Joel Has An Outstanding Aspiration

Acceptance

Just as I had gone through a period of transformation this year, Joel went through his. He had to stomach the disappointment of not doing as well as he had expected at the GCE O’ Levels examinations, and was  forced to come to terms with accepting admission into a course at the Polytechnic that he did not opt for as a first choice, nursing.

For him, it was a painful journey of acceptance, compromise and most of all humility throughout the first few months of the year.  He was so adamant about not wanting to be “Gaylord Focker” staring down a patient’s bedpan throughout his life.  However, upon our encouragement, he did some desktop research about the profession, read all the materials sent over by the polytechnic and I dragged him, kicking, to a career fair for prospective medical professionals.  The lady nurses at the career fair must have helped swung his thoughts positively towards the profession.

 He took our advice to embrace the nursing course as a learning experience, and we told him to enjoy his campus life.  There was going to be so many more years filled with plenty of opportunities ahead of him.  If he doesn’t try it out with an open mind, he will never know.

The Transformation

Over the months, I had seen Joel traipse in and out of home and campus with a little spring in his step and he had talked incessantly about the lecturers, his course mates, his tutorials and his industrial attachment at the hospital.  Recently, the chats about these were injected with a lot of humor, enthusiasm and a can-do spirit. He seemed to be voraciously learning as much as he could because he came home spewing weird medical terms in a bid to impress us. From time to time, he would chase the dogs around the house with a stethoscope and pin me down onto the bed to take my blood pressure.  He hasn’t yet pin David down for a prostate check so thank goodness for that.

So here’s my question. Was he really enjoying it or was he just trying to keep the peace at home with us?

When he was posted to the Singapore General Hospital (SGH) for his industrial attachment, I swore I never saw anyone as excited about staring down a patient’s bedpan as he was.  He was so fired up with excitement that the chatter at home was filled with his passionate accounts about the things he learnt at the hospital, his experience of administering medical care to his patients, the different types of patients he had been talking to, and how happy he was when he saw his patients recover well enough to be discharged.

When he was booked in on a late shift, I often see him coming home exhausted, but still with a smile.  He once returned home and told me that his back hurt as he was on his feet all day.  As I was administering the plaster to relief his pain, he was recounting excitedly what he did in the hospital and what he had learnt.  Surprisingly, he said,” I prefer to be allocated the early morning shift Mum.  Although I start my day at an ungodly hour, at least I have so much more to do with the patients.”

Aspirations

A few days ago, while having a casual chat about his work at the hospital, Joel suddenly said, “You know Mum, initially I thought I might just complete this 3-year nursing course, go on to fulfill my national service obligation, then do something else different after national service.”  He went on to make a point, “However, after my experience at SGH, I realized I do enjoy nursing.  It’s so fulfilling when I know I am doing something great for the patients. I can’t understand it when some people can’t embrace an experience wholeheartedly enough to enjoy it and learn from it.  In fact, in future, I hope to be able to establish a private nursing care service.  That’s my goal.”

I was taken aback by that mindset change.  In fact, I was pleasantly surprised by my son’s maturity.  He actually has aspirations!   At the age of 19, most people his age would be thinking which club they should be checking out next weekend or which girl they should be making out with the following weekend. Their vision is often short-termed and tinted with self-interest. 

It is truly commendable for Joel to go from that unenthusiastic “nay-sayer” at the start of the course to one who has a respectable goal of bringing joy to patients with an aspiration to open a private nursing care facility.

I am so glad that like me, ultimately, Joel trusted the universe to guide him along this journey.  I remembered updating my facebook status on my Sun Goddess Tarot facebook page at the beginning of the year “ If your intent is pure, the universe, in its own time and pace, will put the right opportunities before you.”

The universe is indeed placing an abundance of opportunities at Joel's feet.



About The Writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 43 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketeer at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 19 year old son.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".

The Angry Wife Is Even Angrier

The Establishment Again

My blog followers will remember that I abhor the pedantic rules of any establishment. My more conservative friends would label me as irreverent, and the more open-minded ones would consider me a laugh-a- minute.  I am of the opinion that I am just being rational and practical, trusting my good sense to bend the rules slightly if need be, to get the right things done in the right way.

