Championing The Cause Of The Asian Women's Welfare Organization

Last week, I visited a  Volunteer Workers Organization called Asian Women's Welfare Organization (AWWA).  Embarrassingly, I did not realize that the office complex of the AWWA was located across the road from where I lived, tucked at the end of a long road right behind a school.  I had for quite a long time, thought that AWWA was an organization that supporter only underprivileged women.  I was so surprised at the wide spectrum of beneficiaries that they had supported, including kids with special needs, the disadvantaged elderly, and they even provided caregiver support.  

Kids With Special Needs

AWWA ran a school for kids with special needs, as well as an after school program.  They also housed rehabilitative facilities for these kids.  What I was most impressed with was that their main focus was not to just raise funds for the disadvantaged and nearly forgotten segment of the population but to train and educate them in such a way as to facilitate their integration back into the community.  I had the privilege of visiting the kids in the midst of their after school program.  The kids were truly fun to be with. They were like sunshine, so warm, friendly, enthusiastic and so welcoming.  They chattered non-stop about their day as they put a puzzle or read a picture book together. They were happier and bouncier than regular kids, and there was definitely no question that they could integrate well with the community as they grow up to become productive adults.....if and only when the community would accept them and acknowledge their disabilities with compassion and generosity.

Caregiver Support

Also, realizing that while the disadvantaged benefitted from the compassion of many people, the caregivers were often forgotten.  These caregivers needed a network of support, counselling and training, for which the team at AWWA had been proactively providing.  What was most unfortunate was that while the establishment funded most of the support needed for the disadvantaged, they would not provide the funding for AWWA's effort towards supporting caregivers.  I was familiar with the needs of caregivers.  Mom had suffered depression, frustrations  a sore arm and back pains, when she took care of Dad.  I hired a nursing - trained helper for Mom so that she would not need to feel isolated and lonely as she took care of Dad.  However, there are thousands of others out there like Mom who might be bearing the burden alone.  So what AWWA had been developing to help caregivers was truly noble. I just wished there were more people who knew about it, hence my intention for writing this blogpost.

Help Needed

Out of the compassion of your heart, when you are attempting to make a difference in people's lives, whether by volunteering your time or donating some money, please remember the wonderful work that AWWA does.   I certainly am, whether through my work as a marketing communications head or through my passion as an intuitive reader running Sun Goddess Tarot.

About The Writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com

These beautiful artwork were done
by the kids with special needs. 

Add caption

Creativity and talent
have no boundaries and limitations.

"Happiness is like a butterfly which when pursued,
is always beyond our grasp, but if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

"In order to be open to creativity,
one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude.
 One must overcome the fear of being alone." - Rollo May

My List Of Happy Soul Moments

One of my intuitive coaches Danielle Dove inspired me today when I chanced upon one of her Facebook posts.  In that post, she asked, "What's on your list of happy soul moments?"  She then posted a hand-written note which had a listing of 5 things she gave and 5 things she had received that day which she had considered as her blessings.

Writing Down My List Of Blessings

So that prompted me to write down my own list of 5 things that I had given this week, and 5 things I had received and felt were my blessings.  I spent a good 2 hours thinking through these things in my list, not because I could not find any content for that list, but more so because I had so many and did not know how to prioritise them.  So I just listed down what came into my mind first. Logically, that should be a reflection of what I was most grateful for, because they appeared first in my mind, right? A snapshot of that list is attached below.

The Harmony Between Giving And Receiving

This evening, I had the chance to re-evaluate this list and felt a-washed with a lot of gratitude because for one, the list titled "What I gave" had 5 items listed on it but the list titled "What I had received" had 6 items on it.  I made a mistake.  The rule was to only jot down 5 items on each list but I did not realise I had added in a 6th item. But was it really a mistake?  Subconsciously, I believed that my heart and mind were in consensus that I had more opportunities to receive than I had given.  I promptly made a mental note to correct that in future.

