The Importance Of Doing Nothing

Mother and Daughter Roadtrip

The last time Mom and I did a roadtrip together, was about 2 years ago when we travelled to Kuching and Sibu in Sarawak.  There, I got to reunite with my aunts, and members of my Kuching family whom I had not met since I was a child.  We revisited old family history when Mom shared with me stories about her grandparents and life in Kuching and Sibu.

During that trip we ate the entire Kuching and Sibu, enjoyed a good laugh and long chats over family reunion meals, explored caves, trek forests and streams, hunted orang-utans (with the camera)  and visited markets. We had so much fun and that was definitely a meaningful trip, particularly when I got better insights into my family history.   More on that trip here:  http://thecrazyangmoandhisangrywife.blogspot.com/2016/01/a-road-trip-with-mom-to-rediscover-my.html

 A Peace Of Pairadise

2 weeks ago, Mom and I embarked on yet another roadtrip.  We decided to change the game abit and travel to parts unknown.  So Pai, about 3 hours up north from Chiangmai was the choice of our mother-daughter roadtrip. 

Pai, known for its wide expanse of rice fields, scenic mountains, fresh air, backpackers and backpackers with bandaged legs and arms from bike accidents was definitely a piece of paradise found.

Before the trip, the control-freak in me planned everything from booking a 5-star hotel because I was not keen on slumming it in a bug-infested hut with no air conditioner, right down to the private driver that I hired to transport us from Chiangmai airport through the 762 dangerous twist and turns up the mountain into Pai.  Yes I am a princess like that.  I did not want to start my vacation with bed bugs or a helicopter extricating my body from the depths of the ravine along the way to Pai.

I even had an itinerary drawn up with places in Pai to visit, like the Pai Canyon where we could view the exquisite sunset, the refreshing waterfalls where we could cool off from the summer weather, and the picturesque rice fields where I could practise my photography skills with the new camera bought for me by the hubby from Toys R Us.

The Importance Of Doing Nothing

That week of pre-trip research would have been better spent getting my motorbike licence because apart from the hotel and my driver, we did nothing touristy that I had planned in my itinerary.  In fact, because we did nothing, Mom cooed, ” This is my favourite vacation.  I had the most fun in my entire life.”

It made me think about the importance of doing nothing.

My routine back home, on work days, had always been an endless cycle of work before 8am, gym at lunchtime, or lunch meetings sometimes, back to back meetings, conference calls, gym again after work, consultation sessions with my clients and back home late at night to wolf down a light dinner.  This routine is set on repeat again the next day.  On weekends, apart from a yoga session, I focus my time on the family, juggling commitments between joining Joel at the gym, helping David with his photography work, visiting Mom and taking the dogs out for a run. 

I had absolutely no time for me.  My me times were specifically spent with my boxing, strength and conditioning and yoga coaches.  And when I viewed that from a different perspective, I realized I was truly exhausted.  I needed recovery.  I did not know how to recover.  Sleep was not recovery when I had troubled sleep spent thinking about my schedule and plans for the next day.  

Desperately, my body, mind and spirit were crying out for rest and recovery.  Mom had always told me to take a break but my usual response was, “I rest when I am dead.”

It was rainy season in Pai.  This trip was planned at a good time believe it or not.    It rained every day without fail. From the patio at our hotel room where we hung out most each day, we could see that the rain cast a mysterious mist across the mountains in the horizon and formed ripples in our pool. It was therapeutic to watch.  Time actually slowed down for us in Pai as we sat and watched the rain.

We did not rush to go to a tourist spot, whether it was the canyon, waterfalls or the famous memorial bridge.  We figured that we could see them from the web, so why bother right? We just went with the flow.  We spent a lot of time at the Pai Walking Street, lounging at cafes, people watching, sampling street food, watching impromptu street performances by the students from the Pai Circus School, striking conversations with backpackers, some who had been there a day but stayed on for 2 years, and taking photos of everything that were not really touristy, but I found interesting.