More than 30 years ago, when Dad kept racks of books and papers from left-wing political leaders, and held discussions on political ideas not aligned to the establishment, he was incarcerated for “conspiracy” and our home got ransacked by burly, glove –clad, clipboard-toting establishment lackeys.

Fast forward 30 years later, I am glad there is a little improvement in the political climate to allow for different points of view.  Perhaps, the power of social media left the establishment with no choice but to listen to all forms of public discourse with an open mind.  And when negative sentiments appeared in the social space, the establishment could only “urge the majority of Singaporeans to speak out when they do not agree with such comments”.

The Angry Wife Again

Two days ago, I received a letter from the town council requesting that we remove David’s and Joel’s bicycles from the corridor outside our front door.  I have lived here for so long, and these bicycles had never posed a problem.  Moreover, all the neighbors at every level and along the same floor, had big potted plants lined up outside their front doors too.  The width of these potted plants is definitely bigger than our bicycles, hence they wouldn’t pose any restrictions to people walking along the corridor.  Unless one is built like the A380, it definitely wouldn’t be a safety hazard as there was ample space along the corridor.

These establishment lackeys were probably looking for something important to do.  They had probably walked past our home with a clipboard and decided “1) Ugly angmo – check, 2) expensive bicycles that we can’t afford to buy that are occupying public space – check, 3) 3 annoying dogs in flat – check, let’s just make their lives miserable.”

I went into a fit of rage when we were told to have our bicycles chained downstairs at the bicycle stands instead.  This is because, I have on numerous occasions, spotted a lonely bicycle wheel, or bicycle handle still chained to the bicycle stands without the rest of the bicycle attached to it. Theft of bicycles is very common here.  Because such incidences appear to be minor crimes, unimportant for anyone to bother about and too petty for the establishment lackeys to shorten their lunch hour to put some effort behind them, many stolen bicycles remain unrecovered.

Years ago, I had an expensive mountain bike stolen from outside my front door.  I spent months looking at the rag and bone man, the friendly neighborhood road sweeper, and construction workers from neighboring work sites, with pure disdain, as I conjured images of them scurrying away with my beloved mountain bike across their backs. I did make a police report and I have yet to receive a phone call from them to say “ Sorry madam, your bike is lost forever and because we’re so busy nabbing people who park their bikes outside their homes, we have no time to find yours.”

The Crazy Angmo Again

Throughout this entire episode, David had assumed an approach of resigned calmness.  He maintained his composure whilst reading out the notice to me.  He just looked at the letter cursorily and said “Oh well, we could find a corner within the living room to place our bikes.  When this blows over in a few months, they would forget about it and we’ll just reposition our bikes along the corridor again.”  That had absolutely no effect in calming me down.  I went into a ballistic frenzy thinking he is letting the establishment win.  I felt I have been oppressed! I paid so much for a family pad and I can’t even park our bikes outside our front door!  Outrageous! And the only way he thought he could stop my torrent of expletives was to say “Stop raising your voice.  Just go play with your cards, talk to a crystal, or burn a candle. You will feel better after.”  Well, it’s been 2 days.  I haven’t felt any better and I haven’t thought any better about the establishment.

About The Writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 43 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketeer at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 19 year old son.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".

Reflecting On Our PM's National Day Rally Speech

Our Prime Minister’s National Day Rally speech over the weekend, had provided much fodder for reflection.  He had appealed to Singaporeans to write the next chapter of the Singapore story with him, through the ideals of looking forward to brighter hopes, having a bigger heart, and building a better home.

Hope, Heart and Home

Having lived through a very different Singapore years ago when Dad was incarcerated for having a different perspective, this theme of “Hope, Heart, and Home” reminded me to leave the past with its bitter-sweet memories behind and look forward to a future that will belong to Joel and his generation.  When Joel go out into the world as an adult, I want him to govern his life with an aim to always have brighter hopes, and govern his actions with a bigger heart, so that he can do his part to build a better home, a better Singapore.  That’s the only way I can attempt to explain the crux of that speech to Joel.   