Being Present

Then something struck me as I started thinking about that list I wrote.  Much of what I had given of myself was my time and energy.   I felt the best way to ensure that I had more opportunities to give, was to draw boundaries and have the courage to say NO.  By saying NO, then I could give more of my time to being PRESENT with the people who mattered.  So this is the list of what I gave today:

1) This evening, even when I was invited to a business cocktail,  which lasted till 8pm, I drew my boundaries upfront and informed the gracious host that I had to take my leave earlier at 7.30pm as it was my "date night" with the hubby.

2) One of my friends had been going through some personal issues at home and while she needed my help and advice, I had been "very difficult to track down".  We missed calls with each other, and we could not find a time suitable to visit each other.  She even had to resort to making an appointment with me.  So this afternoon, I made time to give her a call so that I could  listen to her as she discussed her issues with me.  

3)  12 May, the hubby and I would be celebrating our 13th or 14th wedding anniversary and his 50th birthday.  I would have then just gotten back from our week long vacation in Sri Lanka, so I knew he would understand if I told him that I wanted to take the day off on his birthday so that I could spend the day with Mom instead. I wanted to be present for Mom, spoil her and pamper her, and more importantly, give her a break from taking care of Dad.

Now within these 3 scenarios, they were opportunities presented for me to give my time and energy.  Equally so, I felt that they were blessings presented to me too:

1)  I was blessed with great conversation and laughter with the hubby at our date night.

2) I was blessed with my friend's full trust in me as she poured her heart out to me about her issues.  I was privileged to be able to help her as best as I could.  Where I could not, I was glad I provided her with a listening ear.

3) I was blessed with a very understanding hubby, who knew when to give me space to bond with my Mom.  He was never possessive of my time, and ever generous with ideas about where I could take her out to lunch.  I am so excited about my day with Mom when I can bond with her over a scrumptious lunch as we laugh about my childhood days or about Dad's antics. 

So you see?  I have now got a well-balanced list of what I had given, and what I had been blessed with.  Result!

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com

My List Of Happy Soul Moments

Danielle's List Of Happy Soul Moments

Giving My Awesome Cafe A Second Chance

Another Visit To My Awesome Cafe

Last week, I wrote a blog post lamenting the need for business owners to follow through on their fabulous ideas with  great action plans right through to the flawless delivery of their services or products.   

In that post, I mentioned My Awesome Café, one of Singapore’s newest and hippest cafés that had been making waves amongst professionals working in the Central Business District who were gagging for a moment of peace and relaxation as they sipped their coffees and tucked into their awesome salads, quiche, sandwiches or desserts.  I was quite unhappy with the slow service and wrong orders that some of us had experienced.  And I swore then never to visit My Awesome Café again.

However, when it came to desserts, or broadly, when it came to any kind of food, I always broke my promises.  My personal trainer and my heart surgeon would be familiar with this.

Today, I had decided to don my rather rare but widely welcomed calm composure, and gamely paid My Awesome Café another visit.  I attributed this irrational behavior to my uncontrollable weakness for desserts, and my soft spot for the café’s intrepid owner, Franck. 

The Second Chance

The service was still slow on the second visit, even though we were there at the tail-end of the busy lunch hour and wanted to just relax into a cup of coffee and a cake.  I sauntered to the dessert shelf and Franck gave me a rundown on all his awesome desserts.  I always enjoyed talking to Franck.  When I told him I might have the "Awegasm In A Cup", he would retort smugly, " Good choice!  That would be me then." 

I mustered a lot of self-control to order only 2 types of dessert – the pineapple upside down cake which I had lovingly labelled "Sex On A Plate" and the bread and butter pudding.  Both did not disappoint.  The pineapple upside down cake in particular, was served moist and warm and had generous chunks of pineapple in it.   In fact, I regretted not ordering 2 pineapple upside down cakes.  Maybe, next time, I might even pre-order the entire tray in fact. 

I soon forgot how long it took for the coffee to arrive.   Franck was quickly forgiven.  I was too busy enjoying the desserts that I forgot to even order my own cup of coffee while the rest of the girls in my party were served theirs.  

So you see, a customer could be so easily pleased if only one thing...just one thing..could be gotten right.  In My Awesome Cafe's case, there were two. One was the awesome desserts, the other was the awesome attitude of its owner Franck who managed to explain the menu items,  engaged the customers, took their orders and cleared the tables even when faced with the mounting pressure of his kitchen staff not turning around the food service fast enough and irate customers who just did not have the time to wait for a salad.

