Wednesday, 7 May 2014

My Little Piece Of Heaven - Sri Lanka


Our 13th anniversary present to each other could possibly be the best present ever.  We spent a week in Sri Lanka which could only be described as magical.  Now, this is not a travel blog so I would not want to pretend to be a travel blogger by regaling you with a colorful description of the bathroom tiles at our villa.  What made this trip magical was attributed to our magical experiences from day 0. So I had decided to dedicate this blog post to each magical moment that touched our hearts in Sri Lanka.

Templeberg Plantation

A couple of months before our trip, I tweeted about our intention to spend our 13th wedding anniversary at Sri Lanka. I was pleasantly surprised that I got a response via Twitter from the team at Templeberg Plantation in Galle.  Through my Twitter profile and my tweets, they knew  I was looking for an accommodation that could fit my need to include a daily dose of yoga practice and meditation.  So I was given information that this villa  was located at a coconut plantation, a few kilometers from the hustle and bustle of the main strip and set amidst lush greenery.  It was ideal for me. I needed the serenity to recharge my batteries.  It was even more ideal for my photography geek of a husband because he could take a lot of photographs of the flora and fauna within the grounds.

I was impressed with the proactivity of the team at Templeberg Plantation.  Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING apart from the rain was arranged via Twitter and email. There was no hassle, and I certainly had nothing to worry about.  The day I left for Sri Lanka, I was even pinged by a Tweet that had a picture of our room at the plantation suite, waiting for the looney Ash family to arrive.  Good thinking, guys!  I was immediately assured of the comforts of home away from home.

My Templeberg Family

 I was not disappointed at all when I arrived. The suite was, as promised, exquisite. The entire villa was welcoming and beautiful...even at 3am in the morning, under the rain.  What made it special, was not just that it was a Dutch colonial house steeped in history and was most suitable for a psychic empath like myself to practice  channeling. More on that in my other blog

My week in Sri Lanka was made extra special by the folks at Templeberg Plantation from its intrepid owner, Karin, to the villa staff  who were ever enthusiastic about ensuring our comfort, right down to Rewa and Mumu, their 4-legged multi-tasking staff who were patio managers,  monitor lizard and monkey pest controllers  by day,  and security managers by night.  There was also Trixie, the awesome cook who delighted us with food that she had cooked from her heart.  From her salads within which she put an entire jungle to her famous jackfruit curry, I was never left in want of meat.  I wished I could pack Trixie into my luggage and take her home with me, but Karin offered to send me home with jars of her mango chutney instead.  Another special member of the Templeberg crew was Sandrew, our driver, tour guide, and advisor of all things customary in Sri Lanka like when and how much to tip for a service rendered.  Underneath that strong and quiet demeanor was really a smart cookie. He refused my offer of money straight away at Yala National Park when I told him to stand 10 meters from the leopard's tree so that I could take a photograph.  Do not underestimate the bloke.

That week, we were the only guests at the plantation save for Felix, the monitor lizard.  I should have known that the hubby was often as thorough as the nit nurse doing a hair check at school when it came to travel research.  It was the start of the monsoon season so we were welcomed by plenty of rain.  Well, I did ask for serenity and I got it. We had to stay indoors to take in the serenity of the surroundings when it rained most of the day.   Even Felix, dropped by, strolling across the lawn whilst tasting the air with his tongue,  just to see who this looney couple was, seated at the patio all day muttering expletives at the rain. 

