her stories, even you would  celebrate Granny's life full of adventures.
 

When Joel enlisted into the army, I was worried about his lack of fitness and possible inability to adjust to a new life in the army.  However when I saw him enjoying army life, making new friends, learning new skills and coming home fitter each weekend, I shifted that perception from one of worry to pride.  And I celebrated Joel’s courage, openness and sense of adventure.

 

When I was forced to restructure my department and I lost 2 staff in the process, I shifted my perception of that loss to one that celebrated the opportunity for these team members to develop new skills and be exposed to a wider scope of work. 

 

When David and I started getting more involved in sports photography and sports journalism beyond combat sports, we got the opportunity to do even more exciting work at the  2015 SEA Games and the 2015 Asian Para Games. Even though our free time had been reduced significantly, these assignments pulled us closer together as a couple.  I celebrated the closer relationship fostered because we worked the beat as Team Ash and will continue to do so.

 

My theme for 2016 then, would be Celebrate.  I am more than ready to celebrate the good times and will be just as ready to celebrate difficult ones.  I celebrate family and good friends, the close relationships we foster and the spats and squabbles we may have. In fact, I started the year off by paying a long overdue visit to Granny's hometown of Kuching in Sarawak and reconnected with my extended family whom I had not seen in more than 40 years.  Now that deserved a celebration.

 I celebrate every moment, how big or how small because these are all opportunities to enrich my life this year.

 

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.