No Ego On Her Road To Glory

The Prejudice Against Women In Combat Sports

 

A few months ago, my boxing coach had planned a 3-week vacation to New York and told me that he would be leaving me in the good hands of one of his trainers.  I was not too happy that he was leaving me at a time when I was already struggling with specific technical issues with my jabs and left hook and depended totally on him to work through the drills with me at each training session.  I was even more nervous when I found out that the trainer he had assigned me to was a girl, Nurshahidah Roslie.  I remembered wailing, “A GIRL?!  You got a girl to train me?”  That was it.  I thought then that for 3 weeks, I might as well have taken a vacation myself, indulged in a diet of pizzas and ice cream, and waited for the coach to return.  Of course my good sense took over, and I was assured by everyone who heard about my doubts that Shahidah was a national boxer who had represented Singapore in the SEA Games recently and came with extensive boxing experience.  Moreover, she was also poised to be Singapore’s first female professional boxer when she makes her professional debut at the World Boxing Foundation-sanctioned event, Singapore Fighting Championship, on 20^th February.

 

Fighters’ Ego

 

I could explain where my prejudice against women in combat sports came from.  It was driven by past experiences when I had attempted to conduct interviews for my articles with female boxers and MMA fighters.  Ego was often in the way.  The female fighters I had encountered in the past almost always came into the ring with a chip on their shoulders.  I disliked that, particularly when I often remembered the wise words of my boxing coach who very firmly insisted that we left our egos outside the gym at every training session.  My experience with female fighters just ran contrary to that concept.

 

An example was an interview with an Asian female boxer who had transitioned to MMA in the past few years.  When I contacted her for an interview, she  dismissed me with responses like, “please talk to my PR people as I am busy” and worse, “you can get a glimpse of me training through my Facebook.”   Subsequently, I was not sure whether to feel sorry for her or to feel relief that that story had not been written because she suffered a string of losses in a series of fights after that.   Skills, talents, and experience often spoke louder than Ego.

 

Having been intimately involved with the combat industry through the fight photography and journalism work that David and I had been doing these few years, what was pretty obvious to us was that these fighters needed as much positive publicity as they could get, particularly when their fight opportunities were sometimes far and few in between.  So I would get quite disillusioned when I watched fighters display the more unpleasant side of themselves across media. I have seen that with men, as much as with women in combat sports and idealistic as I might be, I was sure as hell that I was not going to have anything more to do with anyone in combat sports that came packaged with a ribbon colored by Ego.

 
 

Inspiring Women In Combat Sports

 

So when my coach unceremoniously dumped a female boxing coach in the ring with me, I bristled with worry that Shahidah would come into the coaching session with that chip on her shoulder I came to associate female boxers with.

 

On looking back though, and after getting to know Shahidah better, I was quite embarrassed by my prejudice.  I reminded myself that I should not cast a cloak of judgment across the industry just because of a couple of bad lads and divas whom I had encountered.  I should instead stand by my principles and my genuine intent to promote women in combat sports across my social media platforms and even in the articles that I wrote.

 

I particularly had a soft spot for those who had struggled through life and committed their energy and time to combat sports as a positive outlet to inspire young women and children.  It was no secret that I was a big fan of Cris Cyborg in the world of Mixed Martial Arts. She had a 15-1 professional MMA record and in spite of the struggles that she had been through,  had decided to use her talents to inspire young ladies to embrace a life of fitness by launching her Pink Belt Fitness program.  Another inspiring female in combat sports that I admired was American boxer Mia St John who in her career had 22 out of 23 wins with 1 draw and was the WBC super welterweight champion defeating Christy Martin at the ripe old age of 45 years old.  Who thinks age is a barrier in combat sport again ? In her own right, she was not only a successful boxer but also a model and businesswoman, proving to other ladies, that she did not define herself by the opinions of others and made her own way through life with her own bare hands, brains and a lot of tenacity.

 

So my prejudice was inexcusable. 

 

First Singaporean Female Professional Boxer

 

The 3 weeks I spent with Shahidah as she meticulously worked through techniques, speed and agility together with me was an eye-opener.  This unassuming lady who often sat quietly behind the counter at the gym was a dynamite in the ring. No one should be at the end of her extremely powerful jab and left upper cut combination.  I would know, I almost had my jaw dislodged during a sparring session with her. 

 

During our training, we discussed her dreams, her aspirations and her hopes.  We spoke about her past, and how she had worked very hard to work towards her dream of representing the country in boxing at the SEA Games in 2015. We talked at length about each other’s fears, anxieties, and passions.  I truly respected her humility and her dedication to the goal of always being better than her current self so that she could impart her skills and knowledge to others.  I often heard boxers telling me that they wanted to garner that championship belt in a few weight categories in succession, be champions multiple times over, or be the "greatest of them all".  However all Shahidah wanted was to be a better boxer tomorrow than she was yesterday so that she could be part of the  talent development of young boxers.

