I Gave Myself Permission To Have A Break

My Month Of Rest

This was supposed to be my month of rest.  Apart from experiencing a meltdown moment over a Christmas tree last week, practicing a few elbow moves while doing Christmas shopping at the mall, and annoying my creative agency by playing creative director again over a very small project,  I actually had a wee bit of rest.

I gave myself a break from writing MMA-related or Tarot related articles.  When I felt compelled to write, I chose to write softer articles that could inspire my readers to make the right health and fitness choices.    

I was also selective about accepting Tarot reading engagements at corporate events. Last year, I was inundated with so many events and teaching workshops  in December that I hardly spent time with the family on weekends.  This year,  I took on less events and was thankful I did, especially when we had a couple of weddings in the family, my granny’s birthday, and a number of Christmas party invitations.  I would not have had the ability to juggle too many commitments.  Even when it came to my boxing training at the gym, I was thankful for a wee bit of rest when my boxing coach spent a couple of weeks traveling and was called up for reservist training.  I had not stop going to the gym, and instead, focused on strength and conditioning which I badly needed.

Bracing For A Busy 2015 

I believed that this period of rest was needed to get me ready for an extremely busy first quarter of 2015.  Apart from all the projects that I had to focus on at work early next year,  we also had several writing and photography assignments lined up which will see us traveling to Bangkok and Jakarta, and I have got plans for doing a week of intensive Muay Thai training in Phuket thereafter.  Moreover, I am planning some exciting lineup of Numerology workshops in partnership with a few creative souls and am quite excited about it.  Just the thought of meandering through these projects coming up in the first quarter of 2015, was enough to overwhelm me but I will cross the bridge when I come to it.

So what did I do during my break?

Focusing On The Family And Me

• I took Mom shopping.  We indulged in a spot of Christmas shopping and an extravagant lunch.  It gave us the opportunity to have a mother-daughter chat about everything under the sun, we took countless nauseating selfies and had a bit of a laugh about everything.   I wanted to be able to spend an entire day with Mom without burying my face in my blackberry to respond to the never-ending flood of emails.

• I participated at a festive pop-up market, the Goddess Marketplace, where I spent the day doing Tarot and Numerology readings for the New Year.  The readings were a hit and  my greatest gratification was the fact that I made new friends in the process.  I wanted to do readings in an environment of like-minded, creative and talented souls who were there to make new friends too, as they created awareness for their craft, and not be pressured by the constraints of time which was often a limitation for me as I rushed from back to back private client readings in person to  skype readings at home on a nightly basis.

• I had not stop writing. Instead, I wrote only what I wanted to write.  I worked on articles that I felt would inspire and add value to others.  So I wrote articles that focused on the fitness and nutritional regimen of people who were professional athletes as well as recreational fitness enthusiasts.  I wanted to write in a way where I would not be pressured by demands and deadlines of  events and egos of people I had to interview for content.

• I went out with a few of my colleagues for a nice afternoon away from the office, just enjoying a cup of tea and a girlie conversation.  Instead of arguing with or moaning to these colleagues about the obstacles we were facing in some of our projects, we decided to just enjoy the moment, take it slow, and make our time with each other count towards building a better collegiate environment when we got back to the office after.

• I attended my cousins’ weddings.  Two of my cousins had decided to get married a few weeks apart from each other.  It gave the family a reason to come together to celebrate these nuptials.  We spent so little time throughout the year catching up with each other because of our busy schedules, yet within a few weeks, we seemed to be seeing more of each other and enjoying conversations with each other as if we had not been apart at all throughout the year.  In fact, we will be seeing each other again soon as Mum will be hosting her pre-Christmas family lunch this Sunday, and I will be hosting the ubiquitous Ash Family Christmas Eve dinner.  

• I focused on myself for once.  Instead of attending every event that I was invited to, or participating in every activity that I was previously lined up for, I picked and chose the ones I wanted to be at.  Some of my Saturday afternoons were spent  just enjoying a long nap.  I guess it was a way my body and mind was hollering for me to give it a rest.  So I did.