Bigger Hearts

I told Joel that Singaporeans do have a bigger heart. We have seen so many caring Singaporeans putting in their efforts to save stray dogs and volunteer their time at charity homes.  I just can’t explain the time when our bigger heart failed us as David had occasionally become a victim of verbal racial abuse or subjected to xenophobic neighbors living in the same block of flats who would push a lift button feverishly to close the elevator doors on him.  I think Joel is mature enough to realize that while he governed his life with an aspiration, he had to acknowledge that there were those who wouldn’t.  That, I guess, made my country an even more interesting place to live in, because of the different stories we could tell with our experiences.  Today, David, Joel and I can laugh at these antics.  They added color to our lives.

Better Home

I also told Joel that we must always be loyal to our home, Singapore, and do everything we could to make it a better home.  When David had decided to get his permanent residency status here and is looking forward to someday obtaining his citizenship in Singapore whilst giving up his British passport, we realized that home wasn’t about a tiny red dot on the map.  Home was instead where our family and our happiness were.  That in itself was worth protecting and investing in.

Brighter Hopes

Singapore has built itself into a city promising brighter hopes.  How many countries can boast of abundant opportunities nurtured by a society of ambitious and educated people who worked very hard to live their fullest potential? 
As a mother, I had spent angst-filled years with Joel helping him through his school work, watching him juggle his time between school, tuition classes and sports, grieving with the boy when he failed his examinations and was forced to stay back at the same level in one of his secondary years and comforting him through the time he thought he was not normal when he was allocated into a 5-year normal stream in secondary school.  I held his hand through those angst-filled years in the hope that he would have a brighter future some day.  My goal for Joel was very simple. I just wanted him to be happy and to work towards a career path that would enable him to capitalize on his great communication and interpersonal skills to add value to the people he will touch along the way and provide him with a lot of fulfillment.  

When his GCE O’ Level results dictated that he had to take up nursing at the polytechnic instead of mass communications which he was more enthusiastic about, his world shattered before him because he was determined not to be termed “Gaylord Focker” by friends and spend the rest of his life staring into a patient’s bed pan each day.  However my advice to Joel at that time was to embrace the challenge wholeheartedly because with his great communication and interpersonal skills most needed in nursing, perhaps he might find that the universe was guiding him towards that path.  If he didn’t try it out, he would never know.  Joel took that advice and he had been putting his heart and soul into learning as much as he could in the nursing faculty.
Last night, we met a bunch of Singaporean students who were either members of the alumni of Scottish universities or are heading to these universities for their undergraduate studies in the coming months.  Joel whispered to me “I feel so ashamed that I can’t be as good as they are to be at these universities.”  I assured Joel that each of us was meant to carve our different paths according to our different strengths and none of these paths make any of us lesser than the other. 

Brighter Hopes Can Only Be Determined By You

However, I couldn’t help but feel the negative impact of societal norms and pressures that held people to the belief that the right and best path is to follow the clinical route.  This is the expected route of getting from a reputable primary school to an express stream in a reputable secondary school, to a reputable junior college and then to a top university, followed by getting a fantastic high-paying job, and then get married as early as possible so that you can get a government-subsidized flat at a reputable estate, and have at least 2 kids who will start the cycle of going to a reputable primary school. 
Joel felt left out of that cycle and I wished he didn’t feel that way because I was almost in the throes of that cycle until I forced myself out of it after obtaining a divorce, and started carving my own path through the unbeaten track.  And frankly, I am still doing it because I believe my true education is gained from the experiences learnt in the University of Life.  I wanted Joel to not be a follower, but be a leader.  Being one of the few blokes in a nursing faculty, I wanted him to feel proud that he was breaking through the barriers of prejudice to stand out from the sea of nursing students. Given that Singapore has an ageing population with growing healthcare talent shortage, his skills were going to be useful in filling the gap.  And frankly, if you know Joel for his “can-do” attitude, his courage, his infectious enthusiasm, his great communication and interpersonal skills, I would say that, true to our Prime Minister’s expectations, Joel is already heading towards building a brighter future for himself and for the industry.