 

When I told Shahidah about my experience with female fighters in the past, she said, “Before anyone thinks of picking up boxing, perfecting the techniques, garnering fame and glory, he or she needs to have an attitude that is heart-driven and powered by determination.  This attitude is NOT driven by ego and greed.  I am sorry about your past experiences but female boxers do need all the support that they can get.  If they have the right heart-driven attitude, hopefully, the support for female boxers will start streaming in when people like you can see the struggles and sacrifices we have made out of our love for the sport.  I am hoping to see more talented young female boxers stepping into the scene to represent Singapore.  It can only happen if people like you give them as much support and publicity that they need.”

 

Just A Girl

 

When I started boxing, many friends and relatives thought I was suffering from mid-life crisis.  I remembered a friend who said, “Joanna, you have been an over-achiever all your life.  You want to do everything to prove something all the time.  At your age, you have nothing to prove, so why should you start boxing now?”  That hurt.  I had lots to prove.  I wanted to prove that life should never have limits no matter the circumstance.  I thought objections would happen only to those who got into combat sports at a later age, like myself.   However, Shahidah had her fair share of objections as well from her family.  She was after all, “just a girl”.  More than anything, they were worried for her safety but knew that their objections would fall on deaf ears.   Shahidah took her family’s reservations in her stride, and instead of feeling dejected, she threw her energy behind her passion because it was a sport that made her aware of her strength, and was in awe of the discipline it had instilled in her.  She even proved her family wrong about boxing being “a man’s sport” when she started embracing her feminity even more and  became more aware of the fact that as a female boxer, she was inadvertently paving her way to be a role model for young up and coming female boxers too.

 

Obstacles

 

Life as a female boxer in general, was already not easy.  It was even harder when one is a female boxer in Singapore, where fight opportunities for female boxers were limited.  Shahidah spent hours training at the gym for the last 8 years, craving for as much fight experience as she could get.  However, fight opportunities here were far and few in between.  She prayed silently to be called up for matches and “just trained and waited, while bearing with the emptiness.” She was keen to get out there, push the envelope and raise that bar to develop her skills further but she often waited a very long time.

 

Another obstacle she had to overcome was money. Shahidah was practical enough to know that she needed to work to earn a decent living, mindful also that  what she earned had to be enough also to cover any medical costs incurred in the event that she had sustained  injuries  during her fights. However, work sometimes got in the way of her training schedule so she had to strike a delicate balance between work, training and rest. That was one of her biggest hurdles.

 

The Big Break

 

 Shahidah’s big break came when she was selected to represent Singapore in the SEA Games in 2015.  I got another glimpse of her humility and down to earth attitude when she told me that all she wanted to do was to train very hard so that she would not let down those who had invested time and energy on her.  She was keen on putting up a good fight. And her sportsmanship shone through when she said, “Whether I won or lost the fight, what was important to me was that I had given my heart and soul into putting up the fight of my life for my country.  For a start, I felt  honored to represent Singapore and that experience had shown me that the years of sacrifice and hard work was all well worth my effort.”

 

Training With The Best

 

Shahidah attributed the support she got on her boxing journey to our coach, Arvind from Juggernaut Fight Club.  She had a lot of respect for a coach that stood by his proteges “as if they were family.”    She said, “He was the only coach I know who would give more than100% to help his boxers. In the business of fight sports, he went through a lot of struggles, yet he found the means to develop athletes with his heart. There are times we do not agree with each other but at the end of the day, his heart had always been in the right place.” I resonated with that because I saw that with my own eyes with each of the boxers he had trained including the other  national boxers Leong Jun Hao and Tai Jia Wei.

 

Easy To Pick Up, Hard To Master

 

My almost 2 years of boxing training had been a long and difficult journey.  Many times, I wanted to run out of the gym, admit defeat and just give up.  However, David, my coach, and my gym mates had always been my biggest critiques and yet my biggest supporters.  When I shared that thought with Shahidah, she knew exactly what I meant.  Shahidah’s experience with boxing was dotted with an equal amount of joy, tears, hardship, defeat and victory.  In her words, the sport was “easy to pick up but hard to master.”  Her learning was a continuous journey and each time she entered the ring, the bar would be set higher. 

 

Ultimately, Shahidah hopes to be ranked in the world before she stops competing.  She also hopes to be actively involved in the process of scouting boxing talent and training them to be better than she was.

 

Shahidah won me with her authenticity and her humility.  I have developed a better understanding of the struggles and sacrifices that boxers make, particularly with female boxers like her.  Not only do I have a lot more respect for females in combat sports now, I have even more respect for each minute I spent in the ring with my coach.  It may be a long and hard journey for me, but it is even harder for boxers like Shahidah who are committed to making boxing a professional career.