I Gave Myself Permission To Have A Break 

I woke up to something during this break.  Often, my friends and family would ask how I could juggle my time between a full time career as a marketing and PR professional, my intuitive consultancy business, my freelance writing assignments, my travels and my kickboxing training. 

Honestly, how busy I wanted to be is all within my control.  I could choose to slow down on my activities if I wanted to.  If I chose to be extremely  busy multi-tasking on so  many projects, that would be because I enjoyed them tremendously.  And at times like these, I would listen to my mind and body to step back and give myself permission to have a break.

I am enjoying my break till the year end, and I am enjoying it tremendously because I do deserve it.

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Muay Thai and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

Clowning about with the hubby at my cousin's wedding

Clowning about with Mum while out doing Christmas shopping

Clowning about with granny on her birthday

Clowning about with Team Ash at yet another cousin's wedding

Er....Just Clowns....

I Love My Imperfect Family

Mum Brought The Party To Us Through Food

In the last 2 weeks, as we celebrated Lunar New Year as a family, I had given much thought to what family is about.  With just my weekly visits, I don’t see Mum and Dad often enough, though David begs to differ unless something delicious is brewing on Mum’s stove.  What he sees as lunch, I saw as love.

Mum and Dad know that I am never far away.  I often dig out the treasures of past childhood memories from within my heart as a means to help me ride the rough of adulthood.  In the Tarot language, we call this the “6 of Cups” moment.  In the marketing language, I call it “Mum’s Exquisite Culinary Delights Prepared With Love” ( I have to be 'marketing-savvy' about how I term this with Mum so that she'll do more of it).

Over the last 2 weeks, we had been bonding over Mum’s home-cooked lunches.  We have been eating our way to a comatose state whilst catching up with the extended family on everything from babies, to weddings, to work, right down to the recent hot topic about facing an over-crowded Singapore.

The more we had to eat, the livelier the discussions were, across the dining table.  It’s not just merely food.  It’s Mum’s cooking.  There’s a magic dust she sprinkles over her cooking that creates all the animated chatter and the loud laughter.

We Brought The Party To Dad With The Feasting

Even Dad had a lot of fun.  Ever since Dad’s health deteriorated over the years, given that he had suffered a “silent” stroke, Mum tried to bring any form of celebrations at home so that he could enjoy them without having to move about too much. He definitely enjoyed the array of dishes Mum cooked to celebrate the Lunar New Year.  He didn’t even mind tottering gingerly across the kitchen for half an hour to take his place at the kitchen table so that Mum could serve him some of his favorite dishes.  It was the only exercise he did for that month I think…tottering across the kitchen.

Although Dad just sat there in his favorite chair  most of the time to enjoy the family around him, and he didn’t talk much because his speech was a wee bit slower than usual, his mind is still lucid as ever.   From time to time, he would interject about a topic closest to his heart – his dislike for “The Establishment”.  For me, that was wonderful to see because it’s a sign of his unwavering fighting spirit within him.  Also, while I noticed that he might be physically slower and got quite tired often, I saw him reach out a hand to grab my nephew, pulling him closer so that he could play with the little boy.  I thought that was amazing for someone who took half an hour just to shuffle across a tiny kitchen.

When Dad couldn’t peel a fruit with his weak hands yesterday, I happily did it for him and remembered how he did the same for me when I was very young and didn’t know how to fiddle with a rambutan.   Knowing that Dad has an appetite for junk food, I watched  him look intently in anticipation at me as I removed the wrapper around a chocolate for him.  I did the same when I was very young as he opened a box of chocolates for me.  Dad had fond memories of our family dog Blooie when I was a child.  Blooie was a white toy poodle given to me as a birthday gift.  He died long ago in a road accident and that was the first time I saw my stoic father cry.  My current family dog Bailey, bears a close resemblance to Blooie.  It was heartwarming for me to see Dad laughing at Bailey and annoying the daylights out of the poor mutt who patiently allowed Dad to prod him, blow in his ear and pull his tail.   