We signed up for a lesson at the Pai Cookery School, cooking red curry, Pad Thai and Chicken with Cashew Nuts, and had a great time laughing over my lack of kitchen skills.  What I would usually render as inedible when it was cooked by myself, was actually made edible by Gaew, my cookery teacher.  Mom was useless.  She did not help me at all, because she was busy trying to buy Gaew’s entire kitchen, from the pots and pans to the Tamarind-wood chopping board to the set of knives!

So apart from perspiring during the wee stint at the cookery school and that walk up and down the walking street, we really got to enjoy the art of doing nothing.

Here are some other ways we did nothing:

·     Yoga – Sat and watched the sunrise, then stretched for abit before breakfast.

·     Culinary Adventures – Hopping from pushcart to pushcart along walking street to sample streetfood.

·     Trek through the mountains – Took photos of the 762 twists and turns on the way up the mountain from our mini van.

·     Cookery School – Feigned ignorance and made the cookery teacher cook most of my dishes.

·     Enjoy cultural activities – Booked a masseuse auditioning for WWE for a Thai massage and foot reflexology.

·     Tucked into indigenous Thai food – Took photos of  bamboo worms, skewered scorpions, crocodile, ostrich and deer meat from afar.

·     Experienced Thai unique architecture – Sent Mom whose afraid of heights, across the Pai Bamboo Bridge so I could take videos for a laugh.

There must be some science to the art of doing nothing because this was the only vacation I had taken where I felt fully recharged and ready to go back to work to reactivate my mind.  I felt refreshed and my body was ready to hit the gym for an intense workout to burn off my 2 weeks worth of Som Tam and Pad Thai. I felt completely ready to be present for the rest of my family when I headed back to Singapore.

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  She is a passionate observer of life bent on inspiring others to live life positively through her writing by combing through moments worth celebrating every day.   Due to her ardent love for sports especially boxing and MMA, she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing articles to several sports media when time permits.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She enjoys Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

Making Peace With My Inner Child

I did not like kids. They were tiresome, demanding, and often a potential liability in a way that required my making plans around them.  When Joel was little, I was every parent’s nightmare when it came to my turn to babysit the children or do the school run.  My way of entertaining these kids was to feed them with a buffet of sweets, chocolates, crisps and lots of fizzy drinks while I did my aerobics in front of the TV.

 

On days I hosted the baby group, I would have some of these kids’ parents calling me at night to complain that their children were hyperactive from the sugar overload or had lost their appetite for dinner. 

 

My Weekend Getaway

 

When the girls at work planned a weekend getaway in Malacca recently, I was informed that Susan was going to have her daughter, Sophie, come along with us. I was worried initially.  A weekend trip away with the girls always meant miles of walking, eating lots of spicy Malaysian food, and plenty of coffee stops.  “Did that sound kid-friendly to you, Susan?”  I thought.

 

I decided to keep my mind open.  A 5-hour bus ride to Malacca could be a nightmare with her running up and down the aisle of the bus with little or no chance of me gagging and tying her to the roof of the bus.  I decided, the fizzy drinks, sweets, chocolates and crisps tactic would not work if I wanted to have a peaceful nap for 5 hours.

 

Well, I was wrong about kids.  At least, I was wrong about this kid.  I did have a peaceful bus-ride.  I did have a weekend filled with so much fun and laughter. I did walk miles, shopped and ate plenty of spicy Malaysian food, with little Sophie in tow.

 

Little Miss Sunshine

 

After a great weekend, my post-vacation blues really was not inspired about missing Malacca, its food, its café culture and its history.  I realized it was inspired by my missing Sophie.  And here’s why.

 

Sophie sprinkled a lot of sunshine throughout our trip.  She made us laugh with her antics, especially when she choreographed her special “jelly dance” to entertain us.   She chattered non-stop, and every opinion from her was made from the observation of a pure and innocent heart of a child. 

 

Her inquisitive nature inspired her to ask many questions.  I saw her learning new things, shaping her perceptions with everything she touched, heard and experienced.