 

Singapore Fighting Championship

 

Shahidah will make history as Singapore’s first professional boxer.  She makes her professional debut at the second instalment of Singapore Fighting Championship on 20^th February.  The event is sanctioned by the World Boxing Foundation.  For more information about the event, do visit https://www.facebook.com/singaporefightingchampionships/

 
Photo credits:  All Photos accompanying this post were provided by David Ash, www.SingaporeMaven.com @SingaporeMaven
 

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Boxing and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

 

 

Living My Dream

I love the month of February.  Even in tropical Singapore, I feel the season of Spring in the air. There seems to be that much more laughter, more family gatherings, and more fun dinners with friends.  In fact, these 3 months from December through to February were months of fabulous revelry.  I celebrated the close of an awesome year in December and the start of an even more awesome year in January with Christmas and New Year celebrations.  The good news is that  the celebrations continue  in February, as we celebrate love, family, and friendships with Valentine’s Day and the Chinese New Year.  People have whirlwind romances at this time, I have a whirlwind calendar of never-ending activities ranging from weddings, meet-up with friends, family parties, workshops that I conducted and then some.

 

However, it was more than just the eating, drinking and general merry-making.  These were the months I celebrated my definition of living the dream as the new year opened. 

Dad, looked much healthier than just a year before when he had suffered a stroke just before Christmas.  He managed to enjoy a glass of wine with me at our family Christmas Eve dinner and was happy to just sit there to take in the cacophony of chatter and laughter amongst our family while my 2 year old nephew attempted to put some christmas cake in his glass of wine.

 

Mum had been suffering from a painful shoulder but when we had it checked, we were assured it was just a strained rotator cuff which was quite a common ailment for people her age.  That was a relief for me.  However it also reminded me about the importance of self-care and the need to listen to my body when all that training at the gym plus the late nights of running my consultancy  after working hours, could get all too much for me.  I was reminded of this yet again, when I got sick with the stomach flu recently for almost a week.  I took to catching up on my sleep over a weekend and did absolutely nothing for 2 days just to give my body some rest.  

 

Joel, who had been a pain in the butt for months when he regressed to a stage of teenage rebelliousness at the age of 21, finally saw the light and learnt the meaning of opened communication, honesty and respect within the family. He grew up overnight and became all of 21 years old again when he reconciled with us through a rather public apology for behaving like an ass. All forgiven. 

 

David got finally inspired by my fitness journey to start taking up boxing lessons in December as well as Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes in February.  That made  training at the gym more fun for the both of us. He has not accidentally sat on anyone's head yet, so all seems good so far.  We not only share our love for the gym, we have been each other’s moral conscience when it comes to choice of food too.  I am looking forward to a  healthier and fitter hubby by the end of this year. 

 

As much joy as these months brought us, we also had our fair share of tears.  Ozzy passed on  a couple of weeks ago and the family was inconsolable.  Ozzy had been David’s favourite fur-friend and a very important member of our family.  Although he was tiny, his loss just left such a huge and irreplaceable void in our hearts.  I believed that the other 2 mutts at home felt the same.  Zak and Bailey looked quite confused for about a week or so.  We are still grieving but we celebrate Ozzy’s life with us, the fun we had together and the unconditional love that he had given us, and with immense gratitude.

 

I think the experiences of these few months can be encapsulated into a single message, urging me to treasure each moment, no matter the circumstance. Living the dream means many things to many people.  To my friends who are professional Mixed Martial Arts fighters, living the dream means the ability to travel the world to fight on a world stage with highly skilled and experienced fighters.  To my friends who are professional Tarot readers, living the dream means quitting their day jobs to focus on a professional career of reading for their clients on a daily basis, teaching the art of Tarot to students, designing and creating their own tarot decks, writing Tarot books and traveling the world to conduct talks and workshops. To a client who was a local head of communications at a big company who got retrenched but was called back by her boss to take on a new role as global head of social media recently, she was living the dream. She packed up her belongings, lock, stock and barrel and made that brave move across the ocean to live in a new country to take up that role.  

 

To me, I am living the dream too and this is how I define mine.  I am finally getting much fitter and healthier through my new found passions of boxing and muay thai.  I am surrounded by an imperfectly perfect family filled with so much love.  I work with a bunch of crazy but fun girls who have been bringing sunshine into the office everyday no matter how difficult our days may be.  I am able to effectively run an intuitive consultancy after my work hours and continue to help numerous clients with my Tarot and Numerology skills. I am still writing and contributing articles whenever I have spare time, not out of the pressure of deadlines but out of my love for sports and MMA. I finally found my balance in life that many of my peers are still searching for.  Am I living the dream or what?

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Muay Thai and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

 

I Gave Myself Permission To Have A Break

My Month Of Rest

This was supposed to be my month of rest.  Apart from experiencing a meltdown moment over a Christmas tree last week, practicing a few elbow moves while doing Christmas shopping at the mall, and annoying my creative agency by playing creative director again over a very small project,  I actually had a wee bit of rest.

I gave myself a break from writing MMA-related or Tarot related articles.  When I felt compelled to write, I chose to write softer articles that could inspire my readers to make the right health and fitness choices.    