I am sure the café will soon creep back into my list of favorite chill-out places to go again.   I promptly chided myself for expecting perfection when I was there for awesomeness.  Perhaps, I needed to learn to separate the two.

When I am braver and calmer still, I will head back there for lunch to give its signature Awesome Salad another chance too.

About The Writer

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader, numerologist and astrologer, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com

My Awesome Cafe's logo and vision

Sex On A Plate: Photo taken by Chia Seow Wee

Follow Through

My Uncool Experience With The Press

2 weeks ago, an embarrassing situation happened to me. I agreed to an interview with a journalist for a national newspaper on a topic close to my heart, health and wellness.  When the story was published, I was so embarrassed with the photograph they had published which depicted me in a Surya Namaskar position.  However, I did not look like a composed yoga practitioner in that photo, but more like a walrus waiting to be fed. What was worse was that the journalist was not on message and left out 99% of the content of my story to focus on my age, weight and weightloss goals.   I should have known better as a PR professional not to trust that the coverage would be aligned to my intent.  I should have followed through with questions to the journalist to ensure he understood the key messages I had expressed earlier to him.  So I blamed myself for how that story turned out. I should have followed through.

My “Un-Awesome” Experience At My Awesome Cafe

For a week now,  I had heard my team at work grumbling about one of Singapore’s hottest new cafes called My Awesome Café, that clearly did not deliver up to their promise of being awesome.   My first visit there a few weeks ago left me with a less than favorable impression of their service but an awesome impression of their desserts that came with awesome names like the rather orgasmic “Orgasm In A Cup”.  “Orgasm In A Cup” which was actually a rich chocolate pudding, could not possibly get past foreplay as it was a tiny timble-sized serving.  However, it tasted awesome.  In fact, it tasted more than awesome.   I enjoyed it so much that I went on to try the other desserts like the pineapple upside down cake.  Now, if that chocolate pudding was “Orgasm In A Cup”, the pineapple upside down cake was “Sex On A Plate”.  While I enjoyed the desserts, my “coitus interruptus” came in the form of their service.  It was painfully slow and peppered with orders that were mixed up to the chagrin of other customers that had been waiting for the last hour and a half.

Today, the team had decided to give My Awesome Café another chance and went there for lunch.  I was unfortunately bound to the stupid stationary bike at the gym, while my personal trainer brandished his whip.  I could not leave for my dose of orgasmic desserts at My Awesome Café.  So, the girls brought back a take-away box of the café’s signature Awesome salad which was supposed to come with roast chicken, duck rillette and smoked salmon on a bed of fresh greens.  I searched over and under the greens but no duck rillette could be found.  The guys at My Awesome Café must have forgotten the duck rillette and charged me the full price of $18 for that salad that was just slightly bigger than the size of a timble.  The girls also complained incessantly about the slow service and they swore never to visit the café again.

So what went wrong?

I blamed it on the lack of follow through.  The team at My Awesome Café had a great concept.  Fabulous food, gleaming smiles on the faces of the waiting staff, and a cosy rustic décor which could have been mistaken for my grandmother’s kitchen. I loved it.  However without following through on a great concept with the right number of waiting or kitchen staff that could cater to the busy lunchtime crowd in the heart of the Central Business District, I was not sure how long My Awesome Café can stay awesome.

Follow Through

The basic foundation of delivering to expectations was  really having the vision and drive to follow through.

I had a golf instructor some years back who often barked at me at the 15^thhole of the golf course when I was exhausted, hot and bothered, “Follow through on your swing, Jo.  That was a lazy swing.”  I used to think that he was just annoying and gagging to get to the beers at the clubhouse but I understood  later that that was critical to my game.

My rugby coach used to holler from the sidelines, “Follow through with the ball! Use it or lose it!”  He became my husband years later and that allowed me to use the phrase back at him when he put his dirty clothes around the laundry basket instead of putting them in the laundry basket.  I would scream at him to follow through on his promise to keep the home tidy.  So I had grown to be quite fond of the phrase.

