My List Of Happy Soul Moments

One of my intuitive coaches Danielle Dove inspired me today when I chanced upon one of her Facebook posts.  In that post, she asked, "What's on your list of happy soul moments?"  She then posted a hand-written note which had a listing of 5 things she gave and 5 things she had received that day which she had considered as her blessings.

Writing Down My List Of Blessings

So that prompted me to write down my own list of 5 things that I had given this week, and 5 things I had received and felt were my blessings.  I spent a good 2 hours thinking through these things in my list, not because I could not find any content for that list, but more so because I had so many and did not know how to prioritise them.  So I just listed down what came into my mind first. Logically, that should be a reflection of what I was most grateful for, because they appeared first in my mind, right? A snapshot of that list is attached below.

The Harmony Between Giving And Receiving

This evening, I had the chance to re-evaluate this list and felt a-washed with a lot of gratitude because for one, the list titled "What I gave" had 5 items listed on it but the list titled "What I had received" had 6 items on it.  I made a mistake.  The rule was to only jot down 5 items on each list but I did not realise I had added in a 6th item. But was it really a mistake?  Subconsciously, I believed that my heart and mind were in consensus that I had more opportunities to receive than I had given.  I promptly made a mental note to correct that in future.

Being Present

Then something struck me as I started thinking about that list I wrote.  Much of what I had given of myself was my time and energy.   I felt the best way to ensure that I had more opportunities to give, was to draw boundaries and have the courage to say NO.  By saying NO, then I could give more of my time to being PRESENT with the people who mattered.  So this is the list of what I gave today:

1) This evening, even when I was invited to a business cocktail,  which lasted till 8pm, I drew my boundaries upfront and informed the gracious host that I had to take my leave earlier at 7.30pm as it was my "date night" with the hubby.

2) One of my friends had been going through some personal issues at home and while she needed my help and advice, I had been "very difficult to track down".  We missed calls with each other, and we could not find a time suitable to visit each other.  She even had to resort to making an appointment with me.  So this afternoon, I made time to give her a call so that I could  listen to her as she discussed her issues with me.  

3)  12 May, the hubby and I would be celebrating our 13th or 14th wedding anniversary and his 50th birthday.  I would have then just gotten back from our week long vacation in Sri Lanka, so I knew he would understand if I told him that I wanted to take the day off on his birthday so that I could spend the day with Mom instead. I wanted to be present for Mom, spoil her and pamper her, and more importantly, give her a break from taking care of Dad.

Now within these 3 scenarios, they were opportunities presented for me to give my time and energy.  Equally so, I felt that they were blessings presented to me too:

1)  I was blessed with great conversation and laughter with the hubby at our date night.

2) I was blessed with my friend's full trust in me as she poured her heart out to me about her issues.  I was privileged to be able to help her as best as I could.  Where I could not, I was glad I provided her with a listening ear.

3) I was blessed with a very understanding hubby, who knew when to give me space to bond with my Mom.  He was never possessive of my time, and ever generous with ideas about where I could take her out to lunch.  I am so excited about my day with Mom when I can bond with her over a scrumptious lunch as we laugh about my childhood days or about Dad's antics. 

So you see?  I have now got a well-balanced list of what I had given, and what I had been blessed with.  Result!

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com

My List Of Happy Soul Moments

Danielle's List Of Happy Soul Moments

The New Domestic Goddess

The Working Mother Without A Home Portfolio

I felt quite disturbed by the fact that while my sunny disposition had given me the moniker of Sun Goddess, my culinary and housekeeping skills had not framed me as a Domestic Goddess.  For years, I had been whipping up delectable dishes for my men  from an unrivalled roast leg of lamb, to a power-packed Peranakan chicken curry that was considered the best in Singapore, Johore and some say Batam too.  I had been picking up their laundry to put back into the laundry basket, instead of having dirty laundry decorate the floor around the basket.  I had even walked the dogs when the both of them pretended to snooze like the annoying  passengers  who occupied the seats for the disabled in a crowded train. 

Yet, I was not known  as  a Domestic Goddess!  I found myself unfairly dismissed as the “Working Mother Without A Home Portfolio”, much like a “Minister Without Portfolio” when the latter had been put on the roll-call of cabinet personnel bound for that invitation list of the next civil service retirement party.

The Housekeeper Is On Vacation


Okay, I should admit that my multi-talented  housekeeper Evelyn, with her cooking, baking, sewing, housekeeping skills and uncanny ability to burp while she brushes her teeth in the morning, had  rendered me rather useless for the last 8 years.  Evelyn is a key member of my family, and possibly the designated Chief Operations Officer of the Ash household.   David, Joel and I would be lost without Evelyn.  David would not know where he had kept his camera equipment, Joel could never find his shoes and I would not know how the kitchen appliances work without her. 

Evelyn is about to leave for a 3 week vacation back to her home country in the Philippines, and my men are frantic, treating her impending absence as a major disaster.  When I told them that I would be in charge of the kitchen for the next 3 weeks, I was dismayed to see horror registered on their faces.


The Domestic Goddess

For the next 3 weeks, I am determined to prove to my men that I am not only the Sun Goddess, but I am the Domestic Goddess too.  I have delegated the laundry, garbage and bathroom duties to David, and Joel will be official care-taker of the mutts.  The kitchen is of course, my domain. 

My biggest project is the annual traditional family Christmas Eve dinner when I will be expecting about 25 of my extended family members at my home to celebrate the yuletide season with us.  Yes, I will be cooking.  I was not too ambitious so I had the chef at one of my favourite restaurants prepare the roast turkey with figs and chestnut stuffing.  I did not know what a fig looks like you see.  However, I will be cooking the rest of the meal which will include a grilled salmon with lemon, mint and parsley, roast potatoes and parsnips with rosemary, a seafood salad  with raspberry vinaigrette and a shepherd’s pie.    Thank goodness Uncle Winston will be bringing a cake. 


Get Off The Speed-Dial

I cannot wait to prove to my men that I can actually cook and clean on top of managing the marketing and PR projects at work and reading Tarot cards for clients.  The world is filled with so many multi-talented working mothers.  I could be one too.  I just wished David and Joel had more faith in me.  As I was writing this blog post, I spotted them attaching  Pizza Hut’s and McDonald’s flyers on the refrigerator door and putting their numbers on speed-dial.


About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.

Joel - attempting to get acquainted with the mop.

Bailey - getting acquainted with the toilet brush