I was also selective about accepting Tarot reading engagements at corporate events. Last year, I was inundated with so many events and teaching workshops  in December that I hardly spent time with the family on weekends.  This year,  I took on less events and was thankful I did, especially when we had a couple of weddings in the family, my granny’s birthday, and a number of Christmas party invitations.  I would not have had the ability to juggle too many commitments.  Even when it came to my boxing training at the gym, I was thankful for a wee bit of rest when my boxing coach spent a couple of weeks traveling and was called up for reservist training.  I had not stop going to the gym, and instead, focused on strength and conditioning which I badly needed.

Bracing For A Busy 2015 

I believed that this period of rest was needed to get me ready for an extremely busy first quarter of 2015.  Apart from all the projects that I had to focus on at work early next year,  we also had several writing and photography assignments lined up which will see us traveling to Bangkok and Jakarta, and I have got plans for doing a week of intensive Muay Thai training in Phuket thereafter.  Moreover, I am planning some exciting lineup of Numerology workshops in partnership with a few creative souls and am quite excited about it.  Just the thought of meandering through these projects coming up in the first quarter of 2015, was enough to overwhelm me but I will cross the bridge when I come to it.

So what did I do during my break?

Focusing On The Family And Me

• I took Mom shopping.  We indulged in a spot of Christmas shopping and an extravagant lunch.  It gave us the opportunity to have a mother-daughter chat about everything under the sun, we took countless nauseating selfies and had a bit of a laugh about everything.   I wanted to be able to spend an entire day with Mom without burying my face in my blackberry to respond to the never-ending flood of emails.

• I participated at a festive pop-up market, the Goddess Marketplace, where I spent the day doing Tarot and Numerology readings for the New Year.  The readings were a hit and  my greatest gratification was the fact that I made new friends in the process.  I wanted to do readings in an environment of like-minded, creative and talented souls who were there to make new friends too, as they created awareness for their craft, and not be pressured by the constraints of time which was often a limitation for me as I rushed from back to back private client readings in person to  skype readings at home on a nightly basis.

• I had not stop writing. Instead, I wrote only what I wanted to write.  I worked on articles that I felt would inspire and add value to others.  So I wrote articles that focused on the fitness and nutritional regimen of people who were professional athletes as well as recreational fitness enthusiasts.  I wanted to write in a way where I would not be pressured by demands and deadlines of  events and egos of people I had to interview for content.

• I went out with a few of my colleagues for a nice afternoon away from the office, just enjoying a cup of tea and a girlie conversation.  Instead of arguing with or moaning to these colleagues about the obstacles we were facing in some of our projects, we decided to just enjoy the moment, take it slow, and make our time with each other count towards building a better collegiate environment when we got back to the office after.

• I attended my cousins’ weddings.  Two of my cousins had decided to get married a few weeks apart from each other.  It gave the family a reason to come together to celebrate these nuptials.  We spent so little time throughout the year catching up with each other because of our busy schedules, yet within a few weeks, we seemed to be seeing more of each other and enjoying conversations with each other as if we had not been apart at all throughout the year.  In fact, we will be seeing each other again soon as Mum will be hosting her pre-Christmas family lunch this Sunday, and I will be hosting the ubiquitous Ash Family Christmas Eve dinner.  

• I focused on myself for once.  Instead of attending every event that I was invited to, or participating in every activity that I was previously lined up for, I picked and chose the ones I wanted to be at.  Some of my Saturday afternoons were spent  just enjoying a long nap.  I guess it was a way my body and mind was hollering for me to give it a rest.  So I did.

I Gave Myself Permission To Have A Break 

I woke up to something during this break.  Often, my friends and family would ask how I could juggle my time between a full time career as a marketing and PR professional, my intuitive consultancy business, my freelance writing assignments, my travels and my kickboxing training. 

Honestly, how busy I wanted to be is all within my control.  I could choose to slow down on my activities if I wanted to.  If I chose to be extremely  busy multi-tasking on so  many projects, that would be because I enjoyed them tremendously.  And at times like these, I would listen to my mind and body to step back and give myself permission to have a break.

I am enjoying my break till the year end, and I am enjoying it tremendously because I do deserve it.

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Muay Thai and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

Clowning about with the hubby at my cousin's wedding

Clowning about with Mum while out doing Christmas shopping

Clowning about with granny on her birthday

Clowning about with Team Ash at yet another cousin's wedding

Er....Just Clowns....

Fighting To Keep My Passion For Writing

I love writing. I love writing my blog, I love writing about the woo-woo spiritual stuff that the other side  of me writes about regularly, and  I love writing about sports – Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) in particular.  

Yes I do have a clandestine love affair for the sport and secretly wished I was 25 years younger so that I could take down the trash-talkers I write about most of the time.  However, that is of course just a dream and my husband's nightmare.  The Universe is so perfectly clever, knowing that my brash and callous nature would cause me to lose a kneecap in the cage that it had decided to get me to concentrate on my day job, run my business and just for the fun of it, get my ass into the gym to pretend to fight like Cris Cyborg or Connor McGregor while I write about fighters who try very hard to be Cris Cyborg and Connor McGregor.