Free Rewa

Templeberg Plantation was like home and we were treated like family even by the dogs.  One day, Rewa bounded into the patio and nudged her head against my hand.  She then laid down and rubbed her neck against the floor as if to tell me something.  David and I realized something was indeed wrong when we spotted some wire entwined around her neck.  The more we tugged at it, the tighter it got, barely choking Rewa who was by then panicking and trying to run away from us.  I alerted Karin while David got the  villa staff Sandrew and Trixie to look for pliers, wire cutters and anything that could help free Rewa from her ordeal.  Trixie managed to herd Rewa into the study and held her down while David and Sandrew tried to cut the wire.  When the wire finally got cut, Rewa had a wee wound at the neck that looked quite raw but  I knew she would be okay.  On closer examination, we realized the wire was part of an illegal snare which was purpose-built to hunt porcupines. Whomever built that snare ought to be shot.  If Rewa was trapped any longer, she could have been suffocated.  Rewa spent the entire day at the patio by our side.  It was, as if, she wanted us to know how much she trusted us.  
Even Mumu,  who was limping on 3 legs due to a road accident, grew so fond of us that she would tap her paw on our lap whenever she wanted a head rub.  It was pure bliss to win the trust of these animals.

Trust Or Nonchalance

Another thing I found quite interesting was the general nonchalance of the animals here in Sri Lanka.  When Sandrew took us for a sight-seeing trip, I noticed the cows and buffaloes nonchalantly grazing in the fields along our journey.  They were also seen nonchalantly crossing the road  without the cowherd in sight.  Even the street dogs that laid in the middle of the road were nonchalantly staring at our on-coming Tuk Tuk and would not budge an inch in spite of Sandrew madly honking his horn to force the mutts to make way for us.  Yes, he finally drove around the mutts instead.  Alas, I could not take a photo of David when his hair stood on end, his hand gripped tightly to the roof of the Tuk Tuk and his full set of teeth gritted in fear. I had my eyes half closed at that time you see.  

Even the turtle at the turtle hatchery who lost his front right flipper to the  propeller of a boat seemed nonchalant about the fact that he was floating around like a plastic wind-up toy in his tank on 3 flippers while the hatchery staff were preparing to get his prosthetic flipper made.  I liked to think that even the animals practised the Buddhist philosophy of detachment as they appeared calm and composed.  I rationalized to myself that because these animals saw peace and kindness in the eyes of these wonderful people in Sri Lanka, they fully trusted that no one had any ill intentions and would not do anything to hurt them.

Harpooned By A Stilt Fishermen

On the 2nd day of my stay in Sri Lanka, I visited it's culturally famous stilt fishermen. I was amazed at this skill of fishing while perched high up on a stilt. The skill was passed from generation to generation and the fishermen were unique to Sri Lanka's coastal life.  I then spotted a sign at the beach with the words " Surfing School" written in bold.  I thought perhaps the surfing lessons were conducted by the sons or grandsons of these fishermen who did not fancy perching themselves up on stilts all day and  preferred riding the waves instead.  Anyhow, while I was tempted to give surfing lessons a shot, I suddenly saw a mental vision of being harpooned like a whale by the fishermen's long fishing rods should I fall off my surf board.  I very quickly aborted that daft idea and opted to pay a visit to the virgin tea pluckers instead.

White Tea Leaf Pluckers Are No Longer Virgins

We visited Handunugoda Virgin White Tea Plantation. You have never visited Sri Lanka unless you included a visit to a tea plantation. This one not only had tea shrubs but coffee shrubs, cinnamon trees, pepper trees, rubber trees, mahogany and teak trees.  The guide explained that the virgin white tea was so called because a long time ago, the Emperor in China ordered virgin maidens to cut the tea leaf buds with a pair of golden scissors and collected these leaves in a golden bowl.  Only the Emperor could consume white tea due to its rarity.  The guide then proceeded to say, still in his halting English, whilst pointing at the tea leaf pluckers, " No, no, they are no longer virgins." It made me laugh so hard because I had to think twice about what that poorly structured sentence meant.  


