My Brother And I

My Brother

 

My brother is a funny character. He lived in my shadows as a kid trying to be like his sister, but I used to toss him aside like a rag doll because to me, he was a pain in my butt. I thought my parents doted on him more than they did me. He was like the quintessential hallmark of an Asian home - the much needed boy in the family to carry on the family name.

 

We Are So Different

 

So we grew up pretty much apart not just because we were 11 years apart in age but because I felt he was loved more than I was, I grew up as an over-achiever, attempting to prove my worth through my grades at school and at piano exams, and through each successful milestone in my career.   My brother's grades at school was less than stellar.  His earlier career stints were lack-lustre. I brought home trophies and certificates of achievements. He would be lucky if he remembered to bring home his pencil case.  I was notorious for being the school bully. He brought home complaints about being bullied in school.  When I signed up to be in the pioneer batch of the  non-uniform military officers program at the army more than 25 years ago, I went head-on into a life of discipline, camaraderie with my mates in the army and plenty of physical activity.  Apart from failing topography, I did enjoy that short stint in the army.  When my brother got enlisted into national service, the first thing he asked was, "Will there be an umbrella provided in the full pack?"

 

My Brother’s Love For Life

 

I realised through time that my parents never loved me any more or less. As parents, they just strove to provide my brother and I with whatever was needed so that we could live life with a purpose.  As time passed and eased that age gap a little more, I also noticed that my brother was just happy being himself, living life not with the intent of proving anything. He just wanted to enjoy every moment that life had to offer. 

 

Appreciating Our Differences

 

We weren't brought up any differently. We were just different.  Our perspectives on life were different.  My brother never took life too seriously, but to me, every minute wasted in useless banter, was a minute wasted in what I could do, earn or gain. 

  

My brother was happy just being himself. He walked through life enjoying every minute of it through food and travel. In fact, he actually ate the world.  Every city he travelled to outside of Singapore, and every neighbourhood he visited in Singapore were all driven by his love for food.  Food and travel were a nuisance to me. I agonised about the hassles of travel.  I worried incessantly about the amount of calories, fat content, and nutritional value of everything I ate. I used to think traveling was a waste of time and I wouldn't do so unless there was a purpose, be it work, writing assignments, workshops that I had to conduct, or for boxing or Muay Thai training.  When friends asked if I had gone on a vacation. I did not understand what that word meant.  While I lived to work, my brother on the other hand worked to live. 

 

 

I haven't quite lived and I haven't quite embraced the love for life till very recently when I grew up enough to let go of that ego that had shaped me since I was young. Through new glasses of maturity, I had come to accept that it was okay for my brother and I to view the world with different perspectives and celebrate life in our different ways.

 

Our New Blog

 

So I started a new blog, with the help of my brother. It is a blog that represents the different ways we both enjoy a common obsession - Food. Although we are siblings who grew up 11 years apart, shaped by differing experiences to see the world from different perspectives, we celebrate our passion for life with our common love for food.  However, our attitudes to food are quite different and the way we celebrate our love for food are also quite different.
 

Jerome lives to eat and hoovers everything edible that crosses his path.  As he shovels food into his mouth with that fork in his right hand, he takes photographs of what he eats, and posts pictures and notes up on Facebook with his left.  Often, his beautifully written prose about what he had eaten would be 7 paragraphs in length and would not have any punctuations in between because he had been too busy multi-tasking. 

I, on the other hand, eat to live. It is not just about my attempts to eat healthily. As I am a “cam-whore” and “social media hussy”, I spend about half an hour styling my food, taking photographs, writing notes and posting them across my social media platforms before eating them, right after the hubby has paid for the bill and is about to head out of the restaurant.  I enjoy reading all my posts about what I had eaten because I know that I had lived fully in spite of watching what I eat. 

 

It took me 35 years, to finally learn how to live life with genuine passion from my brother who does it better than I do.

 

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

Things Worth Celebrating

Things Worth Celebrating

I came across The Petite Cadeau’s blog post calling for participation in their linky blog party themed “Things Worth Celebrating”.  I got really excited about it and started putting the word out to fellow blogging friends egging them on to participate in it too.

My enthusiasm stemmed from the numerous magical things that had happened to me in the last few months.  These were things worth celebrating:

• Dad recovered very quickly from his stroke, enough to get discharged on Christmas Eve.  I could never enjoy a Christmas party without him.  Having him there at my Christmas party was the best present I have ever had.