Lately however, I have been getting slightly dispassionate, uninspired and disillusioned.  You see, in the course of writing about my favorite sport, I keep reading the same stuff about fighters, how they train, what they eat, how they cut weight, and how they want to "beat the crap out of their opponent" in their upcoming fights. And horrors, i discovered myself writing the same thing too.  My passion gradually waned when my articles were written from interviews that are orchestrated like the script of a governmental speech.  The articles began to look similar and read like it was the manual of a new  kitchen appliance.  I started to question my journalistic integrity and wondered if I could have written that piece a little differently.

I was trained in creative journalism.  No, it is not about the skill of sensationalizing an event as mundane as the opening of a new jar of candy that is expected in most tabloids.  It is about creatively thinking of unique story angles that a reader would find valuable to read.  In this world of combat sports, I am bored of the same repetitions about being trained by world champions when my readers want to get to know the true human being behind the gloves. I am looking for authenticity. I am looking for truly interesting stories that define the fighters as regular people with substance on top of the guts and skills they display within the cage.

Some of these genuine stories are far and few in between.  

I got excited by the story of a fighter whose family had left his ancestral home when he was just a wee boy, relocating to a foreign land far away, only to make an emotional return many years later to fight for the first time back at his ancestral homeland.  That story had given me a glimpse of the experience of his past that had shaped his character and attitude as an athlete and a fighter.  After publishing that story, I witnessed him losing a fight after being accidentally stomped on by his opponent, yet he accepted that defeat with graciousness, joked about it and moved on, like a champion.  As the writer of that story, I connected the dots of this display of sportsmanship with his childhood experience. 

I was enthused by conversations with fighters who were authentic. One of them was a professional chef who juggled between his day job and  his training efforts as a professional fighter. I knew that interview with him was going to be a lot more fun, the minute he opened our conversation with a joke,” If it all goes pear-shaped, at least I can cook!”  

Even a 16 year old amateur fighter triggered much interest in me because I saw a boy display a lot of humility in spite of his excellent performance in the cage and his winning streak as an amateur fighter. You see, he made me wonder how someone exposed to an industry like this at such a young age, could still hold his own and display that humility so lacking amongst the many that I have encountered. 

When I got to meet my favourite female fighter who was a former Strikeforce Women’s featherweight champion and current Invicta world champion in the featherweight category, I really did not care about how far she had come and what she had done to become a formidable female fighter that is worthy of putting a lousey fighter in her place even at a weight category of 135pounds. And she responded to my yearning for that story with a bit more substance when she spoke about her difficult childhood, and her insecurities.  She even shared that her greatest challenge was dealing with the public's misconceived perceptions about her when they do not know the real person behind her fight persona. She was not afraid to allow me to uncover her vulnerability and I respected her for it.  

Do not get me wrong.  I enjoy talking to real fighters. However, the key word here is REAL.  I crave for authenticity and I think, I can write much better and with a little more passion when I can get to know the real people behind their gloves.  

The photo accompanying this blog post was taken by David Ash, www.singaporemaven.com

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Muay Thai and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

A 16 Year Old Amateur MMA Fighter Can Teach Us So Much About Sportsmanship

I recently filed a story about one of ours, a 16 year old Singaporean schoolboy who is fast making a name for himself in the world of amateur Mixed Martial Arts (MMA).  I am truly proud of him obviously because I am a Singaporean, and I want to give the boy some recognition even when MMA as a sport is sadly lacking much- needed  support and funding from the establishment.

Sim Kai Xiong is fairly new to the amateur MMA scene.  He fought on the amateur card  at Full Metal Dojo 2 on Saturday, 23^rd August in Phuket.  Full Metal Dojo is Phuket's first professional mixed martial arts (MMA) event, put together by its CEO Jon Nutt, to build awareness for the sport in Thailand and provide a platform for an exchange of mixed martial arts skills and experiences amongst professional MMA fighters from all over the world.

Kai Xiong, is a 16 year old Nanyang Junior College student, who is an MMA and boxing protégé currently being trained by head coach Arvind Lalwani and Emalo Urratia at Juggernaut Fight Club in Singapore.    He is a national youth champion, and an amateur MMA prospect who had been training at Juggernaut Fight Club only for the last 7 months.

His last fight was at Rebel Fighting Championship in Singapore where he impressively dominated his opponent and beat him through a submission by an armbar.  At Full Metal Dojo 2, Kai Xiong was the only foreign fighter on the amateur card and his was a difficult fight as his 22 year old Thai opponent put up a series of vicious attacks with his round house kicks.  The fight had to be stopped a few times when the amateur fighters violated the amateur rules with some elbow shots.  Kai Xiong clearly dominated the cage with a very strong ground game though, a strategic move knowing that Muay Thai could potentially be his achilles' heel against his Thai opponent.   He finally won in the 3rd round by the judges' unanimous decision.  