My First Safari Trip

Appreciating Sri Lanka's efforts on animal conservation and environmental awareness, we visited Yala National Park. It was like a zoo, with the only difference that if an animal caught us taking an unflattering photograph of it, it had full access to us as lunch. Yes, the park did not seem to have fencing around it to keep the animals in.  Note to self: When looking  to invest in a holiday home in Sri Lanka, do not purchase one next to the park unless you fancy being a leopard's lunch.  If you are hoping to visit Yala National Park one day, it is worth every minute of your time.  However, here are some simple rules :

Rule #1: Never consume a large 4-cheese pizza before that ride in the safari jeep. You might get hit by motion sickness and be forced to throw up at the side of the jeep.  This would definitely be of entertainment value to the safari guide and jeep driver.

Rule #2: Never attempt to switch seats mid-way through that ride in the jeep unless you want to land your face in the safari guide's crotch when the jeep jerks forward.  This would be of entertainment value to both guide and jeep driver.

Rule #3: Never stick your head out at the side of the jeep in an attempt to spot an animal.  You might get whacked in the face by an errant tree branch, and provide entertainment value to the safari guide and jeep driver.

Rule #4:  Be aware of where you are geographically and do not make yourself look stupid by asking to see non-indigenous animals like giraffes and lions.  This would not be of entertainment value to the safari guide and jeep driver who might think you are just attempting to dodge the customary practice of paying them tips.

Rule #5: You will be thrown violently around the back of the jeep because of the rough terrain. So do make an appointment with the chiropractor when you return home from your vacation and do not attempt the journey through the park if you are a) pregnant or b) suffering from piles.

Rule #6: Please tip generously. I was reminded by a friend that the locals do not have much to begin with so do not stinge on tipping. It does take a lot of effort and a keen Spidey sense to spot exotic animals in the bushes so please tip them for their effort. 

Rule #7: If you do visit the blowhole enroute to Yala National Park, do note that this blowhole has nothing to do with whales or whale-watching.   I wished someone told me that then.  This blowhole was a rock formation that created a gap at which the force of the waves will form a buildup of   pressure that contributes to sea water being blown up to 30 meters in the sky. 

My Little Piece Of Heaven

Sri Lanka was indeed my little piece of heaven.   As you can see, every place that I had visited, every person I spoke to and every thing that I had touched were magical moments for me.  Simple gestures like a dog's paw on my lap or a salad made with so much love brought me untold bliss.  In fact, due to the rainy weather, I hardly practised my yoga this week. I usually liked practicing yoga out in the garden  surrounded by nature so that I can better center and ground myself.  I realized I did not need to because I felt so centered and grounded already by these magical moments that surrounded me.


About The Writer:
The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com



Templeberg Plantation, Galle, Sri Lanka

Surrounded By Lush Greenery.  So Serene.

The Plantation Suite.  Beautiful.

Shell-shocked Rewa

Mumu Thanking David For Saving Her Friend Rewa


Buffalo Curd, Treacle And Fresh Tropical Fruits For Breakfast


Roti And Mango Chutney For Breakfast

Trixie's Everything-From-The-Jungle-Salad


Flipper, The 3-Flippered Turtle Waiting For His Prosthetic Flipper
Before He Can Be Set Free Again



Waiting For Baby Turtles To Crawl Out Of The Sand



You See? I Was Not Kidding About The Virgins

White Tea Leaf Bud




Tea Leaves Ready For Packing



"About Last Week...I Forgive You For Taking A Dump On My Head."



Stilt Fishermen

Sherman Posed For Us At The Tea Plantation

Beautiful Kingfisher - Found Everywhere In Sri Lanka

The Blowhole Is Not A Whale! I Repeat..It Is Not A Whale

Lucy, My Leopard At Yala National Park.  She Said, "Go Away, You Are Disturbing My Dinner."


This Jackal Was A Poser.  Followed Our Jeep Quite A Distance, Yala National Park

I Told Sandrew To Go Catch That Warthog For Me But He Refused, Yala National Park

Betty, What Happened To Your Horn? - Yala National Park




The Yala Safari Jeep.  I Lost My Tailbone With It.