These days, I had been using the phrase quite a lot at work too. I used it when some brilliant idiot had thought of a supposedly creative idea but left it hanging in mid-air whilst expecting a fellow  colleague to telepathically pick up on his expectations to implement  his or her supposedly creative idea without a plan, resource or budget.  Needless to say, the idea was of course implemented with the fanfare of an egg and spoon race at a kindergarten.  That was when I would bark at my loudest, “Can someone with an IQ above 7 please follow through with this idea and turn it into a viable action plan in future?”

When I mentored my students at Tarot and Numerology, we often discussed case studies on the readings they had been doing.  When I noticed that one or two of the students had provided nothing else more than a very detailed and accurate interpretations of each Tarot card that had been picked for a spread, I would encourage them to follow through with the consultation by interpreting the cards to the clients’ situations and provide clear advice and options instead so that the clients could make informed decisions on how they should be managing their respective situations.  It was very important for me that my students learnt to follow through with the intent of turning a reading into an advice-centric consultation.

I found that in spite of all the fabulous ideas and vision that many people had when they started a business, many failed miserably when it came to the “follow through”.  I have had friends who started their businesses with beautifully designed business-cards, shiny offices that were renovated by award-winning interior designers, and well-developed websites that were search-optimized and came complete with CRM capabilities.  However, they ended up spending the next year wondering why their businesses stayed stagnant.  It was so telling that they had not followed through from their initial vision to create a practical business plan that was pegged against measurable KPIs.

Take Ownership

Instead of putting the blame on others or on the lack of help, support and resource for anything that did not go as planned, I would suggest that you take ownership for your own plans, ideas and vision by ensuring that you follow through at every stage to manage your own expectations for what a successful outcome may look like to you.

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com

So embarrassing.  I looked like a walrus waiting to be fed some fish....sighhh

Orgasmic food at My Awesome Cafe Singapore.  I hope they better their service soon or else I will have to look for my orgasm from alternative sources.  Photo credit: Chia Seow Wee

Reclaiming My Space

A few days ago, David posted this picture on Facebook that got me thinking about my constant desire to reclaim my personal space.  Do not get me wrong.  I enjoyed doing things with him.  In the last 13 years of our marriage, we did so many things together from playing rugby to planning yoga trips, to praying for the rescue-car to pick us up midway through the half marathon.  All these years, we often discovered new things about each other as "BFFs" should.  We seldom did anything without each other.  We were always "Team Ash".  We had never felt the need for space from each other too.  

Reclaiming My Space

Today, we are at a stage of our lives where we regarded ourselves as "pre-empty nesters" living with almost a figment of imagination of a son who only showed up in our room at wee hours of the morning to steal socks from David's drawer.   We were very thankful for the time and opportunity to re-discover new passions and hobbies. Some, were discovered with each other, and some on our own. Increasingly though, I felt the need to reclaim my personal space. I believe, in many ways, David felt the need to reclaim his as well.   The great thing about marrying my BFF was that besides finishing each other's sentences and pushing each other up the steep and rocky hills of life, we knew when to give each other space, and when to share our respective spaces from time to time.

In recent years, I  pursued a more spiritual lifestyle of practicing yoga and daily meditations whilst running a wee metaphysical business on the side called Sun Goddess Tarot.  David pursued his passion of rock music and photography more ardently than ever, whilst running a wee photography business on the side called Singapore Maven Photography.  For a while,  I felt that there was plenty of space within which we could indulge in  our individual creative self expression.  At the same time, when we were called by clients to "do our thing" at events together, we had so much fun.  This was truly bliss.

Sharing My Space

When I saw the photo posted by David on Facebook, I made an attempt to recollect the times we participated proactively in each other's passions without invading each other's personal space.  These thoughts slowly came back to me, and warmed my heart like a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows on a rainy night.  I would like to share them here:

1) I often jokingly called David my "unicorn guardian", to which he would retort, " Shhh! You cannot go around calling me that. What if the rugby guys heard it?" You see, because I had been pursuing a spiritual life tapping into my intuitive abilities to help my clients, I had exposed myself to a lot of negative energy that drained me constantly.  David protected me from these by encouraging me to get out more to feel the grass beneath my feet so that I could ground myself better.  He sometimes even drove me, before sunrise, to the beach to meditate to the sounds of the wave as the sun was rising.  He knew I was often hardened by my ego and worried about what people thought of my "woo-woo" crazy ways.   So he might join me from time to time, to feel the grass beneath his feet too.   He was in my space.  And I needed him there for a purpose.