Having watched the young protégé train during my kickboxing training sessions at Juggernaut Fight Club, I had observed this boy's strengths in boxing and grappling. However, beyond his skills, I felt an air of quiet maturity about him.   His maturity as a fighter in spite of his youth, is an edge as he approaches his fights with a lot of composure, determined to always be in control by timing his chances.  When he had to face an older and significantly more experienced Muay Thai expert, I did not see any hint of fear in his eyes.  Although he was cornered by his very experienced coach Emalo Urratia who had won his fight against Seiha Pich at Full Metal Dojo 1 in June this year, Kai Xiong did not display any hint of over-confidence.  In fact, at the Full Metal Dojo 2 weigh-in event, it was obvious that he just wanted to get the show on the road, win this, and then fly back home in time to make it for school on Monday.  When I asked him if he was ready for his fight, he said very confidently, “The team at Juggernaut Fight Club had been working on my overall game. Thanks to them, I am ready for anything."

I liked his quiet confidence founded on his training mantra of No Ego.  While I have come across true sportsmen in professional sports, I wished more athletes and even some professional MMA fighters could have that same quiet confidence and humility as this boy.  

Kai Xiong told me that he detests arrogance in sports.  Like Kai Xiong, I detest arrogance and inauthenticity in sportsmanship.  I have absolutely no respect for "Manufactured Sportsmanship". 

I know of sports organizations which "manufacture" top-tier athletes who obviously turn an event into a biggest pay-per-view just because they manipulate decisions from who should be on the judging panel to who the opponents should be.   

I get annoyed when I hear of sports organizations who pre-select a weaker opponent to be fed to a stronger fighter just because they want to garner positive media interest around the latter.   

I dislike athletes who spent a long time nurturing a base of young fans who watched everything they had said or done in awe, promising to inspire a genuine love for fitness, respect for discipline and determination in sports, only to turn around to tell the world that they want to be the biggest box office hit in Hollywood.   

Most of all, I dislike professional MMA fighters who  talk about the sport of MMA being one that is not about the glitz and glamour, yet turn up at the cage with  pomp and pageantry of a Mardi Gras.

So yes, I am extremely proud of Sim Kai Xiong.  At his tender age of 16, he had started off on the right foot with the right training and the right attitude worthy of a sportsman.  Singapore should indeed be proud of him.  

I have  immense respect for true sportsmanship and an ardent love for MMA, so  I would definitely have my eyes glued on Sim Kai Xiong whom I know will be making it as an excellent MMA fighter in the professional circuit in no time.

The photo accompanying this blog post was taken by David Ash, www.singaporemaven.com

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional for over 20 years.  Due to her love for Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she is also a freelance sports writer on the side, contributing MMA-related articles to several sports media.  She works in partnership with her husband, David Ash, who is an avid sports photographer from www.singaporemaven.com.  She is passionate about Muay Thai and nurtures a dream to fight competitively one day when her coach stops making fun of her.  She is also a psychic intuitive by birth and runs a consultancy that does tarot and numerology readings under her brand, Sun Goddess Tarot.  This blog is affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  

Rolling With Clark Gracie In Sunny Singapore

David's photography adventures had taken me places and exposed me to the 

adrenaline-charged intensity of contact sports in the last couple of years. This had led me to  a clandestine love affair that I have had with Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), and an undying passion for Kickboxing.  

During my Kickboxing training at Juggernaut Fight Club,  the guys would be having their Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) training session alongside me.  I always had fun watching them roll about in a twisted heap, some caught in a head lock, some in a rear choke and others in the midst of a takedown.  While my age had not stopped me from embracing Kickboxing as a passion, I certainly felt that the art of  BJJ should be left to those within the age bracket where they could still get an occasional pre-pubescent breakout of pimples. 

My erroneous perception was put to rest one Sunday afternoon by none other than Clark Gracie, the grandson of Carlos Gracie, the Grand Master and founder of the world famous Gracie Jiu-Jitsu academy.  

Some 15 Jiu-Jitsu enthusiasts of differing ages that spanned from under 10 years old to over 50, turned up for a seminar conducted by Clark Gracie last Sunday, at the Singapore Judo Federation. I was more awed by the vast age span of this group of Jiu-Jitsu students than I was with the different colour belts they had on their gi.

Noticing my inquisitive stare at the little girl warming up at a corner of the mat, Gracie told me that having to deal with this vast age span at the seminar was no different from the training environment he managed back home.   He was particularly adamant that Jiu-Jitsu students who started their training as children should make it a priority to have fun with the sport.  His advice to Jiu-Jitsu coaches training young children, was to always keep their students motivated by appealing to their sense of curiosity and play.   Once the priority scales tipped towards the pressure to win, the training would become a chore and it might take the fun out of the sport.  This advice was applicable even to adult students of Jiu-Jitsu.  Gracie encouraged all Jiu-Jitsu students to allow their body and mind to explore the sport freely and look to increase their knowledge and education of the sport constantly.