Our Prime Minster has requested that we write the next chapter of the Singapore story with him.  That next chapter belongs to Joel.  I hope that the continuous learning he had gleaned from David and me and the experiences that he will be garnering along the way, helps him write an even more colorful chapter of the Singapore story, without fear of being different and without the pressure and expectations of being “boxed” into preconceived notions of success.

Working Together Was Good Fun

Last week, a friend hired David and I to help out at his company's first year anniversary party. David was hired as official photographer for the event and I was hired to entertain guests with my tarot reading.

I am not sure who had more of a blast. My friend, David or me. It was our first experience of working together at an event, and we had so much fun doing it because we were both always looking out for each other.

David and I often get invited to help out at projects like these, but we have never been invited as a couple on the same project. He would get invited for photography shoots at rock concerts, company events, personal profile shots of friends and their families and I often get invited to read my tarot cards at birthday and hen parties, company events as well as charity events. And strangely, we had never thought to go into projects together. So this experience was an eye opener.

For my friend's event, we had already visited the event venue a few days prior to establish the setting and environment we were going to be at. This allowed David to plan the type of equipment he was going to be bringing along with the right camera he was using. It also allowed me to "feel" the space and make a mental note of where my querants could get the appropriate privacy to get a reading with as little interference as possible while allowing me ease of managing a queue. David and I also had a discussion about the lighting and it's impact on our respective areas of work.

I have to say, David's dedication was amazing. He had spent an entire day before rushing through back to back meetings in Kuala Lumpur and had just arrived a couple of hours before the event to check out the venue again and sort out his equipment in preparation for the event.

At the event, as the crowds streamed in and we were both just consumed with taking the photos and doing the readings, we often checked on each other. I was worried that the venue's dim lighting will affect the quality of the photos whereas he was worried that I wouldn't be able to cope with the crowd as the queue list at the tarot table was very long.

Joel did his bit as well. He was our "roadie". He helped to carry, my easel, my Sun Goddess Tarot poster, and the camera equipment. He also helped managed the queue at the photography wall and in between that, he came over to check on me and got me a drink to salve my parched lips.

It was an extremely busy night for the both of us but we enjoyed it tremendously because it gave us the opportunity to watch out for each other and we were probably each other's best critique. He reminded me in between readings to take a 5 minute breather to do a "download"( it was essential for me to do a grounding meditation for a few minutes in between client readings to dispel residual negative energies before I start reading for a new batch of clients) and I reminded him to create different and more interesting angles for the shots at the photography wall. Even after the event, I played Art Director to his digital imaging work on the photos....sometimes to his annoyance.

David and I are proof that working on a project together as a couple is extremely fulfilling. That may have given us a vision for our retirement years and it certainly looks promising.

About The Writer:


The writer of this blog post is a 43 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketeer at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 19 year old son.

Being Happy With What I Have

Over the weekend, a friend had asked me why I had stopped blogging at http://thecrazyangmoandhisangrywife.blogspot.com. I assured her that I had not, but was consumed with such a busy schedule that I haven't had much time to even log on to Blogger. I checked myself at that point and logged on to Blogger to view my activity profile. I haven't been blogging everyday, but I have been moderately active with my blog entries, particularly at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com lately. I have been running 2 blogs, the first is http://thecrazyangmoandhisangrywife.blogspot.com which was set up for the purpose of detailing my family's quirky exploits. The second is http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com which was set up this year, when I built an ardent passion for the art of tarot reading and became a certified professional tarot reader. The latter was a platform I used to detail my exciting journey with tarot.

Bouncing between the 2 blogs was easy initially because the 2 most important areas of my life, family/work and tarot had for a long time sat in separate realms, with the latter forced in its space by the skepticism of family and friends, conjoined only by the jubilation brought by sporadic demonstrations of acceptance from my husband. Lately however, it has become just a little bit more difficult to separate the 2 areas of my life because the "crazy angmo", the not so angry wife, her "Addams' family" and some of her loonie friends have finally come to accept that like my playing the piano, my interest in "non-mainstream" classical music ( specifically Bela Bartok and Smetana), and my love for the "game of the Gods", rugby ( still in love with the game though age and fitness prevents me from continuing to play the game), the tarot has become a key driver of my happiness. So honestly, I shouldn't be afraid of mentioning anything about my world of tarot in my first blog.