2) I sometimes joined him at his gigs when he jammed with friends.  During those moments, I could see that I was but the second wife.  His first wife was his guitar. He held and cradled it with so much love and played it like a teasing Don Juan. He often had that intense look about him when he was playing with the band.  However, I also caught him beaming from ear to ear when I was there, sharing his space.  This was because I had a purpose.  I clapped the loudest.  I whistled loudly when he played some of my favourite songs.  I hopped around the band like a rabid hare with my camera, taking lots of photographs, so that I could proudly post them up on Facebook and Twitter.  I enjoyed being in his space.

3) This afternoon when we visited Mum and Dad, and had lunch with them.  David gave me space to be that 12 year old again, chomping noisily on my favourite food that Mum had lovingly cooked.  Occasionally he would look at me in horror but dismissed it 5 minutes later when I exposed the Singaporean in me by talking and laughing loudly while my mouth was full of food just because I was happiest when Mum cooked my favourite food for me.  He gave me my space to enjoy that semblance of childhood while I was at Mum and Dad's.  

4) Funny enough, this afternoon while visiting Mum and Dad, I had given David space to do what he enjoyed doing - tinkering with Mum's laptop.  He helped her run the virus scan, cleared her email folders and updated her software.  At the same time to my delight, I overheard a conversation between them which went like this.

Mum: Quick.  You search internet. Please compare different washing machine brands that I wish to buy.

David: Ok, this brand here costs only $499. Very good. It has 1 tick against the list of features.

Mum: No, no. I need one with 3 ticks. Must have 3 ticks!

David: Ok, this other brand costs $505.  It has 3 ticks. I sent you link.

I loved that conversation because I gave my very Scottish husband time and space to bond with my very Chinese mother.  That was a special space.  I left them to it because I would not want to invade their space as they created a Mother-in-law-Son-in-law bond that transcended cultural, ethnic and racial barriers.

Do I need to reclaim my space? I think not.  I know when to share it and when to own it.

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.

His vs Hers

David attempting to be at one with nature

Notice the intense look in David's face when the guitar is in his hands?

David in his element when he jams with the band

That's me doing one of my daily sun salutations in Bali

Things Worth Celebrating

Things Worth Celebrating

I came across The Petite Cadeau’s blog post calling for participation in their linky blog party themed “Things Worth Celebrating”.  I got really excited about it and started putting the word out to fellow blogging friends egging them on to participate in it too.

My enthusiasm stemmed from the numerous magical things that had happened to me in the last few months.  These were things worth celebrating:

• Dad recovered very quickly from his stroke, enough to get discharged on Christmas Eve.  I could never enjoy a Christmas party without him.  Having him there at my Christmas party was the best present I have ever had.

• My business, Sun Goddess Tarot saw a remarkable growth in reputation and clientele.  The breadth of work I have been doing with my business expanded to teaching Tarot and Numerology, and conducting corporate workshops on these subjects.  I had even delivered my first presentation to an international Tarot audience at a conference, sharing my experience on marketing strategies for Tarot businesses.

• Over and on top of running Sun Goddess Tarot, I have a full-time job doing what I  loved  to do  – Marketing and Public Relations.  The best thing about that job was my ability to guide the team at work to create a marketing and public relations machinery within the company that had been regarded by the management as a highly efficient team.  I loved mentoring.  My marketing and public relations experience has happily allowed both my day job and my business to co-exist synergistically.  What is even more amazing is that this evening, because of the sheer hard work of my team, the company won a Bronze award for the best product launch PR campaign at the inaugural Singapore PR Awards 2014.  It was the first time, the company garnered an award for PR in more than 80 years of history.  I was mighty chuffed.