As a child, Clark Gracie was asked, "Do u enjoy Jiu-Jitsu?"  He had to think hard before answering the question because he came from a Jiu-Jitsu family.  It was a "family business" and he was, as part of the family, very much a part of it since he was a child.  However, he was brought up with the notion that only when he had fun with Jiu-Jitsu during training and embraced the sport with genuine passion, he could excel in the sport and the will to win would then come easily.

When asked if someone older would find age to be a barrier in his performance as a Jiu-Jitsu student, Gracie said that back home, he had personally known a student who had attained a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu at the age of 70. This student had started training in Jiu-Jitsu in his 50s.   Gracie never believed in age barriers. To him, the only barrier that could possibly limit one from achieving his of her goals as a Jiu-Jitsu student, was ego.

Clark Gracie won me at that point.  He was right on the button with the very mantra I led my Kickboxing training with - No Ego, No Barriers.

The photos accompanying this blog post were taken by David Ash, www.singaporemaven.com

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a Marketing and PR professional by trade and a psychic intuitive by accident who balances her corporate career with running a consultancy providing Tarot and Numerology readings.  She is also passionate about Kickboxing and has no qualms landing a kick to readjust the jewels of anyone who lacks integrity.  She enjoys supporting her husband and avid sports photographer, David Ash from www.singaporemaven.com on his trips around the world as he takes photos at sports events while she does the write-ups  for the various sports media.  This blog is affectionately named "The Crazy AngMo" as she is married to one, although she has not yet explained to THE Ang Mo that when translated, he has been labeled  “the bloke with ginger hair”.  Together, they create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.

No Barriers, No Fear, No Ego - The Juggernaut Fight Club Way

Falling In Love With Kickboxing

If you have been following my blog, you would know that health and fitness ranked very high on my list of priorities.  Many have told me that time constraints and conflicting priorities prevent them from doing more to get healthier and fitter.  I felt otherwise.  Having to juggle a very fast-paced life as a marketeer at a financial MNC, running a business in between, and managing the demands of family,  were the very reasons I gave 200% to my health and fitness.  I had to be fit and healthy enough to juggle these priorities as effectively as possible.

A big part of my fitness regime was kickboxing which I had fallen in love with when I was introduced to the sport a few months ago after my knee made full recovery post surgery.    I was so fuelled with passion for the sport that I even enrolled at a Muay Thai gym in Phuket to undergo training with a pro-fighter and Muay Thai coach in June this year.  I have also lined up plans to go visit my Thai coach for intensive training sessions  in Phuket every 2 months.  Having survived my first training in Phuket, with nothing more than a bruised elbow and a sprained foot, I fell irretrievably in  love with the sport enough to want to be better at it.  I came back to Singapore with a conviction to lift my fitness level with a 5-day-a-week work-out routine that combined strength conditioning, cardio-fitness and kickboxing training, and I briefed my personal trainers to design a regime that focused on helping me become a better kickboxer.

Juggernaut Fight Club

David and I talked a lot about my interest in kickboxing and the support I needed to sustain my interest and better myself in the sport. He was naturally worried and his concern centered on the fact that I was older. I developed my interest in the sport at an age when most were careful about long term impact to their bodies. Having had numerous health issues and a knee surgery 2 years ago did not help my cause.  So he called his contacts in the industry for whom he did a lot of sports photography work to get advice while I did my research to find out more about some of the specialized gyms in Singapore that offered functional training in kickboxing and Mixed Martial Arts (MMA).  That was when I chanced upon Juggernaut Fight Club. If I had the courage to walk into a Muay Thai training regime in Phuket with my eyes opened,   I was not going to allow the more intensive training and the younger, fitter folks who had pro-fight experience under their belts at Juggernaut Fight Club intimidate me.
  
Before signing up with Juggernaut Fight Club, I read the reviews on it and checked out their videos on YouTube.  What was important for me, was that I picked a coach who was focused on my interest, my development and my safety.  That was why I picked Arvind Lalwani.  Okay, I could not lie but his instagram profile was reassuring too.  It described him as “ Head coach at the best fight gym in Singapore…national wrestler, loves cake and produce fighters.”  That won me over.   I then contacted Arvind to prepare him for the  heart attack of potentially having in his hands, a much older and crazy woman with a plastic knee who wanted to be trained to fight like Ronda Rousey in one year.  I swore, when Arvind met me for the first time, my psychic mind saw a huge question mark in his head that read, “How did I end up with this fruitcake?”  However, he was so reassuring and took the time to understand what my fitness goals were and what I had been doing so far to get there.

Arvind The Juggernaut

Through my research, I found out that Arvind was a highly decorated fighter. He was the first Singaporean to snag a gold medal  in an international wrestling competition, and he competed in the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) as well as the MMA arenas. He fought professionally in 2010 in the Mettle games and had also headed the national boxing team. When he established Juggernaut Fight Club, he produced winning fighters who represented club and country at the One Fighting Championships  (OneFC) and Pacific X-treme Combat (PXC). He was constantly training his fighters for competitions.  As I wrote this, one of his fighters just returned from the OneFC fight in Taipei and more were getting trained for the upcoming Rebel Fighting Championship on 1 August.