• My business, Sun Goddess Tarot saw a remarkable growth in reputation and clientele.  The breadth of work I have been doing with my business expanded to teaching Tarot and Numerology, and conducting corporate workshops on these subjects.  I had even delivered my first presentation to an international Tarot audience at a conference, sharing my experience on marketing strategies for Tarot businesses.

• Over and on top of running Sun Goddess Tarot, I have a full-time job doing what I  loved  to do  – Marketing and Public Relations.  The best thing about that job was my ability to guide the team at work to create a marketing and public relations machinery within the company that had been regarded by the management as a highly efficient team.  I loved mentoring.  My marketing and public relations experience has happily allowed both my day job and my business to co-exist synergistically.  What is even more amazing is that this evening, because of the sheer hard work of my team, the company won a Bronze award for the best product launch PR campaign at the inaugural Singapore PR Awards 2014.  It was the first time, the company garnered an award for PR in more than 80 years of history.  I was mighty chuffed.

• My son Joel finally accepted that going to nursing school might potentially have limitless possibilities for his future.  He need not have been worried that he would be labeled as Gaylord Focker.  Hence, he had been putting his whole heart and soul into his nursing course, and surprising me every now and then with excellent grades in some of his test papers or projects.

• My husband David turned his passion for photography into a little business as well, much like what I did with Tarot and Numerology.  Through sheer hard work, he had managed to establish a reputation for himself as an events photographer specializing in sports and rock concerts.

The list of things worth celebrating was by no means exhaustive.  These were just some of the key highlights of the last few months.  If I had a lot of time to table all things worth celebrating in detail, a single blog post would not have done it justice.

So, I reviewed once again the mental list of things worth celebrating in my head and realized that what was truly worth celebrating was really, my family.

Here’s What ‘s Truly Worth Celebrating

You see, for all the work and business achievements that were well within my control  because I steered the daily outcomes through team work and effort,  the quirky differences of each of my family members were another matter altogether.  

I found the annoying differences, and the idiosyncrasies  of each and every close family member quite endearing, and they did add even more color to my life.    I often looked to the bosses and colleagues at work, and even clients  for whom I did my Tarot and Numerology readings, for inspiration.  However, right before my eyes, my family members were my greatest inspiration.

• How many times have I called Mum crazy although all she wanted to do was, in her loopy ways, nurture and provide us with as much love as she could?  When she cooked our favorite food, often she modified them with no salt, no oil, no taste, just to help me manage my hypertension. When I was about to reach out for a pinch of salt, she growled at me like a cornered bear. – I celebrate Mum’s Love.

• How many times  I had thought Dad looked defeated by his stroke and dementia?  When I talked to him about his old friends, he could remember all their names.  When I reminded him about his old jokes, he would laugh heartily. He may be weaker from stroke and dementia, but certainly not defeated.  – I celebrate Dad’s indomitable spirit.

• How many times I had thought Joel lacked ambition and determination?  When Joel found joy in talking to his patients at the hospital,  or when he recounted how he helped processed the “last office” of an AIDs patient and felt gratified that the patient did not die alone as Joel was with him, I was pleasantly surprised. – I celebrate Joel’s determination.

• How many times I had thought David was an unromantic Scotsman who would rather club me on the head and haul me into the cave rather than take me out to a nice expensive candlelight dinner?  I was rampaging through my handbag today and found a crumpled little square corner of a serviette.  On it was a drawing of a cute teddy bear which he drew and it said “I love you”.  When I was clearing my camera roll in my Iphone, I came across a photograph of a cup of coffee taken one morning a long time ago.  On it was a heart shape drawn by him across the foam.  As I had been invited to do Tarot readings at the ELLE Singapore event last week, I wore a bracelet accessorized by charms that had Tarot images on it.   I remembered that David got that for me as a present, even when he was vocal with his skepticism about my metaphysical practice and often asked me where I had parked my broom. - I celebrate David's quiet romanticism.

Gratitude

Have you seen that animated movie "Brave" which detailed the adventures of a Scottish princess, Marida,  who  unintentionally  hired a witch to cast a spell on her mother to transform her into a bear just because her one wish was that her "mother would change"?  

I may have more nuts in my family than a fruitcake but I would not want them to change in any way.  Just a handful of people with their little idiosyncrasies could have a major impact on my life and me.

Wouldn’t you agree, they are truly worth celebrating?  To read about the things worth celebrating from the perspective of my fellow bloggers, please visit:  http://www.thepetitcadeau.com/p/things-worth-celebrating.html



About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.

Things Worth Celebrating

The loony Ash Family