A-ha! There you go, I just admitted it unwittingly. I was quite afraid to mention anything about tarot in my blog http://thecrazyangmoandhisangrywife.blogspot.com I have been keeping the subject matters within both blogs quite separate. And you know, I am tired from using my "non-accepting friends and family" as a convenient excuse. In truth, I am still a spectator to an internal war being waged between my rational mind and my intuitive skills. I have detailed some of these challenges in my tarot blog recently. I have been managing this war by wading through my mood swings, hurling into a hermit-like world of expansive studying of more esoteric works and constantly questioning concepts and ideas in my head, with only my fellow tarot-reading friends and mentors within the international tarot community and in Singapore, holding my hand through it all.

I forgot however, that I have got very special people in my life, formerly parked in the "crazyangmo..." world, who have equally, been holding my hand, in their individual ways, throughout this battle within me. Numerologically, my life path number is a 7. I am naturally deign to constantly questioning and seeking truths, discovering new ideas and learning new things. My birthday number of 1, governs my egoistic personality who tend to tread the barren path alone without asking for help. Therefore, as I deal with my growing intuitive skills, the turmoil in my head sends me into a spiral that buries me deep within the cave for fear of being laughed at, for fear of being questioned, for fear of making a mistake on any of my consultations with any of my clients, for fear of generally mixing my "irrational" intuitive skills with my "rational" skills as a marketeer, wife and mother.

Lately, I have begun noticing that my intuitive skills are growing even more such that often when a client presents me a question, a vision forms in my head about his/her story without me shuffling the cards. When I draw the tarot cards, they only serve to validate that vision in my head. My clients always affirms the facts of these stories in my head. That was when I started panicking because I didn't "sign up for this". When I studied tarot and numerology, nothing in the books or in the courses I took talked about getting visions which tell my clients' respective stories. However, I can't stop these visions, when I get a question. True to my life path number 7, I started reading up about this and asking as many questions as I could about this "new party trick". I haven't gotten a satisfying answer till today.

I shuffled my new deck, the Wizards Tarot deck in a bid to do a general read for myself last night with a 3-card spread (image below). And I got the 10 of Cups, the King of Wands, and the 4 of Wands Reversed. These were read in an integrated fashion with no fixed positions. Afterwhich, I pulled the 9 of Cups which formed an advice to my spread. Now, I have been doing tarot readings for numerous clients with ease, but this spread threw me off completely. I wasn't sure what to make of the great 10 of Cups and 9 of Cups cards ( which symbolize fulfilment) juxtaposed with the not so fantastic 4 of Wands Reversed which symbolized instability and uncertainties. And I felt like the King of Wands trying to juggle these extremes with as much "balls" as he can master!

I bounced that spread off to one my mentors Brigit, who very kindly helped me by offering her perspective on it. I think I finally see the light.

In her interpretation, she said that the cards were telling me that I was looking at how I could integrate my personal values and beliefs (10 of Cups) into my longer term vision ( King of Wands). That is true. I have been constantly questioning my intuitive skills, managing the tug-of-war between my rational mind and my intuitive skills, managing my career goals vs my passion and trying to build a long term plan with an end vision of capturing all my passions and my goals all at once, in mind. This period is transitory for me, hence I picked the 4 of Wands Reversed, which suggested that I have been unsettled by this period of transition. Most importantly, I picked the 9 of Cups as my advice. Now, note that earlier, I had picked the 9 of Cups as my card du jour and posted my take on it, on my Sun Goddess Tarot facebook page. So to see the 9 of Cups as an advice to this spread was a bit of a surprise for me. Brigit summed that advice as "Be happy with what you have, and see every moment as a blessing. This will make the 4 of Wands Reversed easier to deal with".