Thursday, 1 May 2014

Championing The Cause Of The Asian Women's Welfare Organization

Last week, I visited a  Volunteer Workers Organization called Asian Women's Welfare Organization (AWWA).  Embarrassingly, I did not realize that the office complex of the AWWA was located across the road from where I lived, tucked at the end of a long road right behind a school.  I had for quite a long time, thought that AWWA was an organization that supporter only underprivileged women.  I was so surprised at the wide spectrum of beneficiaries that they had supported, including kids with special needs, the disadvantaged elderly, and they even provided caregiver support.  

Kids With Special Needs

AWWA ran a school for kids with special needs, as well as an after school program.  They also housed rehabilitative facilities for these kids.  What I was most impressed with was that their main focus was not to just raise funds for the disadvantaged and nearly forgotten segment of the population but to train and educate them in such a way as to facilitate their integration back into the community.  I had the privilege of visiting the kids in the midst of their after school program.  The kids were truly fun to be with. They were like sunshine, so warm, friendly, enthusiastic and so welcoming.  They chattered non-stop about their day as they put a puzzle or read a picture book together. They were happier and bouncier than regular kids, and there was definitely no question that they could integrate well with the community as they grow up to become productive adults.....if and only when the community would accept them and acknowledge their disabilities with compassion and generosity.

Caregiver Support

Also, realizing that while the disadvantaged benefitted from the compassion of many people, the caregivers were often forgotten.  These caregivers needed a network of support, counselling and training, for which the team at AWWA had been proactively providing.  What was most unfortunate was that while the establishment funded most of the support needed for the disadvantaged, they would not provide the funding for AWWA's effort towards supporting caregivers.  I was familiar with the needs of caregivers.  Mom had suffered depression, frustrations  a sore arm and back pains, when she took care of Dad.  I hired a nursing - trained helper for Mom so that she would not need to feel isolated and lonely as she took care of Dad.  However, there are thousands of others out there like Mom who might be bearing the burden alone.  So what AWWA had been developing to help caregivers was truly noble. I just wished there were more people who knew about it, hence my intention for writing this blogpost.

Help Needed

Out of the compassion of your heart, when you are attempting to make a difference in people's lives, whether by volunteering your time or donating some money, please remember the wonderful work that AWWA does.   I certainly am, whether through my work as a marketing communications head or through my passion as an intuitive reader running Sun Goddess Tarot.

About The Writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com



These beautiful artwork were done
by the kids with special needs. 
Add caption
Creativity and talent
have no boundaries and limitations.
"Happiness is like a butterfly which when pursued,
is always beyond our grasp, but if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

"In order to be open to creativity,
one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude.
 One must overcome the fear of being alone." - Rollo May

Wednesday, 30 April 2014

My List Of Happy Soul Moments

One of my intuitive coaches Danielle Dove inspired me today when I chanced upon one of her Facebook posts.  In that post, she asked, "What's on your list of happy soul moments?"  She then posted a hand-written note which had a listing of 5 things she gave and 5 things she had received that day which she had considered as her blessings.

Writing Down My List Of Blessings

So that prompted me to write down my own list of 5 things that I had given this week, and 5 things I had received and felt were my blessings.  I spent a good 2 hours thinking through these things in my list, not because I could not find any content for that list, but more so because I had so many and did not know how to prioritise them.  So I just listed down what came into my mind first. Logically, that should be a reflection of what I was most grateful for, because they appeared first in my mind, right? A snapshot of that list is attached below.

The Harmony Between Giving And Receiving

This evening, I had the chance to re-evaluate this list and felt a-washed with a lot of gratitude because for one, the list titled "What I gave" had 5 items listed on it but the list titled "What I had received" had 6 items on it.  I made a mistake.  The rule was to only jot down 5 items on each list but I did not realise I had added in a 6th item. But was it really a mistake?  Subconsciously, I believed that my heart and mind were in consensus that I had more opportunities to receive than I had given.  I promptly made a mental note to correct that in future.