• My son Joel finally accepted that going to nursing school might potentially have limitless possibilities for his future.  He need not have been worried that he would be labeled as Gaylord Focker.  Hence, he had been putting his whole heart and soul into his nursing course, and surprising me every now and then with excellent grades in some of his test papers or projects.

• My husband David turned his passion for photography into a little business as well, much like what I did with Tarot and Numerology.  Through sheer hard work, he had managed to establish a reputation for himself as an events photographer specializing in sports and rock concerts.

The list of things worth celebrating was by no means exhaustive.  These were just some of the key highlights of the last few months.  If I had a lot of time to table all things worth celebrating in detail, a single blog post would not have done it justice.

So, I reviewed once again the mental list of things worth celebrating in my head and realized that what was truly worth celebrating was really, my family.

Here’s What ‘s Truly Worth Celebrating

You see, for all the work and business achievements that were well within my control  because I steered the daily outcomes through team work and effort,  the quirky differences of each of my family members were another matter altogether.  

I found the annoying differences, and the idiosyncrasies  of each and every close family member quite endearing, and they did add even more color to my life.    I often looked to the bosses and colleagues at work, and even clients  for whom I did my Tarot and Numerology readings, for inspiration.  However, right before my eyes, my family members were my greatest inspiration.

• How many times have I called Mum crazy although all she wanted to do was, in her loopy ways, nurture and provide us with as much love as she could?  When she cooked our favorite food, often she modified them with no salt, no oil, no taste, just to help me manage my hypertension. When I was about to reach out for a pinch of salt, she growled at me like a cornered bear. – I celebrate Mum’s Love.

• How many times  I had thought Dad looked defeated by his stroke and dementia?  When I talked to him about his old friends, he could remember all their names.  When I reminded him about his old jokes, he would laugh heartily. He may be weaker from stroke and dementia, but certainly not defeated.  – I celebrate Dad’s indomitable spirit.

• How many times I had thought Joel lacked ambition and determination?  When Joel found joy in talking to his patients at the hospital,  or when he recounted how he helped processed the “last office” of an AIDs patient and felt gratified that the patient did not die alone as Joel was with him, I was pleasantly surprised. – I celebrate Joel’s determination.

• How many times I had thought David was an unromantic Scotsman who would rather club me on the head and haul me into the cave rather than take me out to a nice expensive candlelight dinner?  I was rampaging through my handbag today and found a crumpled little square corner of a serviette.  On it was a drawing of a cute teddy bear which he drew and it said “I love you”.  When I was clearing my camera roll in my Iphone, I came across a photograph of a cup of coffee taken one morning a long time ago.  On it was a heart shape drawn by him across the foam.  As I had been invited to do Tarot readings at the ELLE Singapore event last week, I wore a bracelet accessorized by charms that had Tarot images on it.   I remembered that David got that for me as a present, even when he was vocal with his skepticism about my metaphysical practice and often asked me where I had parked my broom. - I celebrate David's quiet romanticism.

Gratitude

Have you seen that animated movie "Brave" which detailed the adventures of a Scottish princess, Marida,  who  unintentionally  hired a witch to cast a spell on her mother to transform her into a bear just because her one wish was that her "mother would change"?  

I may have more nuts in my family than a fruitcake but I would not want them to change in any way.  Just a handful of people with their little idiosyncrasies could have a major impact on my life and me.

Wouldn’t you agree, they are truly worth celebrating?  To read about the things worth celebrating from the perspective of my fellow bloggers, please visit:  http://www.thepetitcadeau.com/p/things-worth-celebrating.html



About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.

Things Worth Celebrating

The loony Ash Family

Whatever

Whatever

 I used this term often and it had become the “salve” that helped my team at work move on to focus on more important issues when they faced obstacles or came in contact with colleagues that were not willing to play within the  established rules of engagement.

At home, I used it when David and I had differing opinions about certain decisions, or when Joel turned into an  angsty monosyllabic creature after a tiff with his girlfriend.  I used it when the dogs had decided that together, there was a greater chance of opening a packet of crisps that fell off the dining table, when one held on to the edge of the packet and the other tore at it with his teeth.