Brigit was brilliant. How could I have not seen that coming? You see, one never stops learning. I can be armed with every tarot and numerology book, every professional tarot reading certificate in the world, set up a successful tarot consultancy, Sun Goddess Tarot, and balance all that with managing a marketing career and running a family. Yet, it all boiled down to my needing to be happy with what I had, and to feel blessed with the skills I got and remain open to the universe to guide me along the way.

About The Writer:


The writer of this blog post is a 43 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketeer at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 19 year old son.

Another Nurse In The Family

Some years ago, when Dad had decided to retire and spend his days surfing the tv channels, I thought that was the worst decision he had made because Dad seemed so mentally active and still had a lot of energy to continue working at the law firm. However, Mum recounted that Dad made that decision shortly after having a bad fall while crossing the road. It seemed odd at that time to me, that Dad would make a major life-changing decision based on a reason that is as frivolous as having a fall while walking. It took me awhile to realize that that fall was the symptom of something more sinister - the onset of a silent stroke.

Stroke and high blood pressure runs through my family, so it wasn't a surprise to me that he'd suffer from it. However, what surprised me was the rapid rate at which Dad's legs gradually lost the strength to walk. His gait turned from a quick shuffle, almost like a dance, to one at glacial pace with him holding the wall, table, chair and anything he could grab onto to steady himself.

And today, Dad's condition obviously deteriorated with age and he needs far more assistance, particularly when he goes into momentary confusion from what I suspect is an onset of Alzheimer's. The critical point where we had decided to quickly hire a helper for Dad, was when he fell at home while gliding at glacial pace from table to wall a few weeks ago. Thank goodness, apart from a couple of bruises, Dad couldn't remember that he fell, just barely a couple of hours later. So that was our warning sign that the next time if he should fall again, the situation could be worse.

Funnily enough, while Dad sometimes don't remember what he had eaten for lunch, he could remember the promises I made to him to buy him a Japanese Teppanyaki meal which he thoroughly enjoys. He could even remember laughable moments with my dog Bailey, and his old jokes from possibly the pre-war days which he repeats to me quite frequently.

One day, he sat at the living room with his pajamas on, and it was only 4.15pm in the afternoon. So I asked him to read the time on the clock which was a fair distance from where he was sitting. Now this old clock had roman numbers and the hands on the clock were quite thin. From a distance, I wouldn't have been able to see what time it was. However Dad could tell me the time so I knew deep in my heart, he was still pretty lucid, just confused sometimes.

So with Dad getting weaker with age and Mom not coping very well looking after him on her own, we had decided to get Dad a nursing-trained helper.

Miraculously, as if the universe heard my prayers, we found Marites through Evelyn. Marites is Evelyn's cousin who incidentally had arrived in Singapore to work for a family barely 3 months ago but that didn't work out, hence she was looking for a new employer. And because Evelyn has worked for my family for the last 6 years, I knew I could trust her instincts in introducing Marites to Mom.

Marites joined the family today. I am so relieved that Dad can now be under constant care, and she will also help ease the pressure off Mom. Though Marites is very young, at 24, her pleasant disposition, her willingness to work hard and learn new things as well as her nursing qualifications will all go to helping bring some light back into Mom and Dad's home.

I used to think the cause of Dad's frustrations, isn't that he is partially disabled, but rather, he has to face that nagging fruit bat of a wife day in, and day out. And the cause of Mom's frustrations, isn't that Dad is partially disabled, but rather, she has to face his often cranky and stubborn disposition as well as his unreasonable demands. Perhaps, with Marites, they both have someone else they can each use as sounding board from time to time, and provide yet another much needed conversational partner at home.

I felt a lot more peace when I managed to find Dad a helper. At least, when Mom goes to the market, runs her errands or even just decide to have some "me" time, I can have peace of mind that Marites is taking good care of Dad.

We often take our helpers for granted. In running our home like the quintessential Chief Operations Officer, I sometimes forget how much peace of mind Evelyn had given me so that I could fully focus on my work and have a quality family life at the same time. Truly blessed.