Being Present

Then something struck me as I started thinking about that list I wrote.  Much of what I had given of myself was my time and energy.   I felt the best way to ensure that I had more opportunities to give, was to draw boundaries and have the courage to say NO.  By saying NO, then I could give more of my time to being PRESENT with the people who mattered.  So this is the list of what I gave today:

1) This evening, even when I was invited to a business cocktail,  which lasted till 8pm, I drew my boundaries upfront and informed the gracious host that I had to take my leave earlier at 7.30pm as it was my "date night" with the hubby.

2) One of my friends had been going through some personal issues at home and while she needed my help and advice, I had been "very difficult to track down".  We missed calls with each other, and we could not find a time suitable to visit each other.  She even had to resort to making an appointment with me.  So this afternoon, I made time to give her a call so that I could  listen to her as she discussed her issues with me.  

3)  12 May, the hubby and I would be celebrating our 13th or 14th wedding anniversary and his 50th birthday.  I would have then just gotten back from our week long vacation in Sri Lanka, so I knew he would understand if I told him that I wanted to take the day off on his birthday so that I could spend the day with Mom instead. I wanted to be present for Mom, spoil her and pamper her, and more importantly, give her a break from taking care of Dad.

Now within these 3 scenarios, they were opportunities presented for me to give my time and energy.  Equally so, I felt that they were blessings presented to me too:

1)  I was blessed with great conversation and laughter with the hubby at our date night.

2) I was blessed with my friend's full trust in me as she poured her heart out to me about her issues.  I was privileged to be able to help her as best as I could.  Where I could not, I was glad I provided her with a listening ear.

3) I was blessed with a very understanding hubby, who knew when to give me space to bond with my Mom.  He was never possessive of my time, and ever generous with ideas about where I could take her out to lunch.  I am so excited about my day with Mom when I can bond with her over a scrumptious lunch as we laugh about my childhood days or about Dad's antics. 

So you see?  I have now got a well-balanced list of what I had given, and what I had been blessed with.  Result!


About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com










My List Of Happy Soul Moments


Danielle's List Of Happy Soul Moments

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Giving My Awesome Cafe A Second Chance

Another Visit To My Awesome Cafe

Last week, I wrote a blog post lamenting the need for business owners to follow through on their fabulous ideas with  great action plans right through to the flawless delivery of their services or products.   

In that post, I mentioned My Awesome Café, one of Singapore’s newest and hippest cafés that had been making waves amongst professionals working in the Central Business District who were gagging for a moment of peace and relaxation as they sipped their coffees and tucked into their awesome salads, quiche, sandwiches or desserts.  I was quite unhappy with the slow service and wrong orders that some of us had experienced.  And I swore then never to visit My Awesome Café again.

However, when it came to desserts, or broadly, when it came to any kind of food, I always broke my promises.  My personal trainer and my heart surgeon would be familiar with this.

Today, I had decided to don my rather rare but widely welcomed calm composure, and gamely paid My Awesome Café another visit.  I attributed this irrational behavior to my uncontrollable weakness for desserts, and my soft spot for the café’s intrepid owner, Franck. 

The Second Chance

The service was still slow on the second visit, even though we were there at the tail-end of the busy lunch hour and wanted to just relax into a cup of coffee and a cake.  I sauntered to the dessert shelf and Franck gave me a rundown on all his awesome desserts.  I always enjoyed talking to Franck.  When I told him I might have the "Awegasm In A Cup", he would retort smugly, " Good choice!  That would be me then." 

I mustered a lot of self-control to order only 2 types of dessert – the pineapple upside down cake which I had lovingly labelled "Sex On A Plate" and the bread and butter pudding.  Both did not disappoint.  The pineapple upside down cake in particular, was served moist and warm and had generous chunks of pineapple in it.   In fact, I regretted not ordering 2 pineapple upside down cakes.  Maybe, next time, I might even pre-order the entire tray in fact. 