I Love My Family

I love my family.  We aren’t perfect.  Half the extended family’s either living abroad or about to live abroad.  My immediate family looks like ambassadors for the United Nations Council For Cultural Diversity given our different last names and different nationalities.  Dad’s not in perfect health, Mum’s sometimes not in the perfect mood, David’s not a perfect shape, but hell, sometimes I am not in perfect mind!  It really doesn’t matter.  All the more I love my rather imperfect family.   However we bitch at each other, no matter how much we get on each other’s nerves and however little doses we can take of each other, at least once a year, particularly every Lunar New Year, Christmas and Easter, I would remember why I love my imperfect family.  In every way, they are perfect to me.

I can’t wait for Easter now.


About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 43 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketeer at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 19 year old son.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".

Dad and Mum visited the newly opened Gardens By The Bay recently.  Thanks to my cousin, they enjoyed the visit very much and it gave Dad a wonderful tan.

Dad's so happy when Bailey visits.  Bailey reminds him of Blooie, a white toy poodle Dad had given me as a birthday gift when I was a kid. Dad truly loved Blooie like a son.  Today he loves Bailey like a grandson.

Sighhhh....why can't I have a normal family.  The boy uses Bailey as a cushion from time to time.

Don't underestimate Dad...he's lucid enough to remember the past

My United Nations Family - We look like Ambassadors for Cultural Diversity.

Mum is attempting to clown about with fashion glasses. 

What Are You Celebrating This Spring?

The Hectic Year-End Festivities

 Before I could even put away my Christmas ornaments and discard the Christmas tree, Chinese New Year music had already drowned out the cacophony of bargaining shoppers at Chinatown.   Chinese restaurants were already collating reservations for Chinese New Year corporate luncheons and family dinners.  Most offices and mall spaces were plastered in red-colored decorations,  ranging from the ubiquitous  calligraphy of auspicious couplets, hanging mobiles in the shape of papier-mâché dancing lions, fire-crackers and pineapple-shaped lanterns.

Over the Christmas season, I found myself diving into a hectic rush of preparing a Christmas dinner menu, cooking up a storm and buying gifts  in between completing my work at the office during the day and managing a flood of Tarot readings in the evenings and during weekends.  When the New Year arrived, I had decided that the best way to spend the New Year was to rest my weary soul by camping out at home in the corner of my sofa in front of the television.  I never moved out of that position all day apart from when I needed a pee.  Even my meals were served up to me as I slouched in the couch. I was too tired to do anything else.

What a waste.

What Do I Want To Celebrate This Spring?

I was determined that this Chinese New Year, it had to be different.  I had to appreciate the significance of a festive season that welcomed back the Spring.  It was a festive season that celebrated family togetherness.  It was a the highlight of the Chinese Lunar  calendar that marked the intent for us to create a fresh start, a new beginning.  It was a 15 -day celebration where married couples and older relatives would be handing out little red packets filled with money as a gesture of good luck.  The elderly Aunties in the family would attempt to match-make the next generation of young unmarried relatives within the family, in the hope of extending the family with babies born in the next few years.  The cousins would come together to play a few rounds of Black Jack.  If you’re lucky, you might add a few more dollars to the collection of red packets you had received earlier.

This Chinese New Year festivities will span over a long 4-day weekend. It would be a good time for me to spend more time with my parents, in particularly, my Mum.  Our relationship has been bouncing up and down according to the volatility of our tempers so my approach to Mum as she judiciously organizes the family activities during the Chinese New Year period, is one of humble gratitude.  I want to restore my relationship with Mum, knowing that she has given her time and effort to loving me so selflessly.

I have also had time to think about my constant exhaustion.  Instead of blaming it on juggling all the different commitments in my life, I have decided to recharge my energy by getting back in touch with nature through the 11km trail walks through the MacRitchie Reservoir forest trail.

I used to do that quite regularly in the past but have stopped these walks for awhile with poor excuses given to justify my sleeping in.   I had done well kicking my diet back into shape post the year end festive feasting.  Now I had to use that walk to kick start my fitness regime.  

So this Spring, I am celebrating Family, Fun and Fitness.  What are you celebrating?

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 43 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketeer at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 19 year old son.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".