Genuine Appreciation

Yesterday evening, upon stumbling back into our home after a difficult day, Joel greeted me with a couple of whiskey glasses uniquely shaped like a skull. I love my single malt whiskeys and would sometimes unwind with a Macallan, Belvenie, Laprhroaig or Talisker. And when I want to celebrate a little achievement, or an occasion, I’ll pull out my Springbank. The gift of our new whiskey glasses was timely because nothing can wash away a stressful day better than a shot of single malt served in unique glasses given by my son. And boy, did I have a stressful day. Watching me sip my single malt with a smile across my face was all the appreciation Joel needed for his thoughtfulness.

So that brings me to the topic of “Genuine Appreciation”. It’s easy to offer money, a dinner treat, a bunch of flowers, and even easier to offer lip service, but genuine appreciation is the hardest to give out, and the rarest to receive.

Within the family, we expect each member of our family to play our respective roles to run a home perfectly. However, we sometimes take for granted the little things that we do for each other. David prepares my pills every morning, lining them up neatly in a row next to my glass of freshly squeezed juice and a cup of freshly brewed coffee. This is a gesture of love I would always appreciate because it starts my morning right and allows me to ease into my day without haphazardly rushing around the kitchen to prepare my own breakfast. And what have I taken for granted? For a long while, David had been attempting his version of coffee art by drawing a heart on the foam of my coffee. I used to delight in embarrassing him by posting pictures of these on facebook and in his words “undermine” his “burly, macho, Scotsman image”. It’s been months since he has done that and I miss that most in the mornings.

Mom sometimes comes by our home with bottles of her wretched Chinese herbal brews that taste like embalming fluid. These herbal brews promise to tip the balance of the Yin and Yang in our bodies to our favor and recharge us with vitality to prevent us from catching a fever and a flu. Sometimes when Mom goes home, the herbal brews either go to the dog or in the bin without her knowing. But often, she would outstay her visit till she watched every drop of these herbal brews go down our throats. Truly unpleasant. However, I truly appreciate Mom’s show of motherly concern and love. I especially appreciate the time when she took the trouble to cook my favorite dishes after my surgery, and wheeled Dad in his wheelchair, while brandishing pots of delicious food to our home. Only the power of motherly love can help me heal my post-surgery wounds even more quickly.

Then there’s my team at work. In my career, this is probably the smallest number of colleagues within a team that does everything from public relations, corporate communications, customer communications, brand marketing, product marketing, digital marketing, sponsorship and corporate social responsibility. And they do it splendidly. God knows how they juggled the multiple projects within the pressures of tight timelines, demanding internal clients with multiple agendas and a period where we are so under-staffed with one of the girls away on maternity leave and another, away on long leave. I have deep respect for these girls and am exceptionally humbled by the show of solidarity and teamwork that made their delivery of every project even more perfect. That was the reason why, I had a lot of appreciation for the effort they put into their work, that I was driven to do the same by working even while I was on hospitalization leave. If the team had to be in the trenches, I was going to be in the trenches with them.

That is why I get annoyed when marketing communications specialists in any company gets under-appreciated. The role of marketing communications had often been relegated to pretty envelope makers, coherent letter writers, and pretty advertising campaign developers. How much effort one puts into lending thought leadership in any business, and how many times one’s work gets seen as a best practice amongst the different markets in the region, a marketing communications specialist seldom gets a pat on the back. However, they are the first to get nit-picked at, with frivolous criticisms about anything from the colors they use within an advertising campaign to whether a talent used in the campaign has a moustache or should be clean-shaven. Years ago, I worked for a company where I was even asked why I hadn’t the strategic mind to put an advertisement at our airport lounges when the bulk of our customers we were targeting were locals. Genuine appreciation isn’t about paying lip service to the “pretty colors” a marketing communications specialist puts out on the advertising in the newspapers. It’s about the genuine appreciation for the fact that these group of specialists are truly doing what they do best, to support the business goals. And I wished more people would understand the role and the contributions from this role much better.

Genuine appreciation in any circumstance, at home, at work, or amongst friends is hard to come by. It becomes really sad if we sit around to expect it and it becomes even sadder, when we DO NOT expect it. I am just puzzled, if I could live life being truly grateful for everything around me from my husband, son, my parents, my job, my team and my friends, and tell them so as often as I can, I cannot understand how difficult it is for other people to do the same.