I soon forgot how long it took for the coffee to arrive.   Franck was quickly forgiven.  I was too busy enjoying the desserts that I forgot to even order my own cup of coffee while the rest of the girls in my party were served theirs.  

So you see, a customer could be so easily pleased if only one thing...just one thing..could be gotten right.  In My Awesome Cafe's case, there were two. One was the awesome desserts, the other was the awesome attitude of its owner Franck who managed to explain the menu items,  engaged the customers, took their orders and cleared the tables even when faced with the mounting pressure of his kitchen staff not turning around the food service fast enough and irate customers who just did not have the time to wait for a salad.

I am sure the café will soon creep back into my list of favorite chill-out places to go again.   I promptly chided myself for expecting perfection when I was there for awesomeness.  Perhaps, I needed to learn to separate the two.

When I am braver and calmer still, I will head back there for lunch to give its signature Awesome Salad another chance too.


About The Writer


The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader, numerologist and astrologer, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com




My Awesome Cafe's logo and vision

Sex On A Plate: Photo taken by Chia Seow Wee

Friday, 4 April 2014

Follow Through



My Uncool Experience With The Press

2 weeks ago, an embarrassing situation happened to me. I agreed to an interview with a journalist for a national newspaper on a topic close to my heart, health and wellness.  When the story was published, I was so embarrassed with the photograph they had published which depicted me in a Surya Namaskar position.  However, I did not look like a composed yoga practitioner in that photo, but more like a walrus waiting to be fed. What was worse was that the journalist was not on message and left out 99% of the content of my story to focus on my age, weight and weightloss goals.   I should have known better as a PR professional not to trust that the coverage would be aligned to my intent.  I should have followed through with questions to the journalist to ensure he understood the key messages I had expressed earlier to him.  So I blamed myself for how that story turned out. I should have followed through.

My “Un-Awesome” Experience At My Awesome Cafe

For a week now,  I had heard my team at work grumbling about one of Singapore’s hottest new cafes called My Awesome Café, that clearly did not deliver up to their promise of being awesome.   My first visit there a few weeks ago left me with a less than favorable impression of their service but an awesome impression of their desserts that came with awesome names like the rather orgasmic “Orgasm In A Cup”.  “Orgasm In A Cup” which was actually a rich chocolate pudding, could not possibly get past foreplay as it was a tiny timble-sized serving.  However, it tasted awesome.  In fact, it tasted more than awesome.   I enjoyed it so much that I went on to try the other desserts like the pineapple upside down cake.  Now, if that chocolate pudding was “Orgasm In A Cup”, the pineapple upside down cake was “Sex On A Plate”.  While I enjoyed the desserts, my “coitus interruptus” came in the form of their service.  It was painfully slow and peppered with orders that were mixed up to the chagrin of other customers that had been waiting for the last hour and a half.

Today, the team had decided to give My Awesome Café another chance and went there for lunch.  I was unfortunately bound to the stupid stationary bike at the gym, while my personal trainer brandished his whip.  I could not leave for my dose of orgasmic desserts at My Awesome Café.  So, the girls brought back a take-away box of the café’s signature Awesome salad which was supposed to come with roast chicken, duck rillette and smoked salmon on a bed of fresh greens.  I searched over and under the greens but no duck rillette could be found.  The guys at My Awesome Café must have forgotten the duck rillette and charged me the full price of $18 for that salad that was just slightly bigger than the size of a timble.  The girls also complained incessantly about the slow service and they swore never to visit the café again.

So what went wrong?

I blamed it on the lack of follow through.  The team at My Awesome Café had a great concept.  Fabulous food, gleaming smiles on the faces of the waiting staff, and a cosy rustic décor which could have been mistaken for my grandmother’s kitchen. I loved it.  However without following through on a great concept with the right number of waiting or kitchen staff that could cater to the busy lunchtime crowd in the heart of the Central Business District, I was not sure how long My Awesome Café can stay awesome.