 This term was not a reflection of an apathetic attitude nor was it a reflection of a lack of passion.  Rather, it was a reflection of knowing which battles were worth fighting for, and an acknowledgement that challenges will exist no matter how prepared we were.  So why not turn them into opportunities?   It was also a reflection of our appreciation for the differences in our highly interesting world filled with quirky people and bumpy roads.  Life would have been mundanely monochromatic without them.

Appreciating The Differences

David’s approach to the Chinese New Year celebrations underscored my point about appreciating the differences around him.  He was not new to the Chinese culture having spent half his life in this part of the world from Hong Kong to Singapore.  However, what I thought most remarkable was his appreciation of what was beyond the cultural celebrations but also the cultural expectations of his role as the son-in-law of the eldest child of the Ong family.  He took that role seriously, even when it meant ferrying my parents around when they needed his “ferrying service”, visiting my parents weekly, paying respect to my Granny and my parents on the first day of Chinese New Year, and eating whatever my Mum served at the table even when it looked like it was still moving.  David just went with the flow, embraced the whole family traditions and accepted the family quirks with this attitude – Whatever.

When we attended mass every Sunday as a family,  he went with the flow of the service and stood when he was required to, sat when he was required to and sang the hymns when he was required to, in between laughing at the old lady sitting next to him, who went off key.  When he was required to “offer a sign of peace”, he even politely bowed to that same old lady next to him, bowed to the other church-goers who sat  behind us, and gave me a kiss on my forehead.  For an atheist who had no concept of a divine being unless he could whip up an exquisite Banoffi pie, I truly appreciated the way he tagged along and just went with the flow of the service with the same attitude – Whatever.

Acknowledging That Challenges Exists No Matter What

At work, the same attitude - Whatever - governed the way we managed issues.  When big projects got unceremoniously dropped on our laps, we just took control and did what we could to launch them successfully.  These provided me with the opportunity to showcase the team’s strengths and highlighted their respective talents.  When the going got tough, the tough just kept going at it.  And the trick was to stay focused on the deliverables.  When obstacles got in the way, we would mutter “Whatever” under our breath and just got on with it.  We knew where best to invest our time and energy – on the projects – instead of mulling over obstacles, grieving over nay-sayers and nitpicking over the nitwitted ideas of marketers-want-to-be.

This morning, we encountered a colleague who snapped at us because she thought she was the only  one who had to deal with issues on a daily basis.   Funnily, my entire team has never snapped under pressure.  They were always composed, calmed and assured of their skills enough to get on with it.  To that colleague, we said, “Whatever.”  The opportunity presented itself for the rest of the company to see what a complete idiot she had made herself to be.

Picking The Right Battles

 Whenever my day did not turn out the way it should, I would just throw my hands up in the air and say, “Whatever,“  before taking a walk for a wee while.  Those precious few minutes should not be underrated because they gave me time to think about which battles were worth fighting for. 

 Lately, Joel had not been joining David and I, when we went out for dinner or a movie.  For one, he would do anything possible not to be seen with us two old fogies.  It was just “not cool”.  Secondly, he had his social life down to pat, what with a girlfriend and a busy schedule with his industrial attachment at the hospital.  I missed him tremendously but…oh well, whatever…If he needed me, he would know where to find me.
  
Whatever – The Magic Word

Whatever had become a magical word that swept the frustrations, grief, anxieties and anger away.  It kept us more focused, hence more productive.  It made life much easier because with that word, we all learnt to just get along with each other, even when we had differences of opinions.   We learnt to accept each others’ quirks and dismissed them as “WHATEVER”.  We opened our hearts and minds to new experiences, because we approached every challenge along the way with this attitude -  “WHATEVER”.  It turned differences in opinions into friendly banter when "WHATEVER" was used as a response to skeptics who thought my gifts as a Tarot reader and Numerologist was "wanky". 

When I posted the word "WHATEVER" as my Facebook status update, a friend asked, "Really, Jo? Whatever? Not like you at all."  I answered, "Yeah. Whatever. This is the year that I shall not sweat the small stuff, shall not bother with small-minded people, and shall not bear  grudges within me.  Whatever."

Try it from time to time.  It might save you from bursting a blood vessel just because some things did not go your way.   


About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.

Photo credit: David Ash, www.singaporemaven.com