His list of achievements was enough to make me sprint out of that door, the very first day I visited his gym. To make matters worse, when I glanced around the gym for the first time, I realized this was for real.  It was a serious fighters’ gym.  Training was in session then. The young blokes who were rolling around the floor, while throwing punches at each other, were all in “fight-prep” mode.  I wanted to turn and run but Arvind’s frame was blocking the doorway.   A little voice of in-confidence within me crept up to whisper a disconcerting question, “What are you doing here, Jo?  This place is not for you.  You are old, unfit, soft and completely not suited for the sport. Go downstairs for a beer.”

I looked around for girls, hoping that maybe with another female nearby who looked equally like a deer in the headlights, I might have felt quite at home.  However, everyone there at that time were blokes and the gym was not a regular gym with “pussy stationery bikes and half-assed cross- trainers”,  it was a functional training gym focused on fight training and well-equipped with everything that a pro-fighter needed to get fight-ready. 

After speaking to Arvind, I connected enough with him to understand his training style, and I caught a glimpse of his rapport with the guys he had been training at the gym.  That was the rapport and trust I was looking for.  And he said to me very firmly, "At Juggernaut, there are no Egos."   So, I summoned the nerve to commit myself to serious kickboxing training at Juggernaut Fight Club and I have not looked back since.

Training with Arvind had been such a breath of fresh air.  Every minute of it was about perfecting the technique, right from the start of getting me into the right fight stance.  We went back to the basics of every kickboxing move in spite of the fact that I had been training for a few months prior.  He made me re-learn everything ...his way.  He explained each move with precision and stressed that the importance of getting the technique right was to prevent the potential of my getting injured while delivering a powerful blow. He was unrelenting.  When I was near frustration or thoroughly exhausted in between drills, he continued to egg me on and challenged me to push past my pain barriers.  He would not accept anything less than full commitment to a training session and he made it very clear that he was with me all the way no matter how difficult it got.

My Fitness Goals

"So what are my fitness goals?", Arvind and everyone who mattered asked me.  

When I started out playing rugby in my younger days, everyone told me that a prop forward could never and should never attempt to score a try.  I should stick to my role as a prop forward and clear the way for the back row to score that try.   I proved them wrong and I did score tries after all at tournaments.

When I came out of a knee surgery with everyone telling me that I would never be able to run again, I proved them wrong and completed my half marathon last year.  When my knee made full recovery and everyone told me that I should just stick to doing safe exercises like swimming and basic gym work, I proved them wrong and picked up kickboxing.  

When I picked up kickboxing, everyone told me I was crazy as I had a less than perfect knee, and I was too old and not fit or fast enough.  I know for a fact that I am too old for amateur boxing competitions perhaps but I told Arvind that he had to get me into a ring one day, no matter what it took, even if it was just white collar boxing or exhibition fights.  I wanted to prove to everyone that nobody should be limited by barriers, by fear or by ego.  I am not afraid of pain, I am not afraid of taking hits from anyone, I am not afraid of falling and I am definitely not afraid of working hard towards my goals.

I felt the Universe had  guided me into Juggernaut Fight Club, smacked me with a bit of a shock when I realized what I was in for, and then salved me with the assurance that Arvind was the man who was going to get me to my goal.  I believed that I could not have picked a better coach.  Arvind produced fighters.  He ran a serious fight gym.  Yet, he gave me his time and commitment, and he made me feel that I deserved to be a good  kickboxer one day.   I truly respected Arvind for what he had done for the sport and was proud to have him as my coach.  However, the biggest reason that I committed myself to Juggernaut Fight Club and his training was that like me, he had so much determination, a never-say-never attitude, and was always ready for a challenge no matter how big or small it was.  If he could commit his time and effort to me as someone so new to the sport who was completely way past her prime, then I was committed to ensuring I gave 200% to my training with him.

I am a firm believer that in life, there are definitely NO BARRIERS.

I will leave you with an article I read that inspired me to follow my dreams and work towards my goal regardless of age, fitness level, injury and other limitations: http://news.distractify.com/people/17-important-life-lessons-that-martial-arts-will-teach-you/?v=1

You can find out more about Arvind Lalwani and Juggernaut Fight Club at http://juggernautfightclub.com/

The photos accompanying this blog post was taken by my very talented best friend, husband and sports photographer extraordinaire, David Ash.  You can find out more about his photography work at  www.singaporemaven.com

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, her passion for kickboxing and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" which when translated, has labeled him one with “ginger hair”.  And you know what we all thought of gingers right?  He thinks he is blonde, but in a certain light, I think he is more a ginger.  Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.

I hate push-ups but I was told they were good for me.

Trying to avoid dislodging my coach's nipple.

My coach Arvind, and I.  Today, he is in a good mood.

Training with that nuisance of a band on.

Making that elbow work harder