Follow Through

The basic foundation of delivering to expectations was  really having the vision and drive to follow through.

I had a golf instructor some years back who often barked at me at the 15thhole of the golf course when I was exhausted, hot and bothered, “Follow through on your swing, Jo.  That was a lazy swing.”  I used to think that he was just annoying and gagging to get to the beers at the clubhouse but I understood  later that that was critical to my game.

My rugby coach used to holler from the sidelines, “Follow through with the ball! Use it or lose it!”  He became my husband years later and that allowed me to use the phrase back at him when he put his dirty clothes around the laundry basket instead of putting them in the laundry basket.  I would scream at him to follow through on his promise to keep the home tidy.  So I had grown to be quite fond of the phrase.

These days, I had been using the phrase quite a lot at work too. I used it when some brilliant idiot had thought of a supposedly creative idea but left it hanging in mid-air whilst expecting a fellow  colleague to telepathically pick up on his expectations to implement  his or her supposedly creative idea without a plan, resource or budget.  Needless to say, the idea was of course implemented with the fanfare of an egg and spoon race at a kindergarten.  That was when I would bark at my loudest, “Can someone with an IQ above 7 please follow through with this idea and turn it into a viable action plan in future?”

When I mentored my students at Tarot and Numerology, we often discussed case studies on the readings they had been doing.  When I noticed that one or two of the students had provided nothing else more than a very detailed and accurate interpretations of each Tarot card that had been picked for a spread, I would encourage them to follow through with the consultation by interpreting the cards to the clients’ situations and provide clear advice and options instead so that the clients could make informed decisions on how they should be managing their respective situations.  It was very important for me that my students learnt to follow through with the intent of turning a reading into an advice-centric consultation.

I found that in spite of all the fabulous ideas and vision that many people had when they started a business, many failed miserably when it came to the “follow through”.  I have had friends who started their businesses with beautifully designed business-cards, shiny offices that were renovated by award-winning interior designers, and well-developed websites that were search-optimized and came complete with CRM capabilities.  However, they ended up spending the next year wondering why their businesses stayed stagnant.  It was so telling that they had not followed through from their initial vision to create a practical business plan that was pegged against measurable KPIs.

Take Ownership

Instead of putting the blame on others or on the lack of help, support and resource for anything that did not go as planned, I would suggest that you take ownership for your own plans, ideas and vision by ensuring that you follow through at every stage to manage your own expectations for what a successful outcome may look like to you.

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.  Her other blog can be found at http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com




So embarrassing.  I looked like a walrus waiting to be fed some fish....sighhh

Orgasmic food at My Awesome Cafe Singapore.  I hope they better their service soon or else I will have to look for my orgasm from alternative sources.  Photo credit: Chia Seow Wee

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Reclaiming My Space

A few days ago, David posted this picture on Facebook that got me thinking about my constant desire to reclaim my personal space.  Do not get me wrong.  I enjoyed doing things with him.  In the last 13 years of our marriage, we did so many things together from playing rugby to planning yoga trips, to praying for the rescue-car to pick us up midway through the half marathon.  All these years, we often discovered new things about each other as "BFFs" should.  We seldom did anything without each other.  We were always "Team Ash".  We had never felt the need for space from each other too.  

Reclaiming My Space

Today, we are at a stage of our lives where we regarded ourselves as "pre-empty nesters" living with almost a figment of imagination of a son who only showed up in our room at wee hours of the morning to steal socks from David's drawer.   We were very thankful for the time and opportunity to re-discover new passions and hobbies. Some, were discovered with each other, and some on our own. Increasingly though, I felt the need to reclaim my personal space. I believe, in many ways, David felt the need to reclaim his as well.   The great thing about marrying my BFF was that besides finishing each other's sentences and pushing each other up the steep and rocky hills of life, we knew when to give each other space, and when to share our respective spaces from time to time.