 

She taught us to let our hair down, and look at everything and everyone around Malacca through the eyes of a child.  From that vantage point, we saw everything from a fresh perspective.  A wall mural was not just a wall mural.  We played with it and engaged with a piece of art on the wall just to have a wee bit of fun.

 

We became children again.  We visited the Mamee Cup Noodle factory on Jonker street, decorated our own cups and customized our own cup noodle ingredients.  It was like a school excursion.

 

We were not fussy about sticking to the breakfast, lunch and dinner routine.  We ate when we wanted to eat and with an adventurous spirit, tried all kinds of food that I would otherwise not have tried. 

 

Sophie’s love for life, inspired us to live the moment, enjoy the now, appreciate every little thing around us. Without her, I would be spending the trip checking my emails every hour on the hour like I usually did when I travelled.

 

I was grateful for Little Miss Sunshine’s presence throughout our weekend getaway.  Sometimes, children can teach us so much more than we would ever admit.  The most important lesson from her for me, was that, if I wanted to live the moment and truly love my life, I needed to start with an open mind.

 

 

Postscript:  Now I would usually have thought that I  had lost my mind to be drawing something like this together with Sophie during our bus-ride home from Malacca. However, on looking back at it,  this was to me, our most beautiful piece of artwork together!

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

 

 

A Road Trip With Mom To Rediscover My Roots

Mom and I are currently on vacation together in Sarawak. It was Mom's idea to reacquaint me back to my family roots because Granny was originally from Kuching and Mom had spent her days as a little girl in Sibu and Kuching.

Our trip was a whirlwind of visits with so many relatives, some I never knew I had. 

In Sibu, I got to visit Uncle Cameron and Aunty Shirley and realised Uncle Cameron had a crazier hobby than I had.   He collected replica guns and rifles and all sorts of military paraphernalia.

With Uncle Cameron and Aunty Shirley

Uncle Cameron's collection of military paraphernalia 

I visited a grand aunt who at her age, had remembered me, but I could not remember her. It was so embarrassing.

My Grand Aunt from Sibu

And I met another Uncle and his Wife. He also has as crazy a hobby as I have. He rears fighting cocks.   

Uncle Ah Siong and his Wife 

Uncle Ah Siong's er..pet fighting cocks

In Kuching, my aunts were our tour guides.

With Aunty Ah Meng and Aunty Sharon.  Without them and their trusty little old car, Mom and I would be quite lost.

As I had visited Kuching with Mom and Granny when I was 4 years old, I still had vivid memories of my grand uncle's home, running around his huge compound and  watching him tend to his orchids.  Grand Uncle often brought me out for walks by the river too.  Returning to grand uncle's home today opened the floodgates of memories for Mom and I.

At the veranda of Granduncle's home..same spot, same person, 40 odd years apart.

             Granduncle's home

We took the opportunity to see the rest of Kuching.  Many places that my aunts took us to was a first for me.

At Ching San Buddhist Temple. Granduncle and Grandaunt took Mom here often when she was younger.

Admiring the waterfall at the temple grounds

At Kubah National Park. I love the smell of the forests.

 For Mom, I was glad some of the places we visited was a first for her.

Kubah National Park

Tengah Air

Textile Museum

The cousins at the Chinese History Museum

We originally travelled to Semenggoh Wildlife Reserve but was told that because of the fruit season, Orangutans could hardly be seen in the vicinity. So we drove in the opposite direction and visited Matang Wildlife Reserve instead.

Matang Wildlife Reserve.  This guy's name is Dr. Kok.

Of all the places I had visited, the Fairy Cave was the most magical place to be at. I enjoyed it most. The trek up to the top of the cave was not Mom's cup of tea so we had decided to climb halfway up and head down again.  A torch and proper shoes are needed for this visit.

We climbed up the Fairy Cave situated in a little town outside of Kuching called Bau.

Throughout my entire stay in Kuching, the Fairy Cave was my Favourite visit. 

Next time I must remember to wear my trail shoes and bring a torch.

The gold mining town of Bau still has gold left to mine. Some areas were protected by armed Guards. Nonetheless, the lake was beautiful.