In recent years, I  pursued a more spiritual lifestyle of practicing yoga and daily meditations whilst running a wee metaphysical business on the side called Sun Goddess Tarot.  David pursued his passion of rock music and photography more ardently than ever, whilst running a wee photography business on the side called Singapore Maven Photography.  For a while,  I felt that there was plenty of space within which we could indulge in  our individual creative self expression.  At the same time, when we were called by clients to "do our thing" at events together, we had so much fun.  This was truly bliss.

Sharing My Space

When I saw the photo posted by David on Facebook, I made an attempt to recollect the times we participated proactively in each other's passions without invading each other's personal space.  These thoughts slowly came back to me, and warmed my heart like a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows on a rainy night.  I would like to share them here:

1) I often jokingly called David my "unicorn guardian", to which he would retort, " Shhh! You cannot go around calling me that. What if the rugby guys heard it?" You see, because I had been pursuing a spiritual life tapping into my intuitive abilities to help my clients, I had exposed myself to a lot of negative energy that drained me constantly.  David protected me from these by encouraging me to get out more to feel the grass beneath my feet so that I could ground myself better.  He sometimes even drove me, before sunrise, to the beach to meditate to the sounds of the wave as the sun was rising.  He knew I was often hardened by my ego and worried about what people thought of my "woo-woo" crazy ways.   So he might join me from time to time, to feel the grass beneath his feet too.   He was in my space.  And I needed him there for a purpose.

2) I sometimes joined him at his gigs when he jammed with friends.  During those moments, I could see that I was but the second wife.  His first wife was his guitar. He held and cradled it with so much love and played it like a teasing Don Juan. He often had that intense look about him when he was playing with the band.  However, I also caught him beaming from ear to ear when I was there, sharing his space.  This was because I had a purpose.  I clapped the loudest.  I whistled loudly when he played some of my favourite songs.  I hopped around the band like a rabid hare with my camera, taking lots of photographs, so that I could proudly post them up on Facebook and Twitter.  I enjoyed being in his space.


3) This afternoon when we visited Mum and Dad, and had lunch with them.  David gave me space to be that 12 year old again, chomping noisily on my favourite food that Mum had lovingly cooked.  Occasionally he would look at me in horror but dismissed it 5 minutes later when I exposed the Singaporean in me by talking and laughing loudly while my mouth was full of food just because I was happiest when Mum cooked my favourite food for me.  He gave me my space to enjoy that semblance of childhood while I was at Mum and Dad's.  

4) Funny enough, this afternoon while visiting Mum and Dad, I had given David space to do what he enjoyed doing - tinkering with Mum's laptop.  He helped her run the virus scan, cleared her email folders and updated her software.  At the same time to my delight, I overheard a conversation between them which went like this.

Mum: Quick.  You search internet. Please compare different washing machine brands that I wish to buy.
David: Ok, this brand here costs only $499. Very good. It has 1 tick against the list of features.
Mum: No, no. I need one with 3 ticks. Must have 3 ticks!
David: Ok, this other brand costs $505.  It has 3 ticks. I sent you link.

I loved that conversation because I gave my very Scottish husband time and space to bond with my very Chinese mother.  That was a special space.  I left them to it because I would not want to invade their space as they created a Mother-in-law-Son-in-law bond that transcended cultural, ethnic and racial barriers.

Do I need to reclaim my space? I think not.  I know when to share it and when to own it.

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a 44 year old mother of one, who spreads her time between her day job as a marketing professional at a financial institution, her hobby as a certified professional tarot reader and numerologist, and her family which includes a 20 year old son and 3 dogs with personality disorders.  She's married to a Scot who has been affectionately called "The Crazy AngMo" and prays that he does not find out that the term when translated, has labeled him as a "Ginger Head".   Together, we create a home made up with more nuts than a fruitcake but filled with plenty of love.


His vs Hers

David attempting to be at one with nature

Notice the intense look in David's face when the guitar is in his hands?

David in his element when he jams with the band

That's me doing one of my daily sun salutations in Bali