Tasik Biru or Blue Lake was a gold mining haven before. In fact, the town of Bau is still a gold mining town.

Is there gold in there?

We drove through ate old town of Siniawan. Let's say, I was expecting a horse and cart parked nearby. The street was like the set of an old movie. It looked also like 1950s Singapore.

Part of the old town of Siniawan just outside Kuching

It looks like 1950s Singapore. Very quaint.

Siniawan

We browsed through rows of local produce at the Sunday Market. Besides selling the usual fish, meat and vegetables, it also had plants, flowers, birds and cooked food.

 Mom bought a lot of Sibu-grown olives at the Sunday Market.

All manner of local fruits can be found here

Rows of local produce 

Plants and flowers sold at the Sunday Market. Looked like a garden centre.

Even birds are sold at the market. Yes, they are sold to bird lovers as pets, and not for food. I checked.

Wow! These birds are so beautiful! So elegant.

I believe these are quails. Quails eggs are nutritious. 

Weird looking local vegetable called Bidin.

Even wierder local vegetable. Unidentifiable.

Cooked food were sold at the market too. These are rolls of rice steamed in banana leaves.

Kueh Lapis or Layer Cake in a multitude of hues and flavors

 

With my Cousin Dennis,  our trusted tour guide who brought us for a drive to the outskirts of Kuching.

Jong's crocodile farm was a delightful visit. There were more animals than crocodiles that were provided as natural a habitat as they could have, so they could thrive in the grounds. It was like a mini zoo with a Sun Bear, Bear Cat, iguanas, monitor lizards, tortoise, civet cat, owls, monkeys, and all kinds of birds.

This guy was saved from an Indonesian trader. His name is Pak Indon.

Siesta after lunch.

The Dwarf Cayman- The small fry opened his mouth pretending to act fierce.

Pea hen?

The Bear Cat - Schizophrenic animal. Looks and behaves like a bear as well as a cat.

These peacocks were wuite aggressive. One of them got Mom in a fright when it started to fly and howl.

This was a friendly chap. He came by closer to say hello.

Iguanas in different Colours.

Crocodile nursery

Another Favourite place of interest for me was the Rancan Waterfalls in the tiny town of Serian. The waterfalls and the surrounding greenery were so calming and watching the children swimming in the Rancan pool was quite fun.

Rancan Waterfall at Serian

Mom and I ate a storm in both Sibu and Kuching.

Kam Pua Mee

Kuching Laksa

Kueh Chap

Carrot cake

The kueh chap stall from Mom's childhood days when granduncle and Grandaunt took her here for a meal.

Fish ball and Tofu soup

Satay

Kedondong Juice

The stall that sold the fishball soup and satay at the old Teochew temple or Lao Ya Keng. 

Kolo Mee. It looks like Sibu's Kam Pua Mee.

Thunder Tea Rice, a Hakka delicacy of rice, vegetables and herb and vegetable soup

Gong Pia. I called it Sarawakian Hamburgers.

Red Wine Vermicelli 

Tomato Mee

Kacang Ma -OMG! My favourite! Mum's best though.

Belacan Bee Hoon

Our last dinner in Kuching was at an old fashioned restaurant called Sweet Happiness Seafood,  We did not have seafood as we could get that back in Singapore, so we ordered  locally grown wild vegetables like Money Vegetable, pumpkin fritters with salted egg, Bidin, bitter gourd and a chicken soup steamed in coconut.

A wild vegetable dinner

Ice cream from Sunny Hill. My aunts grew up on it.

Playing tourists and visiting the relatives in Sibu and Kuching was certainly fun.  However, as an inquisitive soul,and with my interest piqued by Granny regaling her childhood stories,  I wanted very much to understand my familial roots from the Borneo side of the family.  

I am currently putting the pieces of the puzzle together from chats with all my relatives here in Sibu and Kuching.  So far, the story pieced together sounded like that American sitcom from my childhood days, Dynasty. In fact, this was possibly more colourful so I would reserve that for my next blogpost.

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.